How do I deal with this?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2009
How do I deal with this?
8
Wed, 01-07-2009 - 4:39pm
Today is a bad day. I just found out that my brother and his teenage girlfriend are pregnant. Are you kidding me? Its like a slap in the face. Here I am, just turned 29, have been trying to have children for 7 years, and almost to the point of giving up. Why?
Now I realize that this has nothing to do with me, but my reaction is not a good one. How am I suppose to be supportive? Every time I find out a friend is going to have a baby, I put on the brave face, smile and offer congratulations even though my insides are in knots. This is the worst that it has ever been. I want to throw up, scream and yell, throw a tantrum.
For the first time in my life, I don't know how to handle this. I don't know if I can be brave and supportive this time and I feel so guilty for it. In all of the years, after all of the surgeries and blood tests and unpleasantness, I have been ok and optimistic, or at least tried to be. This just knocked me down. I have faith in a higher power, but these are the days that make me think I seriously made someone mad or he forgot about me completely.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2008
Wed, 01-07-2009 - 5:12pm

((((((((((HUGS))))))))))


I am sorry that you had to hear that news.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2008
Wed, 01-07-2009 - 5:57pm
(((HUGS))) that's not fair, but IF isn't fair, right? i'm sorry you got that thrown right at you. even though i'm now pg, i still get really upset when i hear about women who get pg by accident or very easily or take their kids for granted. i hope you get your miracle soon.

ana


TTC since Sept '06. Diagnosed w/ PCOS, DH diagnosed with azoospermia Dec '06, TESA Mar '07. IVF/ICSI/AZH#1 Aug'07, BFN (6 usable eggs, 5 embies, 2 transferred, 1st beta=18, 2nd beta=12, 0 made it to blast to freeze). IVF/ICSI#2:retrieval Nov'07 (w/ fresh TESA), FET sched Jan'08, no embryos to transfer (23 usable eggs, 12 embies, 0 made it to transfer). IVF/ICSI#3: retrieval Mar'08, FET May'08, BFN (13 usable eggs, 7 fertilized w/ DH sperm= 0 blasts, 6 fertlized w/ DS=3 blasts, all 3 transferred, 1st beta=74, 2nd beta=64, 3rd beta=42). 1st cycle IUI/clomid/donor sperm postponed due to lack of follicular growth on 100mg clomidx5days.

ana

mom to beautiful baby lia.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2008
Wed, 01-07-2009 - 6:09pm
Welcome to the boar Alblough!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2008
Wed, 01-07-2009 - 7:12pm
I don't know how one deals with this. It is a cruel joke. It really and truly is and I commiserate 100%. You can say something like I hope you realize what a blessing this is for you because some of us can't do this. Tell them not to take their baby for granted and to complain about pg symptoms. AGHHH.


34 years old, Dh is 38; TTC 16 months. DX - hormonal irregularities but was told by two REs that I will get pg one day soon; did 3 Clomid-IUI cycles- #1 BFN; #2 chemical pregnancy; #3 BFP but lost it immediately. Now doing acupuncture and herbs for a natural, unmedicated cycle, but I am taking lots of supplementation including estrogen in a patch, progesterone suppositories, prescription folic acid and baby aspirin.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2008
Wed, 01-07-2009 - 8:13pm

(((HUGS))) Those are the worst.

  

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2008
Wed, 01-07-2009 - 8:22pm
It is so hard to deal with Oops pregnancies even
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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2009
Wed, 01-07-2009 - 9:09pm
Thanks to everyone for your support. I just don't know if I can keep going through this, but even if I decide to stop, I have no control over those around me. My brother and his girlfriend have no idea what they just got themselves into. Then again, who am I to judge, I don't have children either. I talked to my BFF tonight and she is amazing, she always makes me feel better. These are the days that I want to take the phone off of the hook and hide :). Anyway, I'll definitely be back to this. Aside from the constant disappointment of not being able to conceive, the feeling of loneliness is the worst. My fiance is there, but he can't truely understand what I feel, I mean a man's goal in life isn't to bear children. I know I'm not alone, but it sure feels like it when no one else around seems to have these problems. Thanks to everyone!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2008
Fri, 01-09-2009 - 4:31pm
((((HUGS))))) Alblough,


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