iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
Wed, 09-05-2007 - 8:08am

Her drug test. I cant beleave this... Im so burnt out. First donor never called back, this donor was wonderful, but just found out yesterday she failed her drug test. WE were just getting ready to get our cycle calender, i have been sicker then a dog on these stupid birth control pills for 3 weeks, and now this.

$2500 dollars in testing, out the window, i told the de corninator, if she cant get a return de who has already passed her testing, that we want out, we do not have anymore money for any more donors to be tested.. this is a mess!!! I mean, what now. I picked her out at the beggining of july.

My de cordinator said my re kept going back and fourth weather or not to use her or not because they were all so surprised because she was so nice, but they said that it wouldnt be right to me and my dh not knowing if she would be using drugs during stims... Im just wondering if it was weed???? They wont tell me.

Anyone have any advice, should i just give up, or wait for a return de to agree to another cycle, i asked if we would have to pay for another donor testing, and de corndinator wasnt sure, welp, thats jut out of the question, we dont have the money... and thats it.

so what should it do.. im so so sad, im ready to just let go of a 3 baby... and just be greatful of my 2 big kids and granddaughter. but my heart still wants a baby. any advice good or bad is welcome.

bethy (florida)

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Wed, 09-05-2007 - 11:28am

I would not give up, just due to one bad experience with a donor. The whole process is expensive and time consuming, though. That is just the way IVF is. I have been reading ab ook called Infertility Survival, and the author says that the infertility/IVF journey is a long one that requires a lot of patience; there will be a lot of stumbling blocks along the way.

It sounds like this woman was donating her eggs to get more money to fuel her drug habit? I know that drug tests are rarely wrong. Its sad that some people are just doing this for the money. Its unlikely this woman will find anyone who wants her eggs, if she is a drug user.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2007
Mon, 09-10-2007 - 9:40pm
Our first donor fell through, too. She simply stopped returning the clinic's calls. Yes, we were bummed, but another, better donor became available. Things happen for a reason. Isn't it a good thing you learned your first donor was on drugs BEFORE she donated her eggs? Although I must say I'm surprised the clinic didn't screen her before they made her available.