State Demanding Sperm Donor Pay Child Support

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
State Demanding Sperm Donor Pay Child Support
Wed, 01-02-2013 - 1:45pm

A Kansas man who donated sperm to a lesbian couple is being held liable for child support by the state, even though that goes against a signed agreement by all parties that he would never have any legal responsibility for the child: 

The two women raising the 3-year-old girl say they support the man, who responded to an ad they posted on the Craigslist website in 2009, the Topeka Capital-Journal reported.

The issue of child support arose when the two women broke up, and the couple applied for state services. Workers at the Kansas Department for Children and Families demanded the donor’s name and then filed a child-support claim against him, the newspaper said.

You can find the complete article at this link:

The state is arguing that since the insemination wasn't performed by a licensed physician that it voids the contract.  

If you were choosing an at home insemination, does this story cause you to rethink your decision?  Do you think it's better to go through a clinic even though it's much more expensive?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-07-2011
Fri, 01-04-2013 - 12:36pm

I hope you don't mind me replying, I just saw this topic in passing. I don't agree with the state's position at all. This man entered into a contract and I'm not seeing how the state could void it based on who performed the procedure. They are also setting precedent that could cause people to rethink being a donor.  I also think that it would force people to use clinics versus a cheaper alternative.  

With regards to this specific family, I'm curious why they have so many children when they have to seek state support now.  I'm surprised they were able to adopt in the first place. 


Community Leader
Registered: 01-03-2004
Sun, 01-06-2013 - 10:08am

How sad for everyone involved. This is a harsh lesson in why you NEVER do anything without consulting an attorney, especially in matters of children. There's a reason sperm banks charge the fees they do: they include legal documentation and attorneys who vet the agreement to protect donors from this very scenerio. The reason the state is going after the sperm donor is this particular case is very straight forward: the women involved applied for public aid. When you do that - almost without exception - the state is going to ask where "other income" is coming from or possible. In this case, the women would be denied public aid for failing to report child support or failing to name a potential source of income, in this case the father of their daughter, so they could be fairly assessed for aid. The poor sap who thought he was being a good person didn't understand he was putting himself in legal jeopardy by going through the Craig's list ad, and I daresay, neither did these well-meaning women.  NEVER, and I mean NEVER, be so naive to think you can walk away from something like this without the advice of an experienced attorney. (And I am NOT one.) If he had sought legal counsel the lawyer probably would have told him to RUN the other way rather than "help" out. If anything, he could have offered to help pay for sperm bank fees the women obviously could not afford to pay.

Sad. Just sad.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-07-2011
Mon, 01-07-2013 - 12:36pm
I would hope that that the contract he signed was drawn up by a lawyer, the article said the state declared it void because it wasn't done at a clinic. You are right that if he didn't go through an attorney he made a huge mistake.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2011
Mon, 01-07-2013 - 11:51pm

It doesn't sound like the woman asked for help - this is all the state's doing. I wouldn't be surprised if the man simply "disappears" to a different state very soon.

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