Feeling so down...

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2004
Feeling so down...
14
Thu, 10-22-2009 - 9:09am

We are in the process of getting everything in order for our move, and we have decieded to try for IVF in the new city which is only 2 hours away from here. My experience today has just made me so frustrated and down and just feeling helpless with everything.

First you need to understand our insurance, first you need to make an appointment with a primary care physician, then get a referal, then go see the insurance company who gives you a paper and schedules your fist appointment with the RE. I did all this for my previous RE, not so hard. Well now that we are moving they have no idea what to do.

We went into our appt. and the lady does not even take us into the room for privacy to get all our questions answered but just starts talking to us in the waiting room in front of everyone all people I am sure do not have fertility issues since they all have baby on their lap. Why are you here, etc, etc. I tried to tell her that it was private and that is why we made the appointment to get our questions answered. I said we were moving and already have had a referral and wanted to be transfered to another Dr. in our new location, she told us she wasn't sure but thinks we would need to unroll from the insurance and to go to building 225. I asked if that means we need to do everything again like see another dr. who would have to diagnose me again and refer me again and see tricare again for the paper etc. even though we are moving only 2 hours away, and she said she thought yes because it was a PCS. I was so mad, I told her we made the appointment to get our questions answered, and she said she just didnt want us waiting if she couldnt help us! Why couldnt she call on the phone and find someone who knew the answers to our questions? We asked for the lady we normally deal with who is so nice and was told she was in a seminar and not sure when she would be out.

So we leave there and then search for building 225 which turns out to be a construction site with portable buildings. We sign in and there are about twenty people in the waiting room and one worker. We waited 30min and not one person was called from the waiting room! The worst part was they all had babies and even the men who were not with their wives or kids were talking about their babies and how big they were when they were born etc., so loud you think we were in a maternity ward or something, it was like some kind of sick joke! Finally it just got to be too much and we just left. I don't even think we were in the right place because it said to bring your flight number etc. for moving back to the U.S.

Then another lady stops us in the hall and in front of everyone wants to ask why we are here etc.,we tried to explain it vaugley and asked if we can make an appointment to have our questions answered, but no it is sign in first come first serve...

I don't even know if they will pay for my meds and labs, etc. for IVF and am wondering if all this stress and humiliation is even worth it and talked to dh about just paying it ourselves. We are going to try again tomorrow and go first thing in the morning to get our questions answered.

Seeing all those young army wives and privates talking about their babies just made me feel so down. They were so young and probably didn't even try to get pregnant. And they have no idea why I was in there while they are going on and on about their babies in such close proximity. They were saying it in such crude ways too talking about the size of the baby and how it must of been so hard for their wife to push it out, etc. That on top of getting the run-around even though we made an appointment and not getting any of our questions answered was just so frustrating I just couldn't help but cry when I got home, just to the overwhelming helpless feeling.

Well if you have read so far thank you for letting me vent. All this is hard enough, but I have been dealing with it fine, but experiences like these are just pouring salt in the wound...
It is so frustrating to make an appointment in order to make an appointment which gets you another appointment, or you make the appointment for nothing because the lady sends you away for not being able to help you.

Thanks for listening, I just can't wait for this day to be over.
~Sally

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2008
Thu, 10-22-2009 - 9:44am
Oh Sally, I'm sorry you are having to deal with this mess with your insurance and PCP.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-2009
Thu, 10-22-2009 - 9:49am
Hugs Sally! That is so crappy that you were treated that way. And then to have all those babies and stories of babies around you, ugh. I hope it gets better and you can get it all straightened out. Must feel trying to move a mountain right now, just chip away at it a bit at a time.

 

Kelly

I'm 38, DH is 42 and we are TTC #1. We've had 3 unexplained miscarriages and a bout with Asherman's Syndrome but we're determined.

BFP #4! - 1/
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2005
Thu, 10-22-2009 - 10:09am

I'm so sorry, Sally!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2006
Thu, 10-22-2009 - 10:24am

Sally,


Big hugs to you.


What an ordeal to go thru just to make an appointment. You would think someone would have thought of a better way by now. Making an appointment to make another appointment is such a waste of everyone's time (yours, the doctors, etc).


I can't believe they were talking to you in front of everyone that is just WRONG. It is none of anyone else's business why you are there.


Then on top of all that having to deal with others talking about babies...ugghh, I would have walked out of there too.


I hope things go better next time & you get the answers you need.


Nat


Pregnancy%20ticker
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2004
Thu, 10-22-2009 - 12:51pm
Sorry that it is so hard:( What part of Germany are you moving to now? We have decided to wait for anything until we PCS back to the US in May..I am just not comfortable with doing it here for my own reasons.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2009
Thu, 10-22-2009 - 3:35pm

((hugs)) So sorry for the rough day/week. It was a bit humurous to me when you said how they asked you right out in the open what you were there for. I had to chuckle because that happened to me. The lady yelled " Lori? what are you here for?" I was like a deer in the headlights...uhhh. She must of got the hint and then said oh I have it right here." Thanks lady, for not making me announce my infertility issues in front of this whole damn waiting room. I'm sending positive thoughts and a little laughter your way. I know it's hard but people aren't all that smart sometimes. Don't let this

 Lori


 


DH and I are 33yrs old. TTC #1 since May08| July09- Dx POF|  Aug09- started Premarin, Metformin, and Lupron

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2004
Thu, 10-22-2009 - 5:54pm

I am so sorry that you had a rough time this morning.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2009
Fri, 10-23-2009 - 8:46am
Ohhh, HUGS Sally.
After struggling with infertility, we welcomed our son Noah on March 18, 2010! Formerly a teacher, I am now a breastfeeding, babywearing, stay at home Mom, and I couldn't love it any more!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2004
Fri, 10-23-2009 - 9:42am
Thank you so much for all the support!
Today went sooooo much better. We found out we only have to do a transfer of insurance to our new location in Heidelberg, Germany and go to a new referal appointment to get the referal to our new dr. The good news is I won't have to go to another inital appointment with a primary care provider-thank God! It would just be so frustrating and humiliating to have to get another diagnosis from a primary dr., meaning have to tell the lady making the appointment what is wrong with me, telling the nurse who first sees you, and then again telling the dr. and having to go through all those questions again. So for that I am very grateful. We also already made our first appointment with our new Dr. It will be Monday November 16th!
We aren't sure all that our insurance will cover, but at least the appointments and b/w and u/s will all be covered.
Thanks again everyone for letting me vent yesterday:-)
Hugs back,
Sally
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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2006
Fri, 10-23-2009 - 9:51am

Sally,


I am so happy that today went better for you.


Hopefully November 16th gets here really quickly so you & DH can move forward

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