Ok I am starting to go crazy - help!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2010
Ok I am starting to go crazy - help!
13
Tue, 04-19-2011 - 8:49pm

Ok guys I am reaching freak out point. This two week wait is worse then the original 2ww. Other then the sensative nipples (which I feel might be slightly less sensative but who knows) no changes. Nothing. I am delving straight into the TMI so I am sorry in advance.

My nipples are no darker (I have looked at them far more then a straight woman should). And worse, I am having the opposite issue of constipation. Actually this is embaressing to say (which is odd Im a nurse and so do not often get embaressed) but I actually had an episode of diarrhea. I got a cramp and before I could make it to the bathroom......well lets just say I had to do a quick load of laundry. Again I am SOOO sorry if this is TMI but all of this seems SO opposite the signs of pregnancy that I already feel like I have lost hope. Hope and sanity. And a stitch of dignity considering I am 25 and might have to consider wearing a diaper. I hate to think what would have happened if I was not home.....

I just feel this sense of impending doom. Like I am going to go to this appointment and it will be ectopic. Or it will have stopped growing and we will hear the silence of failure instead of a heartbeat like we want. I am trying to stay positive but I feel like I should be feeling something other then this awful embaressment and depression. I just start crying randomly and I feel like I cannot talk to anyone because no one but my DH knows about our possible good news.

So thanks in advance for listening to my rambling. I am so sorry if I grossed you guys out to much I am just at a loss.

Dixie

"Even miracles take a little time." ~ Fairy Godmother: Cinderella

TTC since April 2009

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2010
Wed, 04-27-2011 - 7:33pm

Ok Dixie...how did it go???

Robin

Mom to 2-year old twin boys, Dawson & Devin

TTC #3

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2004
Wed, 04-27-2011 - 3:45pm
I hope your appointment is going/went well!
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2010
Tue, 04-26-2011 - 10:52am

Dixie - Sorry that I'm just getting to this now...life's been busy!

Robin

Mom to 2-year old twin boys, Dawson & Devin

TTC #3

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2010
Thu, 04-21-2011 - 8:15pm

If I tried it would have to be without my DH. My RE is 2 hours away and so it is an adventure to get there. I think I will just put on my big girl panties and wait. As hard as it clearly is.

Dixie

"Even miracles take a little time." ~ Fairy Godmother: Cinderella

TTC since April 2009

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2009
Thu, 04-21-2011 - 11:57am
OH Dixie.... I know how hard it is not to obsess over every little thing. I know EXACTLY what you are going through right now. Every little thing that happens, doesn't happen, happens too quickly, happens not soon enough, appears, doesn't appear... UGH! It s a laundry list of things that is enough to make you go CRAZY. I wish there was something that I could say to make the worry go away, but unfortunately, I don't even know! I STILL go through it myself and I'm 1/2 thru this pregnancy.

I hope everything is okay. Is there anyway you can get in any earlier to see your OB.?
Finally pregnant after 3 yrs of ttc and 3 losses. Lilypie Pregnancy tickers EDD: 9/18/11
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2010
Wed, 04-20-2011 - 8:04pm

Actually aside from the stress of waiting for my first u/s I have been good. I am very excited about my new job (although I just found out today as I was reading through the insurance options that I have NO infertility coverage. I guess MD had manditory coverage but not VA. Not that my last insurances 30% did much for anything as it did not count towards meds). I also am super excited about the Disney trip. So maybe some stress over the u/s. However I did read increased progesterone can cause that opposite problem and I am still on the suppositories (I am hoping with the u/s we can stop or else I have to bring them on vaca with me and I do not want that). So I am sure my meds, plus the stress is just not going well. I will have to try the cheese, although bananas are no good for me as I am allergic and would definately end up in the ER. Although maybe they would do an u/s for me, lol.

Yes you guys definately did help. I know that after all my other losses I just feel like if I allow myself to be happy I will be let down. It is definately a defense mechanism. I have never gotten this far with any BFP (beta numbers that went up that nicely) so I feel like it is too good to be true and I will jinx it being excited. I guess I wanted God to stamp my forehead with a big ol "Yes you are pregnant" sign.

I swear when I do become a parent I will have being patient down to the science.

Dixie

"Even miracles take a little time." ~ Fairy Godmother: Cinderella

TTC since April 2009

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2010
Wed, 04-20-2011 - 7:28pm

Hi Dixie,

I wonder if it's partly stress related?

~ Meron born 12-09-11 after 3 1/2 years of TTC, IUIs and IVF.
~ #2 on the way(!) and due 06-06-13.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2010
Wed, 04-20-2011 - 6:31pm

Thanks guys. I think I am going to hold out. Between my orientation the next two days and Easter this weekend I can survive one more week. Next week I will be packing for Disney and so I think Wednesday will come by in the flash of an eye. I guess I was just freaking out because I feel no different. I am really hoping that next Wednesday I will hear a heart beat and will feel better about it all.

And thanks so much for the stories that I am not the only one suffering the "opposite" of expected. I have always had some trouble since they put me on the Metformin but I must say this is the first time since I was 5 that I actually could not make it to the bathroom. I did laugh later that night as who could believe a 25 year old woman for lack of a better phrase - pooped her pants.

I am however terrified it will happen tomorrow at my new job orientation. I really REALLY do not think it will be funny then. Lol

Dixie

"Even miracles take a little time." ~ Fairy Godmother: Cinderella

TTC since April 2009

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2004
Wed, 04-20-2011 - 3:44pm
I second you on the MS thing. I remember being 6 weeks and saying how great I felt..little did I know;)
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2010
Wed, 04-20-2011 - 2:04pm

Dixie, I also had the "opposite" problem around weeks 5-8.

~ Meron born 12-09-11 after 3 1/2 years of TTC, IUIs and IVF.
~ #2 on the way(!) and due 06-06-13.

Pages