extra hugs needed today...

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2008
extra hugs needed today...
19
Tue, 10-28-2008 - 9:13am

 My BF from college is 4 months PG, and she is finding out today what they are having. They go to my doctor, so my BF and her DH will be literally around the corner and they want me to meet them for lunch.


I love her dearly...she was my best friend in college and the years after, but it's still hard. What makes it harder is that she keeps telling me she knows what it's like to be IF, when really she doesnt...she just didn't get PG the second she tried. Her husband was, um, "emotionally stunted" and couldn't, uh...finish the job. It took him 9 months to overcome his...shortcomings, and when he did, BAM! The first time he finished, she was PG. He loves to tell people, "OH it took us 14 months! It was SO HARD!" When I want to scream at him that he is a liar and a fraud. The only thing my BF and I have in common on this PG journey is our longing for a child. That's it. She is perfectly fertile. She doesn't need to be poked and prodded, she doesn't need medication, she doesn't know what it's like for a doctor to write "infertile" across her chart. She has no idea. And it hurts me that she uses the term "infertility" like it's this badge to covet. My DH won't even go to lunch with them anymore because he cannt stand my BF's DH babbling about how tough that year was, blahblahblah. He's afraid he's going to deck him.


I am just going to meet them at Panera Bread and grab a coffee and say I am busy. I am tired today already of torturing myself.


Anyway, I need to get moving. It's 9am and I finally dragged myself out of bed and I've got so much to do. I love you ladies :) Thank you for being here.


 


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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2008
Tue, 10-28-2008 - 9:37am

Huge (((((((((Hugs))))))))))


Been there, I have a co-worker that tried for

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2008
Tue, 10-28-2008 - 10:50am

kristy lee,

sending lots of (((((hugs))))) your way! it is so hard to have someone so close to you have what you are so desperate for (even if you're happy for her!). just a warning: it was really difficult, much more than expected, to see my friend when she was 6mos pg. something about seeing it just devastated me. hopefully your meeting will be much smoother. and you're totally right, they have NO IDEA what difficult is! let us know how it goes, i'll be thinking about you...

ana


TTC since Sept '06. Diagnosed w/ PCOS, DH diagnosed with azoospermia Dec '06, TESA Mar '07
IVF/ICSI/AZH#1 Aug'07, BFN (6 usable eggs, 5 embies, 2 transferred, 1st beta=18, 2nd beta=12, 0 made it to blast to freeze)
IVF/ICSI#2:retrieval Nov'07 (w/ fresh TESA), FET sched Jan'08, no embryos to transfer (23 usable eggs, 12 embies, 0 made it to transfer)
IVF/ICSI#3: retrieval Mar'08, FET May'08, BFN (13 usable eggs, 7 fertilized w/ DH sperm= 0 blasts, 6 fertlized w/ DS=3 blasts, all 3 transferred, 1st beta=74, 2nd beta=64, 3rd beta=42)
1st cycle IUI/clomid/donor sperm postponed due to lack of follicular growth on 100mg clomidx5days.

ana

mom to beautiful baby lia.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2008
Tue, 10-28-2008 - 11:57am
( ( ( ( H U G S ) ) ) ) I think you have the right idea. Just meet them really quick and then leave. I don't like it when people who have only tried for 1 or two months say they are IF. And have been trying for so long. AAARRRGGGG! Wishing you P&PT and many hugs for today! It's 10 here now and I just got my lazy butt out of bed.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2008
Tue, 10-28-2008 - 12:31pm
(((HUGS)))
  

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2008
Tue, 10-28-2008 - 1:01pm

Hi Kristy:


Good luck to you!

Franklin and Callan

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2008
Tue, 10-28-2008 - 2:50pm

Thank for your positive thoughts, ladies!


DH and I had a long talk this morning, which made me feel alot better. I then went to my mom's for coffee and hot muffins she just made, and my BF texted me saying the baby is a boy. I could tell she was seriously upset...she wanted a girl so badly that she actually went out and bought dresses and pink stuff! She said that they were still at the doc and that after they wanted to go to a regular restuarant instead for lunch. I already had errands to run, so I told her I couldn't meet them. I honestly only had time for a cup of coffee somewhere and then to leave because I teach this afternoon. Oh well. I just couldn't believe she was upset over her own child. I didn't want to be around that kind of energy, anyway.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2008
Tue, 10-28-2008 - 3:00pm
She will get over it though. When I found I was having twins I wanted two girls so bad! But when I found out they were boys I was a little dissapointed but very soon was just as excited to be having boys. Now I want a boy and a girl so I will be happy with either.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2008
Tue, 10-28-2008 - 3:03pm

*Hugs* Kristy. It's infurriating when people can't appreciate what they have! I have a student who just had a baby brother and the parents are mad that it's a third boy. On the opposite side, I have another student who has a baby sister due in January and her parents are VERY upset that it's third girl! It irks me to death!! JUST APPRECIATE WHAT YOU HAVE PEOPLE!!!!


Anyway, I'm glad to hear things worked out for today. *hugs*

Erin & Ryan Sig
Erin & Ryan Sig
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2003
Tue, 10-28-2008 - 3:11pm

(((Hugs)))

That's really irritating! I think the other poster summed it up really well: they are mislabeling their diagnosis. It sounds like they did go through a lot to get a child, though I wouldn't call it infertility.

I'm sorry that you are hurting. I hope it will be your turn soon!

Em

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-05-2008
Tue, 10-28-2008 - 3:25pm
Oh My ARGGGGGGG! As if IF is something to brag about. I thought the same thing the other day when I was watching an episode of Scrubs and the one nurse was like "I've been trying for 2 months and I'm still not pg" I said O BOO HOO! try 18 months!!! I'm sorry your own BF put you through that.

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