SG donor database

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2008
SG donor database
25
Tue, 05-18-2010 - 2:01pm

Hello
Well, we were approved for the 1:3 program for Shady Grove, and were assigned our username/pw. We were disappointed to see that there were only 12 donors total of all races in this program - surprising because when I was given a temp password there were 40+ - including one who was my exact ethnicity (mixed asian/caucasian) & body-type (5'7", medium build.) Of these, there is only one who could be passable - but I don't want to pick someone just to pick someone. I don't want to sound cruel - but really it looks like these women are not the caliber we had hoped - heavier, shorter, older, less athletic. Did anyone else have this experience with SG? Did waiting a month help? Does anyone have an idea how much the pool increases if we pay the extra $9K?
Thanks

Susan

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2005
In reply to: sgadc
Tue, 05-18-2010 - 2:23pm

I'm surprised that you're not finding enough good donors :(


I do know that when you have your temp password, you're seeing all the donors and some of them are going to be in the 1:1 or 1:2 program and thus unavailable.


I was under the impression, though, that more donors were in the 1:3 program.


If I were you, I'd call your database coordinator and ask about it ... specifically ask about the donor you had seen and liked.

 


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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-11-2008
In reply to: sgadc
Tue, 05-18-2010 - 2:42pm

Hi Susan,
If you're not happy with the variety of donors, I would call Kara directly.

Isabel
Mom to Sebastian Robert after 3+ years of infertility

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2008
In reply to: sgadc
Tue, 05-18-2010 - 3:00pm

I was given the same impression as well (by my doctor) that there were more in the 3:1 database. I did email the database person, she told me that the one I liked is only 1:1 :( She did not give me the impression that there are any that are close in the pipe line....just a description of how they become available. I thought this quote from her e-mail was interesting...
the code allows access to only the donors in the program that you have deemed financially advantageous for you and your husband.

What does that mean? Financially advantageous for who exactly?
sorry if I sound like I am k'vitching - or suspicious of their motives- but we have had a LOT of disappointments w/ how we've been treated by Shady Grove over the past three years.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2005
In reply to: sgadc
Tue, 05-18-2010 - 10:12pm

"the code allows access to only the donors in the program that you have deemed financially advantageous for you and your husband."


This means, as I recall, if *you* have indicated that you want to be in the 1:3 program, you'll see the 1:3 donors.

 


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2008
In reply to: sgadc
Wed, 05-19-2010 - 8:22am

Hi there:


I was in the 1:3 program where there were more donors available. There were times when I didn't like who was there and so we sat back and waited for a bit and sure enough, the donors did change. I was especially picky, not on looks, but on proven donor, I would not cycle with a non-proven donor but that is me and my neuroses. There were times when the # of proven donors was just a few and times when there are many. I am also tall and ended up using frozen donor oocytes to find my tall donor. All the frozen oocyte donors are proven which made me happy. We ended up picking a donor for her girl next door looks with the idea that she wouldn't too dissimilar from us as she has similar coloring to my husband. My family has a whole range from fair to olive, so it is easy to place her in our spectrum.


My impressions on the 1:1 program is that the number of eggs that you get and the number of donors tend to be higher because they don't have to split the eggs 2 or 3 ways. That means women who are a bit older who have cycled before or have their own children, may make the 1:1 or 1:2 groups because although they produce a smaller # of eggs, they are successful. This also gives you more choices.


I know from other donor egg boards that Asian or part Asian donors are tough to find. One lady on the Fertile Thoughts board in S. CA wanted a 100% Chinese donor but ended up with someone who is Amerasian just because they couldn't find an exact ethnic match. You would think that in the DC area, there would be a large, diverse pool of donors.


I'm sorry you've had a tough time with SG.My experiences were 98% positive. One thing I did notice was it made a huge difference who your nurse is (I'm sure there are SG people here who would agree). Is there a possibility you could trade nurses? Also, the person you have for the mock cycle is not necessarily the nurse you will have for future cycles.


Good luck to you and hope you can find a donor soon!


Best wishes,


Gabrielle

Franklin and Callan

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2008
In reply to: sgadc
Wed, 05-19-2010 - 11:43am

Well, the database is down to 5 women now, really - it seems to me that they want us to pay the extra $10K for the 1:1 or 1:2 program, other than the obvious financial burden, we just do not want to have too many eggs out there. Ugh

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
In reply to: sgadc
Thu, 05-20-2010 - 5:03pm

hi Susan,


I'm really surprised that the database is so low. We were in the 1:3 program also and it took me 4 tries to finally get our baby. There were always at least 25+ donors in the database.


The 1st donor we picked was perfect but she backed out on us. Though we were devastated, we contacted Kara immeduately and told her what we were looking for and asked if there was anyone coming up that she thought might be right. It took about 3 months but we found our donor with Karas help.~~that pg ended in m/c and as soon as we were ready, we got access again and it took a few months to find what we wanted. That next cycle ended in an ectopic but we liked that donor so much that Kara asked if she would be interested in donating again---and she was so we used her again but that ended in BFN. This last time, we were getting impatient but we waited and got the perfect donor which resulted in a BFP and the birth of our baby.


The one thing I will tell you is that the 1:1 and 1:2 recipients DO have access to the 1:3 database. I saw a donor I liked and called my DH but by the time he got on-line to look, someone from the 1:1 program had snagged her. I was so irritated by that and thought it was crappy but when you think about it, those people do pay more.


If I were you, I would hold out for what you want. Call Kara and ask her if the donor you liked that is now in the 1:1 program is a repeat donor and if she thinks she might cycle again. Also, ask Kara if she knows of any Asian/Caucasions that are in the approval process. She was a great help to us and will help you if there's any way she can.


It took us 2.5 years at SG and 6 years total to finally get our child and a lot of it was waiting for the correct donor. That waiting gave us the child that is perfect for us !!!


I seriously don't think they want you to spend the extra 10K---they have so many people in the program that they don't need to screw people....just my opinion. I am 100% in favor of SG and wish they'd open a branch in Pittsburgh---I'd go work for them.


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2007
In reply to: sgadc
Wed, 06-02-2010 - 2:16pm

Hi there


I remember seeing you on the TTC board a while back - I had started on there in 2007 - I have just contacted Shady Grove myself - had one failed IVF and went to a new clinic my friend went to but I don't like them to much - they are very pre-occupied and I hate that - I called Shady Grove - so far so good they are very nice I have a Consult over the phone next week to get started - its now DE since I am 410and I got 3 eggs only on my IVF last year...


I sure hope it doesnt take to long to find a donor - I would love to try and be PG by September ( thats out 10 year wedding anniversary)


I see you had a good experience there... I am in NY so I would have to Fly/Drive in, which did you go to Baltimore? Rockland?


Thanks


Laura G

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2008
In reply to: sgadc
Tue, 06-08-2010 - 12:05pm

Hi Laura,


I live in the DC area, so I go to Rockville & DC.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2007
In reply to: sgadc
Tue, 06-08-2010 - 1:02pm

Thats great - how do you like them - I am in NY so I have to travel a bit but if it works out I have no trouble with that.

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