Ok I am starting to go crazy - help!

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Registered: 04-12-2010
Ok I am starting to go crazy - help!
13
Tue, 04-19-2011 - 8:49pm

Ok guys I am reaching freak out point. This two week wait is worse then the original 2ww. Other then the sensative nipples (which I feel might be slightly less sensative but who knows) no changes. Nothing. I am delving straight into the TMI so I am sorry in advance.

My nipples are no darker (I have looked at them far more then a straight woman should). And worse, I am having the opposite issue of constipation. Actually this is embaressing to say (which is odd Im a nurse and so do not often get embaressed) but I actually had an episode of diarrhea. I got a cramp and before I could make it to the bathroom......well lets just say I had to do a quick load of laundry. Again I am SOOO sorry if this is TMI but all of this seems SO opposite the signs of pregnancy that I already feel like I have lost hope. Hope and sanity. And a stitch of dignity considering I am 25 and might have to consider wearing a diaper. I hate to think what would have happened if I was not home.....

I just feel this sense of impending doom. Like I am going to go to this appointment and it will be ectopic. Or it will have stopped growing and we will hear the silence of failure instead of a heartbeat like we want. I am trying to stay positive but I feel like I should be feeling something other then this awful embaressment and depression. I just start crying randomly and I feel like I cannot talk to anyone because no one but my DH knows about our possible good news.

So thanks in advance for listening to my rambling. I am so sorry if I grossed you guys out to much I am just at a loss.

Dixie

"Even miracles take a little time." ~ Fairy Godmother: Cinderella

TTC since April 2009

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2004
Tue, 04-19-2011 - 10:25pm
If I were in your situation I would be just as nervous! Here's my TMI back, I had terrible diarrhea from about week 6 till week 10..it was awful how much I had to drink to make up for it! I figured that was my MS instead of vomiting, lol. I also haven't noticed much of a darkening of my nipples, they are mostly just bigger and the aerola is MUCH bigger.

I have also learned that there is no set pregnancy symptom guideline. So don't focus on that. Each pregnancy is different and each woman is different so don't think these reasons mean it isn't real. I think alot of your feelings are due to your previous losses and that you are keeping it in(rightly so) until you know what's going on. Just focus on the positives and know that you got a positive BFP and as far as you know, you are pregnant. ((HUGS)) thinking of you and definitely keeping everything crossed that this is the baby you so very much deserve.
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Registered: 10-26-2005
Tue, 04-19-2011 - 10:27pm

Dixie, I think that what most of us have gone through and the multiple losses you have endured, we tend to gear ourselves up for bad news. It's a

Me ~ 31  DH ~ 33  TTC #1 since August 2002. Dealing with mild Endo, PCOS, D

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-28-2009
Wed, 04-20-2011 - 12:19pm

Ok, that made me laugh! My sister had a similar episode when she was pregnant, but she was in a car...2 hours from home and had to stop and buy new pants! She laughs about it now...but not then!!

I totally feel your worry. I felt the same with each of my two after the first. Once you have a loss, you will always worry. Can you call your doc and get another blood test? It sure would ease your mind!

I've got my fingers crossed for you!!!

-Jamie

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2010
Wed, 04-20-2011 - 2:04pm

Dixie, I also had the "opposite" problem around weeks 5-8.

~ Meron born 12-09-11 after 3 1/2 years of TTC, IUIs and IVF.
~ #2 on the way(!) and due 06-06-13.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2004
Wed, 04-20-2011 - 3:44pm
I second you on the MS thing. I remember being 6 weeks and saying how great I felt..little did I know;)
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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2010
Wed, 04-20-2011 - 6:31pm

Thanks guys. I think I am going to hold out. Between my orientation the next two days and Easter this weekend I can survive one more week. Next week I will be packing for Disney and so I think Wednesday will come by in the flash of an eye. I guess I was just freaking out because I feel no different. I am really hoping that next Wednesday I will hear a heart beat and will feel better about it all.

And thanks so much for the stories that I am not the only one suffering the "opposite" of expected. I have always had some trouble since they put me on the Metformin but I must say this is the first time since I was 5 that I actually could not make it to the bathroom. I did laugh later that night as who could believe a 25 year old woman for lack of a better phrase - pooped her pants.

I am however terrified it will happen tomorrow at my new job orientation. I really REALLY do not think it will be funny then. Lol

Dixie

"Even miracles take a little time." ~ Fairy Godmother: Cinderella

TTC since April 2009

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2010
Wed, 04-20-2011 - 7:28pm

Hi Dixie,

I wonder if it's partly stress related?

~ Meron born 12-09-11 after 3 1/2 years of TTC, IUIs and IVF.
~ #2 on the way(!) and due 06-06-13.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2010
Wed, 04-20-2011 - 8:04pm

Actually aside from the stress of waiting for my first u/s I have been good. I am very excited about my new job (although I just found out today as I was reading through the insurance options that I have NO infertility coverage. I guess MD had manditory coverage but not VA. Not that my last insurances 30% did much for anything as it did not count towards meds). I also am super excited about the Disney trip. So maybe some stress over the u/s. However I did read increased progesterone can cause that opposite problem and I am still on the suppositories (I am hoping with the u/s we can stop or else I have to bring them on vaca with me and I do not want that). So I am sure my meds, plus the stress is just not going well. I will have to try the cheese, although bananas are no good for me as I am allergic and would definately end up in the ER. Although maybe they would do an u/s for me, lol.

Yes you guys definately did help. I know that after all my other losses I just feel like if I allow myself to be happy I will be let down. It is definately a defense mechanism. I have never gotten this far with any BFP (beta numbers that went up that nicely) so I feel like it is too good to be true and I will jinx it being excited. I guess I wanted God to stamp my forehead with a big ol "Yes you are pregnant" sign.

I swear when I do become a parent I will have being patient down to the science.

Dixie

"Even miracles take a little time." ~ Fairy Godmother: Cinderella

TTC since April 2009

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2009
Thu, 04-21-2011 - 11:57am
OH Dixie.... I know how hard it is not to obsess over every little thing. I know EXACTLY what you are going through right now. Every little thing that happens, doesn't happen, happens too quickly, happens not soon enough, appears, doesn't appear... UGH! It s a laundry list of things that is enough to make you go CRAZY. I wish there was something that I could say to make the worry go away, but unfortunately, I don't even know! I STILL go through it myself and I'm 1/2 thru this pregnancy.

I hope everything is okay. Is there anyway you can get in any earlier to see your OB.?
Finally pregnant after 3 yrs of ttc and 3 losses. Lilypie Pregnancy tickers EDD: 9/18/11
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Registered: 04-12-2010
Thu, 04-21-2011 - 8:15pm

If I tried it would have to be without my DH. My RE is 2 hours away and so it is an adventure to get there. I think I will just put on my big girl panties and wait. As hard as it clearly is.

Dixie

"Even miracles take a little time." ~ Fairy Godmother: Cinderella

TTC since April 2009

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