Angry,confused,depressed.worried,afraid.

Avatar for trinigirl2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2010
Angry,confused,depressed.worried,afraid.
7
Thu, 07-01-2010 - 12:20pm

Hey ladies,


                    So yesterday I had my first R.E. app. and I was excited.....this meant we were a step closer in achieving our goal of having a baby. I kept thinking that we would go and DH would do another S.A. I would have some blood work done, {since no testing has been done on me} we would wait a couple of weeks on the results and then set up another app. where she would tell me ok the next step is doing an iui. I was totally prepared for that senario.


So imagine my surprise when she started telling me that from DH last S.A. {done @ another lab} that his sperm count might be so low that she might not be able to find any healthy sperm, and that the ones that are there might be dead, abnormal or immature {he has germinal cells}. So she was suggesting that my option would be donor sperm. My huband wasn't 100% onboard with that so most of the day I was aorried that I might never have children....... DH did a blood test and another SA, I was praying his count went up.


Then the  R.E. went on to say that since my husband is an only child that maybe something in his dad's genetics was wrong and it was passed on to him and that as the generations go it will get worst. Also if we should have a son he might not have any sperm!!!Then she told me that basically our only option is ivf, which i never wanted to do. The fustrating part is right now we cannot afford this we just got married in April 09. Its $60,000 {It sure sucks living in Trinidad right now}!!!!  I'm sure our parents will help but I can't bring myself to tell my parents. My dad will be so sad he and my mom are separated and he keeps joking with me about grand children...


I am sad that financially its not within our reach yet, I'm worried  that we will not save all before the yr is up because the R.E. says the cost goes up every yr. Im scared if we get the money it will not work or they might have to cancel my cycle, if they do I will only get back $30,000. I'm terrified of it working and I get pregant with twins, apparently the risk of miscarriage is high. I'm worried that I might be pregnant with a son, who maybe infertile. I'm also worried that if I am pregant I will not be able to enjoy my pregancy but be filled with worry over abnormalities ect. Plus the fact that we could probbly have only one child as opposed to 3-4 is daunting...The only hope I have is that God never gives you more than you could bear so he must know that I can go through something like this and be ok in the end.


 


amanda

TRYING TO CONCEIVE BABY #1


cycles 1 to 13 naturally.... BFN


DH has low sperm count.......

Me - (Amanda 27) My dh-- 26 We have been ttc # 1 for 3yrs 5mths My dh has severe oligospermia, Ivf with icsi is our only option. Ivf # 1--- failed Ivf # 2--- failed Ivf # 3-- hopefully in March 2013 at a new clinic!

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2005
Fri, 07-02-2010 - 9:14am

Amanda,


I start my IVF meds on 7-9-10 and have retrieval sometime around 7-19 thru 7-25.

Me ~ 31

Me ~ 31  DH ~ 33  TTC #1 since August 2002. Dealing with mild Endo, PCOS, D

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2010
Thu, 07-01-2010 - 10:07pm

Amanda I am so sorry to hear that your appointment was not what you had hoped for. It is very overwhelming to hear that things might not go the way you wanted or planned. Perhaps this next SA will give you more hope.


Sometimes I find it hard to process all the news at once. Perhaps after a day or two you and your DH can sit down and look at your options again.


I wish you all the luck in the world.

Dixie


M/C November 2009


Metformin December 2009


Clomid #1 50mg April 2010 = no O :-(


Clomid #2 100mg May 2010 = BFN


Clomid #3 150mg July 2010


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Dixie

"Even miracles take a little time." ~ Fairy Godmother: Cinderella

TTC since April 2009

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2008
Thu, 07-01-2010 - 8:55pm

Remember - It only takes one!! This doctor's blog is incredible. He ALWAYS suggests getting multiple analyses for husbands. Things change and often labs are wrong or off. Don't give up! Read some of his research and success stories:


http://infertilityblog.blogspot.com/2010/04/cancelling-ivf-converting-to-iui-and.html


Good Luck!!!

Myrtle Beach
Avatar for trinigirl2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2010
Thu, 07-01-2010 - 2:19pm

Hey katrina,


Me - (Amanda 27) My dh-- 26 We have been ttc # 1 for 3yrs 5mths My dh has severe oligospermia, Ivf with icsi is our only option. Ivf # 1--- failed Ivf # 2--- failed Ivf # 3-- hopefully in March 2013 at a new clinic!

 

Avatar for trinigirl2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2010
Thu, 07-01-2010 - 1:47pm

Hey Andrea,


Me - (Amanda 27) My dh-- 26 We have been ttc # 1 for 3yrs 5mths My dh has severe oligospermia, Ivf with icsi is our only option. Ivf # 1--- failed Ivf # 2--- failed Ivf # 3-- hopefully in March 2013 at a new clinic!

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2005
Thu, 07-01-2010 - 1:34pm

Amanda,


I agree with Andrea. I am not sure why the RE would jump to conclusions without further testing. Is this the only RE in your area that you can see? It might benefit to see another RE to get a second option. What a harsh harsh appointment. I am so sorry that you had to hear things that way. It is hard enough going through life know that you have fertility issues but then to have a DR be so blunt and uncaring is appalling. 60000.00 is a lot of money to pay for IVF. I too would look into other destinations that offer IVF at a much cheaper rate.


As far as passing something genetically to your child I think is something we all think about. I have female issues and have a 13 DD. I worry all the time that she is going to end up with my issues as my mom passed them down to me.

Me ~ 31  DH ~ 33  TTC #1 since August 2002. Dealing with mild Endo, PCOS, D

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2009
Thu, 07-01-2010 - 12:35pm


Hi Amanda- I'm sorry you had such a harsh appointment. I feel like the dr might be jumping the gun a bit and making some pretty bold statements without a lot of data. Are there other fertility specialists you can see? I would definitely wait to see what your DH's next SA results are before being too depressed about the appointment. I also find it odd that the dr didn't really start doing a work up on you- it just seems s/he really jumped the gun. How does s/he know why your DH is an only child? S/he just made a lot of assumptions.

If you do end up doing IVF, I recommend looking into doing it elsewhere. $60,000 would pay for at least 2 IVF cycles plus travel costs to the US. I am a history professor who does research in Africa, and if I have to do IVF and $ is a real problem, I'm considering looking into doing IVF in South Africa, which would be cheaper even with travel costs and has some reputable IVF clinics. I believe Ghana is also marketing itself as a high success rate travel destination for "tourism ivf."

I'm mad that the dr threw all this at you without really knowing much about you and your DH's physical conditions. Personally, I'd be looking for a different dr. I don't want my dr to fill me with false hope, but I equally do not want a bunch of assumptions thrown at me without any real data.

Good luck to you, and I'm so sorry you had such a disappointing first visit.

Andrea

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