Another "oops"

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2008
Another "oops"
17
Tue, 11-04-2008 - 12:54pm

OK....so I finally read some of my aunt's emails that I had been ignoring....and then I had to call one of my cousins for more details....and it turns out my 41 year old divorced/single cousin is pregnant....with an OOPS....from a few-night stand who wants nothing to do with her or the baby...and then the kicker- she is somewhere around 8 months and didn't want to let the rest of the family know because of 'what we would think'.


I have been TRYING so hard to get pregnant!!!! THIS IS SO NOT FAIR!!!!!!! WHAT GIVES!?!?!?!?!?!?


She travels every week for her job, so she has dumped off her first child with her ex-husband.  Her mother (one of my aunts) lives with her to be a full-time granny/nanny to the second child (years of IF, conceived with meds and IUI).  She had gastric bypass/lap bad surgery, lost ~150 lbs, started traveling for her job, got divorced, and blammo- I am upset for my own selfish reasons, but also I can't believe she's out there having unprotected sex with such a loser. 


The aunt who broke the news to the rest of the family wants us to email or send something to cheer her up, etc.  SO, they didn't want us to know- but now they want to be cheered up, get presents, etc....BLAH. 


They have no ideas of my IF struggles...and they would be completely insensitive and inappropriate to me if they did.  I guess the silver lining is that she tried for several years with her ex to have their second child, and had to do a few med. IUI's....and now she gets this miracle (well, I consider it a miracle) out of the blue at age 41. So that gives me a little hope I guess.

Angela


Me 31, C 33. Together since 1994. TTC Since November 2006. Me-Low thyroid function, cystic ovaries but not PCOS C-1st SA rockstar except low morph, 2nd SA still low morph and now borderline motility....trying 3 unmonitored cycles of Femara....then it's back to the RE for me and the RE/Urologist for him


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Angela

Me 32, C 34. Toge

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2008
Tue, 11-04-2008 - 1:31pm
hi angela,
getting
(((((hugs))))) it's so frustrating when you hear a story like that! i had a friend who commented that not only do pregnant women get a BABY, they get tons of gifts and are celebrated. us going through IF never get such things, even though IF is harder than anything. i have a friend in her early 40s, no boyfriend, quite overweight, i think on birth control, who had a 1-night thing with her ex and guess what?? you got it! and she never wanted to have kids. it is totally UNFAIR the way babies are "given out". if getting pg was based on wanting it or deserving it, you would not be dealing with IF. and even though your family doesn't realize they're being insensitive, it still stings nonetheless. please know you can always vent here! it can sometimes help...

ana


TTC since Sept '06. Diagnosed w/ PCOS, DH diagnosed with azoospermia Dec '06, TESA Mar '07
IVF/ICSI/AZH#1 Aug'07, BFN (6 usable eggs, 5 embies, 2 transferred, 1st beta=18, 2nd beta=12, 0 made it to blast to freeze)
IVF/ICSI#2:retrieval Nov'07 (w/ fresh TESA), FET sched Jan'08, no embryos to transfer (23 usable eggs, 12 embies, 0 made it to transfer)
IVF/ICSI#3: retrieval Mar'08, FET May'08, BFN (13 usable eggs, 7 fertilized w/ DH sperm= 0 blasts, 6 fertlized w/ DS=3 blasts, all 3 transferred, 1st beta=74, 2nd beta=64, 3rd beta=42)
1st cycle IUI/clomid/donor sperm postponed due to lack of follicular growth on 100mg clomidx5days.

ana

mom to beautiful baby lia.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2008
Tue, 11-04-2008 - 1:37pm
(((((((((HUGS)))))))))) Angela.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2008
Tue, 11-04-2008 - 1:42pm

Thanks for understanding Ana.

 

Angela

Me 32, C 34. Toge

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2008
Tue, 11-04-2008 - 1:44pm
Thanks Jess.

 

Angela

Me 32, C 34. Toge

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2008
Tue, 11-04-2008 - 2:18pm

GRRRRR.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2008
Tue, 11-04-2008 - 2:21pm
(((HUGS))) Angela, maybe this mean we all need to go out and get drunk.
  

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2008
Tue, 11-04-2008 - 2:30pm
DH keeps telling me that we need to be irresposible and drunk to make a kid.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2008
Tue, 11-04-2008 - 2:38pm

Thanks Terri...I am sorry you have to see that happening with a friend of yours, the poor kids,...I knew you would understand though.

 

Angela

Me 32, C 34. Toge

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2008
Tue, 11-04-2008 - 2:41pm
Great idea Susan!

 

Angela

Me 32, C 34. Toge

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2008
Tue, 11-04-2008 - 2:48pm

LOL.

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