How do you respond?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2007
How do you respond?
13
Tue, 07-06-2010 - 10:02pm

When we first starting going through IF treatments I was tired of people asking "when are you going to have a baby?" It started the day we got married and most people knew we wanted kids right away...and man did people bug. I kept telling myself they don't know what you are going through..it's not their fault. BUT man is it annoying. I just wanted to say "you know what? There is nothing more I'd love, but getting pregnant isn't easy for everyone" or something along those lines. mostly I'd say something, "Whenever God chooses to bless us" or "We are working on it..and let's be honest, practicing is the fun part.."


How do you answer?


Now with a 2.5 year old, I hear CONSTANTLY "are you having anymore?" "When are you having another?" "You know, if you want another, you should do it now, you don't want them too far apart" Blah blah blah.
I have parents constantly asking me at school (I'm a teacher) and I just really want to snap and say "What business is it of yours? Do you just want to know if I'm going to be absent for your son/daughter's year so you can request another teacher?" I've never actually said that or anything like it, but it really frustrates me. I've been honest with some people and said something to the effect of "You know, I'd really love another. We are truly blessed with Mason, but we have infertility issues so we'll see what happens" It's actually kind of impowering in a way...but no less frustrating.


I guess I'm in a pissy mood today from being asked one too many times. Heck, even the cardiologist we had an appointment for Mason said, "Is he an only child? Why dont' you have another one yet? He's already 2 and half?" My answer? "I'd love one,but unless you have some donor sperm and a turkey baster in your drawer or do inferitilty treatments on the side, we are out of luck for now." Oops. Maybe it's PMS. Another joy.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2009
Wed, 07-07-2010 - 12:16am

Sorry you're irritated today.

Tamar

TTC #1 since Feb '09 with Unexplained Infertility: SA's all ok; b/w and HSG ok; Lap Mar '10 - mild endo on outside of right tube/uterus removed but not considered eno

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2007
Wed, 07-07-2010 - 1:32pm

I hear ya!


Don't you think it's such a shame that adoption is SO expensive? There are children that need homes and so many people who would give them such loving homes, but because of the cost, it really limits the whole process. I envy those with money who don't have to think twice about fertility treatments or the cost of adoption. I would be so nice...*sigh*

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2008
Wed, 07-07-2010 - 3:54pm

Ugh, I hate those questions too.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2010
Wed, 07-07-2010 - 6:09pm

The last time someone asked me I had just decided to go to Disney again. I told them "For now I want to be the only kid in my family going to Disney!" Its not true but it distracted them from that question and focused on something else. I find that is the best way to deal with the question. Subtle subject change!

Dixie


M/C November 2009


Metformin December 2009


Clomid #1 50mg April 2010 = no O :-(


Clomid #2 100mg May 2010 = BFN


Clomid #3 150mg July 2010


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Dixie

"Even miracles take a little time." ~ Fairy Godmother: Cinderella

TTC since April 2009

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2009
Wed, 07-07-2010 - 7:33pm
I get

Tamar

TTC #1 since Feb '09 with Unexplained Infertility: SA's all ok; b/w and HSG ok; Lap Mar '10 - mild endo on outside of right tube/uterus removed but not considered eno

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2006
Wed, 07-07-2010 - 9:05pm

I could have written your post!!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2007
Wed, 07-07-2010 - 9:27pm

What a clever diversion!


I see you are going back to Disney? I've never been and am wanting to go SOO bad. Everyone in my famiy has been but me (they all went one year while I was in university and I had to write exams! Not fair!)!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2007
Wed, 07-07-2010 - 9:31pm

Me too. How amazing it would be to grow our family that way..and give a child (or 2 or 3...) a loving home!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2007
Wed, 07-07-2010 - 9:36pm

I have become open to more and more people, but it's only after they've pestered me!
It's just 'funny' that people think a women's fertility and family planning is open for comments and questioning..*sigh*

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2010
Thu, 07-08-2010 - 6:50pm
Oh that is not fair! I have been and every time I get there I say I cannot wait to come back again!

Dixie


M/C November 2009


Metformin December 2009


Clomid #1 50mg April 2010 = no O :-(


Clomid #2 100mg May 2010 = BFN


Clomid #3 150mg July 2010


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Dixie

"Even miracles take a little time." ~ Fairy Godmother: Cinderella

TTC since April 2009

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