Feeling so down...

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2004
Feeling so down...
Thu, 10-22-2009 - 9:09am

We are in the process of getting everything in order for our move, and we have decieded to try for IVF in the new city which is only 2 hours away from here. My experience today has just made me so frustrated and down and just feeling helpless with everything.

First you need to understand our insurance, first you need to make an appointment with a primary care physician, then get a referal, then go see the insurance company who gives you a paper and schedules your fist appointment with the RE. I did all this for my previous RE, not so hard. Well now that we are moving they have no idea what to do.

We went into our appt. and the lady does not even take us into the room for privacy to get all our questions answered but just starts talking to us in the waiting room in front of everyone all people I am sure do not have fertility issues since they all have baby on their lap. Why are you here, etc, etc. I tried to tell her that it was private and that is why we made the appointment to get our questions answered. I said we were moving and already have had a referral and wanted to be transfered to another Dr. in our new location, she told us she wasn't sure but thinks we would need to unroll from the insurance and to go to building 225. I asked if that means we need to do everything again like see another dr. who would have to diagnose me again and refer me again and see tricare again for the paper etc. even though we are moving only 2 hours away, and she said she thought yes because it was a PCS. I was so mad, I told her we made the appointment to get our questions answered, and she said she just didnt want us waiting if she couldnt help us! Why couldnt she call on the phone and find someone who knew the answers to our questions? We asked for the lady we normally deal with who is so nice and was told she was in a seminar and not sure when she would be out.

So we leave there and then search for building 225 which turns out to be a construction site with portable buildings. We sign in and there are about twenty people in the waiting room and one worker. We waited 30min and not one person was called from the waiting room! The worst part was they all had babies and even the men who were not with their wives or kids were talking about their babies and how big they were when they were born etc., so loud you think we were in a maternity ward or something, it was like some kind of sick joke! Finally it just got to be too much and we just left. I don't even think we were in the right place because it said to bring your flight number etc. for moving back to the U.S.

Then another lady stops us in the hall and in front of everyone wants to ask why we are here etc.,we tried to explain it vaugley and asked if we can make an appointment to have our questions answered, but no it is sign in first come first serve...

I don't even know if they will pay for my meds and labs, etc. for IVF and am wondering if all this stress and humiliation is even worth it and talked to dh about just paying it ourselves. We are going to try again tomorrow and go first thing in the morning to get our questions answered.

Seeing all those young army wives and privates talking about their babies just made me feel so down. They were so young and probably didn't even try to get pregnant. And they have no idea why I was in there while they are going on and on about their babies in such close proximity. They were saying it in such crude ways too talking about the size of the baby and how it must of been so hard for their wife to push it out, etc. That on top of getting the run-around even though we made an appointment and not getting any of our questions answered was just so frustrating I just couldn't help but cry when I got home, just to the overwhelming helpless feeling.

Well if you have read so far thank you for letting me vent. All this is hard enough, but I have been dealing with it fine, but experiences like these are just pouring salt in the wound...
It is so frustrating to make an appointment in order to make an appointment which gets you another appointment, or you make the appointment for nothing because the lady sends you away for not being able to help you.

Thanks for listening, I just can't wait for this day to be over.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2005
Fri, 10-23-2009 - 11:09am
So glad today went MUCH better!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2008
Fri, 10-23-2009 - 11:42am
I'm glad to hear you were able to get everything sorted out and without the frustration


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2004
Fri, 10-23-2009 - 8:41pm
Hi Sally, I am so happy to hear that everything went MUCH better today = ) Lots of speedy vibes for Nov 16th to get here quickly.....


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2008
Mon, 10-26-2009 - 9:52am

Hi Sally,

I know I am late on this but still wanted to send you big HUGS and hope that things start to turn around for you.