Horrible...horrible

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
Horrible...horrible
10
Sun, 03-06-2011 - 5:09pm

I just need to get this off my chest and I am not sure how else to do it. Here is what happened: Friday we got our first negative preg. test for IVF #1. I was disappointed but ok because I have 3 other blasts in the freezer. However I lost it competely when they told me I have to do the whole IVF cycle all over again from start to finish because of a law they are about to pass in our state. I am a teacher and they are going to take away our collective barganing rights which will affect our ability to bargain for our healthcare cost and coverage. We will be paying much more as a premium and it is a distinct possibility that we will lose the infertility coverage we have now. I only make a $30,000 a year and cannot afford IVF without some kind of coverage. I know this is insignigicant to anyone who is paying compeltely out of pocket for their IF treatments but I am scared that without our coverage we aren't ever going to have kids. We would probably have to stop treatment completely once the bill goes into effect. I was disappointed that IVF #1 did not work...I am just beside myself that I have to do this all over again. I was expecting to do a FET first. Politics=BLAH!

To vent just a bit more...my little sister just had baby #2 (adorable) 2 weeks ago (i'm happy for her and he's so cute) but she is driving me crazy. All she talks about is her kids ( and I LOVE both of them) but I am tired of hearing about it while we go through all of this. I know I am overly sensitive, especially considering the news we got friday with our failed IVF#1 but she was complaing about getting my niece some chocolate milk while on the phone with me. She said. "You are so lucky you don't have to get any chocolate milk." (I know she was just venting, but this was less than 24 hours after my negative test, which I told her about) I just replied, "Lucky, yea." and got off the phone asap. Then lost it. I know its me and I know I will be fine and shouldn't let stuff like that get to me but AHHHHHHHHHHH. I just want to cry and scream for all the things I have been through and all the stuff the new IVF cycle is going to bring. ITS NOT FAIR (Yes, I know we all feel this way and I think it makes me sound like I am 5 years old, but that is how I feel today, its not fair.

My DH has been incredibly su;pportive. He spent the whole weekend with me and allowed me to redo out bathroom and bedrooms this weekend. I changed the fiurniture, fixtures, linens etc. and now it feels like a new house. He's great. I really should look at all the great things I have and I do have a lot. I love my husband, my dog (Lola), my house, my job...etc. I konw I have a lot to be happy...and I need to stay focused on that...boy is it hard. AF arrived this morning so I call the RE tomorrow to start all over again.....here goes nothin'........

-Shelby

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2010
Sun, 03-06-2011 - 6:14pm

I am so sorry for your negative and for the insurance changes!

I know you love your sister, but you have to tell her that comments like that are out of line. It's one thing when I hear people complain about their kids, but this is someone who knows what you're going through!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2010
Sun, 03-06-2011 - 6:59pm
Shelby,

I am so sorry for the negative test results and the stress that your insurance is causing you. The financial aspect of IF is so unfair...

I hope that you are able to meet with the RE and discuss where to go from here, and I hope that whichever path you take next, it leads to your BFP!

Kelly
Kelly (31) DH (32) TTC Since June 2009 August 2007 - Myomectomy - removed large fibroid on back of uterus January 2010 - HSG reveals "possible" blocked left tube March 2010 - First RE visit (PCOS secondary to CAH diagnosed) April 2010 - October 2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2004
Sun, 03-06-2011 - 7:53pm
((HUGS)) Shelby, the financial part of IF is completely unfair. It shouldn't be a choice between money or baby, so wrong.

I agree that you need to tell your sister that her comments are hurtful, even if she doesn't mean it to be that way.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2010
Mon, 03-07-2011 - 10:45am

Oh Shelby I am so sorry. IF is so frustrating and I hate the idea that laws are making it so you cannot do an FET without doing everything again. I doubt the people who are making these laws have any idea how they are affecting people like us.

As to the money part it is awful that you might loose coverage. We cannot afford IVF and our insurance pays almost nothing. I cannot imagine having started IVF and then have it yanked away. This is unfair and sometimes I think it is nice to come on here and yell about it. Us ladies understand sometimes you just have to scream and be upset.

I really hope it works out and I hope that you do not loose your coverage. You will definately be in my prayers.

Dixie

"Even miracles take a little time." ~ Fairy Godmother: Cinderella

TTC since April 2009

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2005
Mon, 03-07-2011 - 2:30pm

Shelby,

I am sorry you are going through this trouble. It seems rediculous that a law would be passed that you have to go through IVF even if you have frozen embies. Have you looked into another facility outside your state that would do your FET?

Me ~ 31  DH ~ 33  TTC #1 since August 2002. Dealing with mild Endo, PCOS, D

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
Mon, 03-07-2011 - 3:19pm

The law is going to take away the

-Shelby

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2007
Tue, 03-08-2011 - 3:40pm

I'm in the same boat as you...without insurance coverage, there's no way we would be doing IVF. I wish I could be doing a cycle right now, but do to some unforeseen complications we just don't have the extra cash to pay for the copays at the moment.

Jemma (35) and DH, (37). Married October 13, 2007 and TTCing since April 2008. Dealing with PCOS, swollen tubes, and also MFI. Committing myself to getting healthy and losing weight in preparation for IVF later in 2012.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
Tue, 03-08-2011 - 4:28pm
You're right...even with coverage (and I think it sounds terrible b/c at least we have some coverage while others have none at all) it is still really expensive. Teachers, contrary to some popular belief right now don't make a lot of money...we do it because we love the job. I will never have a huge house or fancy cars...but that is my choice. It is not my choice to have the insurance taken away.....maybe the government of my state should try making $30,000.00 a year...I know they make more than that :) Sorry to vent I am just tired and frustrated.

We are starting up again on the 24th of March. They want to get the cycle done before the coverage goes away....it makes sense, but after the failed IVF I am just not in the mood. The meds all arrived today...so overwhelming, but at least I know what everything is and how it is used this time. I go in for a progesterone screening on the 24th and should start lupron that night. Good luck to all and thanks for the support!

-Shelby

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2010
Tue, 03-08-2011 - 6:24pm
Oh, Shelby!

I really hope that this IVF cycle is your ticket to your BFP!

Kelly :)
Kelly (31) DH (32) TTC Since June 2009 August 2007 - Myomectomy - removed large fibroid on back of uterus January 2010 - HSG reveals "possible" blocked left tube March 2010 - First RE visit (PCOS secondary to CAH diagnosed) April 2010 - October 2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2010
Wed, 03-09-2011 - 2:38pm

Hi Shelby - I'm a teacher too.

~ Meron born 12-09-11 after 3 1/2 years of TTC, IUIs and IVF.
~ #2 on the way(!) and due 06-06-13.