depressing day

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2009
depressing day
5
Sat, 08-14-2010 - 7:11pm

So today I found out a friend just gave birth.  This is her SECOND birth in the time we've been ttc (she was early in her 2nd trimester when we started).  I cried my eyes out.  That probably makes the 6th kid among my friends that were not only conceived but also born during our time ttc.  It makes me so sad to think that a process that takes 10 months has been completed several times while we have nothing and may never have anything.  And then this same friend who just gave birth claims she knows what I feel like to be IF b/c her first pg she took Clomid to ovulate, but in total she had only spent 7 months ttc for the first pg w/ only 2 cycles on Clomid/BD.  She never even came close to having somebody conceive then give birth before she conceived let alone have someone give birth twice!


I'm just so sad and a little bit angry at everyone who doesn't understand.


Thanks for the vent.

Tamar


TTC since Feb '09


Unexplained Infertility: SA Sept '09 ok slightly low vol, but not enough to cause IF; B/W Feb '10 ok, HSG Feb '10 ok; Lap Mar '10 - mild endo on outside of right tube/uterus removed but not considered enough to cause IF


July '10 - IUI #1 w/ 50mg Clomid, prometrium / 2 follies on R = BFN


August '10 - IUI #2 w/ 50mg Clomid, prometrium / 1 follie on R

Tamar

TTC #1 since Feb '09 with Unexplained Infertility: SA's all ok; b/w and HSG ok; Lap Mar '10 - mild endo on outside of right tube/uterus removed but not considered eno

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2007
Tue, 08-17-2010 - 1:53pm

((HUGS))


I struggle with this. One part of me is truly happy for my friends who conceive and have babies, but another part of me (sometimes a much larger part) is so jealous and upset. It's almost like it's a slap in the face each time it happens...not that they intend it to be of course, but man it still hurts.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2006
Mon, 08-16-2010 - 10:32am

I totally understand. I have been trying since 2006 and many babies have been born during that time. It is sad and I always have a heavy heart for awhile until I absorb it. Your feelings are totally justified and it is hard when people try to relate to you but can't really. I have friends who have gone through or are going through infertility so it does help me. One friend is due in January and had years of treatments and finally got pregnant on her 3rd IVF after having surgery. She is one person who I was totally happy for because of all her struggles.

You will get there! Don't give up even though I know it is tempting sometimes.

Christy
TTC 1st child since 2006
June 16, 2010: IUI w/ Femara BFP (Ectopic - Methotrexate shot) RE sidelined me until November cycle for next IUI :(

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2009
Sat, 08-14-2010 - 9:53pm


Tamar, I'm so sorry you are faced with this unwanted milestone. It is so hard, and it really adds insult to injury when someone who conceived not once but twice says she knows how you feel. After I had my tube surgery and was dealing with fear and discomfort, a "friend" of mine said she understands because she had tearing during one of her births. I'm sure that hurts like hell, but I didn't see how it really meant anything in terms of my fears that the tube surgery didn't work and the constant reminder via post-surgery pain that I still might have trouble getting pg. It amazes me what ridiculous, uncaring things people say- I'm sorry you had to hear it. I'm even sorrier you are having such a tough time with it. I know that pg announcements and birth announcements set me off.

I hope you wake up feeling a little less sad, and that it gets better for you soon. I know the sadness doesn't go away- that's the worst thing about TTC w/IF. Some days are better than others, but every day has a feeling of sadness or unease or anxiety. Not a normal, or good way to live.

Hugs to you.

Andrea

Lilypie Maternity tickers


May Baby

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2009
Sat, 08-14-2010 - 9:30pm

Dixie - Thanks for your reply and sympathy.

Tamar

TTC #1 since Feb '09 with Unexplained Infertility: SA's all ok; b/w and HSG ok; Lap Mar '10 - mild endo on outside of right tube/uterus removed but not considered eno

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2010
Sat, 08-14-2010 - 7:31pm

Oh hun I am so sorry. I know what it is like to dread getting the news about someone having yet another baby while you are doing everything shy of standing on your head to conceive even one. (And I am sure if we were told standing on our head would work we would do it). I dreaded when the two ladies at my job went into labor. It was so awkward to feel SO sad that day when everyone else was happy and excited. Those were the days I just went home and cried.


Hopefully soon enough you will get to share in that joy. The best part is you will be able to be the hope for us all. You will actually understand the struggles of IF and be our mascot for hope.

Dixie


"Even miracles take a little time." ~ Fairy Godmother: Cinderella


M/C November 2009


Metformin December 2009


Clomid #1 50mg April 2010 = no O :-(


Clomid #2 100mg May 2010 = BFN


Clomid #3 150mg July 2010 = BFN


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Dixie


"Even miracles take a little time." ~ Fairy Godmother: Cinderella