Come on! (long vent)
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|Mon, 03-02-2009 - 10:28am|
So yesterday I went to visit a friend that had a baby, we were pregnant at the same time. She had the baby 4 weeks ago and mine was due 2 weeks after hers. I fell apart at her shower but was feeling good now and was ready for a visit. I went with another friend. 2 seconds after I picked up that other friend to come with me she turns to me to tell me â€œI have scoop!â€ and being one to be game to hear the latest in gossip I said â€œOhhhh what is it!â€ a little distraction was a good idea. I thought this was her plan, but no she says â€œIâ€™m pregnant! No Im just joking! Ha ha ha! Sara is pregnant! I wanted to tell you so your not surprised later if you over hear a conversation.â€ And then she proceeds to tell me how Saraâ€™s husband isnâ€™t ready and already complaining and we start talking about that. Now Sara isnâ€™t a friend of mine rather a former friend (used to be best friend) that I and my husband no longer speak to. We donâ€™t like her, and hate her husband but we are in the same group of friends so sometimes we end up in the same place together. Now why would you tell me this right before the visit? What donâ€™t you have any brains! Why would that piece of info be interesting to me. Why would I need to know? You know I wont be happy for her. Why are you telling me about another person getting pregnant before me? I just told her I was having a rough week earlier. I was able to brush it off eventually (I am getting good at burying hurt feelings).
The visit went well. I got to hold the baby most of the time which I loved and I feed him. He so quite and what a cutie pie! She is so lucky. She got BFP right away. They didnâ€™t have to try very hard at all.
I felt so empty when we left. Like I was leaving something behind or forgot something. I wasnâ€™t expecting to feel that way. DH is sick so I got home and he was in bed. I was all alone and Sara being pregnant kept popping in my head. Another one thatâ€™s didnâ€™t have to try hardâ€¦.. I am afraid I will snap and lose it. My freind really shouldnt have told me. I didnâ€™t need to know another person got BFP before me again. Ive been with DH for 15 years this month and some of the people I know with babies have been together for 3 years. I try to stay positive, I do. Its so hard to when everyone around you gets it so easy and I have to take Provera just to AF! Stupid body!
ITS NOT FAIR! ITS NOT FAIR! ITS NOT FAIR!
DH 34 and me 36 Weâ€™ve been together 15 years married Sep 2004. TTC our first since Dec 2004.
Conceived using Provera and Clomid - MC April 03 2006
Conceived naturally surprise! - MC July 07 2008
Found out I have MTHFR and Factor V Lieden so I will be a high risk pregnancy and have to inject myself every day with Fragmin.
God please just give me 1 healthy baby please!