Been MIA (long)
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|Tue, 12-01-2009 - 3:53pm|
Sorry that I have been MIA lately. I have been checking up on everyone and congrats on all of you who have gotten their BFP and BIG HUGS to those who have not. I am just having a hard time dealing with everything going on right now. My first 2 IUI attempts have failed, I had one cycle that I didn't ovulate and this month I got a positive ovulation test on Thanksgiving and our lab was closed for the holiday weekend so we missed out on another IUI this month. We did alot of BD this month, but I still don't have high hopes for this cycle. It's been almost 9 years since we started TTC and I am starting to wear down.
I just wish there was a button you could push to make these feelings of wanting a child so badly go away. We have started to look into adoption a little bit, but I am just not sure if I want to take that next step yet. I feel like if we adopt, I am giving up on having a bio child. We have also discussed IVF, but DH or I aren't really comfortable with it right now.
I have a very adorable 10 month old nephew that we hardly ever get to see even though we live in the same town. Last Tuesday, my MIL was babysitting him so we went over to see him. I was on the floor playing with him and my SIL comes in. He crawled up on my lap to get a better view of who was coming in the door. Well SIL comes in, grabs him off my lap and says "Sorry to be rude, I know you don't get to see him very often, but it's more important that he sees mommy." She is with him 24/7 and he was only at my MIL for 2 hours. It wouldn't have bothered me for her to grab him and hug and kiss him, but she doesn't have to make the smart remarks. She makes smart remarks to me all the time under her breath. I told DH about them, but he finally heard that one and finally believes me. So now we are polite to each other when we have to be but no longer on speaking terms. The ONLY reason I am being civil is because SIL will use my nephew as a weapon against me and then we wouldn't be able to see him at all! But according to DH's family, anytime there is a problem, its my fault because I am jealous and its because of the baby thing and I just need to get over it. They just don't understand the situation and are always trying to give us advice.
Sorry for the long vent. I just had to get it all out!