How do you respond?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2007
How do you respond?
13
Tue, 07-06-2010 - 10:02pm

When we first starting going through IF treatments I was tired of people asking "when are you going to have a baby?" It started the day we got married and most people knew we wanted kids right away...and man did people bug. I kept telling myself they don't know what you are going through..it's not their fault. BUT man is it annoying. I just wanted to say "you know what? There is nothing more I'd love, but getting pregnant isn't easy for everyone" or something along those lines. mostly I'd say something, "Whenever God chooses to bless us" or "We are working on it..and let's be honest, practicing is the fun part.."


How do you answer?


Now with a 2.5 year old, I hear CONSTANTLY "are you having anymore?" "When are you having another?" "You know, if you want another, you should do it now, you don't want them too far apart" Blah blah blah.
I have parents constantly asking me at school (I'm a teacher) and I just really want to snap and say "What business is it of yours? Do you just want to know if I'm going to be absent for your son/daughter's year so you can request another teacher?" I've never actually said that or anything like it, but it really frustrates me. I've been honest with some people and said something to the effect of "You know, I'd really love another. We are truly blessed with Mason, but we have infertility issues so we'll see what happens" It's actually kind of impowering in a way...but no less frustrating.


I guess I'm in a pissy mood today from being asked one too many times. Heck, even the cardiologist we had an appointment for Mason said, "Is he an only child? Why dont' you have another one yet? He's already 2 and half?" My answer? "I'd love one,but unless you have some donor sperm and a turkey baster in your drawer or do inferitilty treatments on the side, we are out of luck for now." Oops. Maybe it's PMS. Another joy.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2007
Thu, 07-08-2010 - 8:25pm
I SOOO want to go! I can't wait. I'm hoping we can take Mason soon!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2010
Wed, 07-14-2010 - 11:14pm

I understand where you are coming from completely! From the day we got married both DH and I have been asked at least once weekly if/when we are going to have children. At first I said "Hopefully soon!" but now, I have gotten to the point where I just say, "We don't know for sure if we will be able to have children." The asker generally then gets uncomfortable and says something like, "Well, you will adopt. I know you will have a child somehow." It's like people don't think before they speak!!


Hoping you get baby number 2 sooner than later!

 


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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2007
Fri, 07-23-2010 - 1:56pm
thanks! I hope you get your wish too! It would also help if people could stop asking. I had the lady in the passport office look at my sons picture and say "he's really cute. And 2? What are you waiting for? You should have another one soon so they aren't too far apart"
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