are we doing the right thing?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2008
are we doing the right thing?
Mon, 03-02-2009 - 6:20pm

Hello all!

It's been a while since I have been on... I have been dealing with the results of the 2nd HSG and it was confirmed that my tubes are blocked for sure-

So, today we met with the person that discusses the financial part of IVF and I left there feeling so overwhelmed that I thought I was going to throw up!  Now I keep wondering are doing the right thing?  Maybe we should just forget about having children, the cost is so overwhelming and what if it doesn't work?  Do I really even want to be a mother if I have to keep jumping through hoops? 

It wasn't ever supposed to be like this and now I am second guessing myself. We were supposed to get married and then just get preggers-  Now I worry about the financial burden this may have on DH and I~  It's one thing to just get knocked up and be broke-  it's another to become broke just trying to get knocked up!

I simply don't know what to do... DH wants a biological child and I am starting to think that perhaps we are not meant to be parents-  it's all just too much!        



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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2008
Mon, 03-02-2009 - 7:40pm

Melinda (((HUGS)))

It might be time to just give it time and just think about it.



iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2009
Mon, 03-02-2009 - 7:44pm

You're right, it wasn't supposed to be like this.

After struggling with infertility, we welcomed our son Noah on March 18, 2010! Formerly a teacher, I am now a breastfeeding, babywearing, stay at home Mom, and I couldn't love it any more!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2008
Tue, 03-03-2009 - 8:37am

Hi Melinda!

I can completely understand your position.


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2008
Tue, 03-03-2009 - 9:04am

Hi Melinda,

Big Hugs! I have thought many times in this journey that God was trying to tell me that I shouldn't be a mother. Or that I should be doing something else. (ie. adoption) Only you know what you are willing to do emotionally and financially to become a parent and I hope that you come to that decision. I think it just absolutely sucks that money has to be such a big factor in this. If it wasn't, DH and I would have adopted last year. We probably would've continued ttc but I would love to adopt too.

Keep in touch with us and let us know how things go for you. Sorry about the bad news on the hsg.


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2008
Tue, 03-03-2009 - 10:15am


(((HUGS))), sorry to hear that your tubes are blocked.



Me 32, C 34. Toge

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2008
Tue, 03-03-2009 - 11:24am

Thanks so much for all your support!


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2006
Tue, 03-03-2009 - 1:12pm

(((HUGGSSS))) Melinda.

I am sorry about the news. This is not an easy journey. Its very over whelming I know. And its so expensive which doesnt help. I wish it didnt have to be this way for us. It should be easy. Making babies is supposed to be easy. Maybe stepping back for a bit would help you to decompress and recharge you batteries. Its what I have done in the past when it was getting to me. I just took a bit of time off and when I was ready I hit the ground running and ready again.

Youve gotten this far and worked so hard I wouldnt give up just yet. Ill be here to cheer you on and please vent away! My ear is here when ever you need it!


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2008
Tue, 03-03-2009 - 10:18pm

Melinda, I'm sorry about your hsg results.