Don't know how to be hopeful

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2008
Don't know how to be hopeful
6
Sat, 11-01-2008 - 7:33pm

Hey ladies. So I have decided that I am giong to go ahead and do another round of clomid on a higher dose. I Have gotten it through an onlilne pharmacy since it is a little cheaper that way but im not sure when it will come so i have to wait to take my provera. I was really hoping to have a baby belly for christmas but at this point it doesnt look like that is going to happen. After three years of not being able to get pregnant and dozens upon dozens of BFN's I don't know how to keep hope anymore. I try to be hopeful through it all andh ope that I am pregnant but then I see just that one line and its a huge disappointment. I dont know if its easier to just tell myself that it isnt going to happen and come to terms with that and if it does then i have my miracle but I really dont know how much longer i can put myself through this! All the tests and hormones and disappointment while every single person around me has their own family. I just dont know what to do anymore......


 


 


ps. sorry i left the chat the other night and didnt make it back. my browser wouldnt let me do anything else with the chat up and by the time i found what i needed online everyone had already left.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2008
Sat, 11-01-2008 - 8:42pm

Hi Heather,

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2008
Sat, 11-01-2008 - 8:53pm

Heather, this is such a hard process!!! (((HUGS)))

  

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2008
Sat, 11-01-2008 - 9:49pm

Heather,


Hang in there.

 

Angela

Me 32, C 34. Toge

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2008
Sun, 11-02-2008 - 1:09pm

Hi Heather,


We can all related to the month after month of disappointments relating to IF.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2008
Sun, 11-02-2008 - 2:37pm

hi there,

IF is awful, isn't it? (((((hugs))))) i find myself continually trapped between feeling hopeless that this can ever happen and needing to feel some hope in order to continue. i feel like i'm usually hopeless, and yet must have some hope somewhere inside me or else i wouldn't spend the money, time, and agony for treatment. we're all here for you.

ana


TTC since Sept '06. Diagnosed w/ PCOS, DH diagnosed with azoospermia Dec '06, TESA Mar '07
IVF/ICSI/AZH#1 Aug'07, BFN (6 usable eggs, 5 embies, 2 transferred, 1st beta=18, 2nd beta=12, 0 made it to blast to freeze)
IVF/ICSI#2:retrieval Nov'07 (w/ fresh TESA), FET sched Jan'08, no embryos to transfer (23 usable eggs, 12 embies, 0 made it to transfer)
IVF/ICSI#3: retrieval Mar'08, FET May'08, BFN (13 usable eggs, 7 fertilized w/ DH sperm= 0 blasts, 6 fertlized w/ DS=3 blasts, all 3 transferred, 1st beta=74, 2nd beta=64, 3rd beta=42)
1st cycle IUI/clomid/donor sperm postponed due to lack of follicular growth on 100mg clomidx5days.

ana

mom to beautiful baby lia.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2008
Mon, 11-03-2008 - 1:05am
Thank you for all the hugs and support. You ladies are amazing and have been such a help to me. The last couple nights I have been pretty down about all this IF stuff. I have a baby blanket that was handmade for me when I was little and I want to pass it onto my baby and I have found myself pulling it out of the closet and laying with it and sleeping with it. kinda sad i know but it somehow seems to make me feel at least a little hope sometimes. DH is ok with it just being us right now but he does want to start a family but he is a very carefree person and keeps saying it will happen when it happens so he