Having a sad/frustrated moment

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2010
Having a sad/frustrated moment
8
Wed, 04-21-2010 - 7:41pm

So I just learned today that my sister in law is pregnant.


Now of course that holds the sadness that she is expecting and I cannot conceive yet, but it goes SO much deeper then that. My sister in law (although older then me) acts as if she is 15. She has no sense of responsibility, no steady job, basically no income, lives rent free in a house owned my other sister in laws boyfriend and is on federal assistance. She has been dating this man since her mother passed away and everyone in the family (my DH included) believes she is just dating him so she will not be alone. He is not good for her, leaves her home alone all the time and goes out spending money they don't have and there is just something about him no one trusts.


Well she is afraid he is going to leave her so she decided to just randomly stop taking her BC and try to get pregnant. My DH told me her plan was to get pregnant so that this awful boyfriend will be forced to stay. And now she is! For all the wrong reasons!! She is going to bring a baby into this very VERY unstable situation just so that her boyfriend will stick around. Aside from the fact that I have to watch her be pregnant she is going to start asking for hand outs. And my DH is going to feel obligated to give it to her because she is pregnant. While fortunately enough we are financially in a better position than his sister we do not have enough money to support her and a baby and that ridiculous boyfriend.


It makes me so frustrated and upset that someone like her magically after only a few months (I think 3 all together) can get pregnant and here me and my DH are doing everything right (or trying to) and cannot get pregnant. I know this is true for all of you wonderful women but I am just having a really hard time coping with this particular news. No one in his family knows about the IF issues we are having (and no one in that family EVER will) and so it makes it even worse.


Bleh thank you guys for letting me vent a little. I am just so upset about this news but I hate to talk to my DH about it since it is his family in the end and he does love them. No matter how crazy they are.

Dixie


M/C November 2009


Metformin December 2009


Clomid #1 April 2010

Dixie

"Even miracles take a little time." ~ Fairy Godmother: Cinderella

TTC since April 2009

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2008
Wed, 04-21-2010 - 8:03pm

Oh Dixie, I'm so sorry you got news today


Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2009
Wed, 04-21-2010 - 9:43pm


Dixie, that just plain sucks. I can hardly go on facebook because of fear that another person will be making a pg announcement, and I anticipate that my sil will be trying (and succeeding) soon too so I worry about that. But for it to be someone who is having a baby for selfish, manipulative reasons just adds insult to injury. I'm really sorry you are going through this, but just focus on how much your baby will mean to you- babies are already such incredible blessings, but women that struggle to get their babies probably understand the enormity of that miracle a little bit more. Hang in there. Lots of hugs!

Andrea

Lilypie Maternity tickers


May Baby

<
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-2009
Thu, 04-22-2010 - 1:49pm
Vent away Dixie, that plain stinks! How is it fair that someone essentially tricks someone into getting them pregnant and it happens so easily when you're still struggling? It's just not. Many hugs!

 

Kelly

I'm 38, DH is 42 and we are TTC #1. We've had 3 unexplained miscarriages and a bout with Asherman's Syndrome but we're determined.

BFP #4! - 1/
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2010
Thu, 04-22-2010 - 8:57pm

Thanks Grace, it is so nice to be able to vent here and not feel guilty. It is so frustrating that she is in fact pregnant and that me and everyone else here who has not yet been blessed is not.


Thanks so much for letting me let it all out!

Dixie


M/C November 2009


Metformin December 2009


Clomid #1 April 2010

Dixie

"Even miracles take a little time." ~ Fairy Godmother: Cinderella

TTC since April 2009

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2010
Thu, 04-22-2010 - 8:59pm

I know what you mean about facebook Andrea. I get a little paniced every time I see this woman at work who is only weeks away from giving birth. She does not know my troubles and so I am always scared I will burst into tears in front of her.


Thanks so much for your support, you guys lift me up so much more then you probably realize. I cannot thank you enough.

Dixie


M/C November 2009


Metformin December 2009


Clomid #1 April 2010

Dixie

"Even miracles take a little time." ~ Fairy Godmother: Cinderella

TTC since April 2009

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2010
Thu, 04-22-2010 - 9:01pm

The fact she got pregnant is more then frustrating but today I am doing a little better. I think the worst thing is this poor baby she will bring into the world......I guess God has a bigger plan with that then I can see.


Thanks so much for your supportive words. I appreciate so much all you guys share and say.

Dixie


M/C November 2009


Metformin December 2009


Clomid #1 April 2010

Dixie

"Even miracles take a little time." ~ Fairy Godmother: Cinderella

TTC since April 2009

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2007
Fri, 04-23-2010 - 9:39am

Hi Dixie,

I understand! Well, not the part about it being my SIL, or a close relative, but it is so frustrating that we do everything right and still can't get our BFP. I was just reading a news article yesterday that says over half of all pregnancies are unplanned. What!? We are trying to plan it, BD at the right times, take care of our bodies, and everything else but it still doesn't work. AF is showing up for me right about now so it is extra hard :( It makes me so angry and it is unfair. I just have to try to keep faith and understand my BFP is out there someday...And yours will be too!

Kathleen



Kathleen - TTC #1 since September 2006 (Me - 31, DH - 32). Always remembering our 3 angels.


January 2008 - Chemical P/G, April 2008 - M/C at about 7 weeks, June 2008 - Blighted Ovum


May 2009 - diagnosed Low Protein S and Hetero MTHFR - Baby aspirin, Lovenex

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2010
Sun, 04-25-2010 - 11:30am
Thanks so much Kathleen. I know it is difficult for all of us ladies here. I felt almost like my SIL selfish and stupid actions was an offense to us all. But today is a better day, at least for now so I choose to look at the positive too. A lot of my ability to be positive is because of you guys and I cannot thank you enough for the way you lift me up!

Dixie


M/C November 2009


Metformin December 2009


Clomid #1 April 2010

Dixie

"Even miracles take a little time." ~ Fairy Godmother: Cinderella

TTC since April 2009