I feel like the only one...
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|Wed, 03-25-2009 - 7:42pm|
in the world who cannot get pregnant! I know that is not true and all of you amazing women are here. It just seems like everywhere I turn someone else is pregnant.
Warning: I am about to be very judgemental, but I am hurting! If I offend anyone...I am truly sorry!!
Within the past 2 months, two of my sister's friends have had babies. One woman has two children, and if you ask me, should have had another. The other is 21 and just had her second by a different boyfriend who she is not with anymore.
My sister-in-law is pregnant, and definitely can take care of this baby. I am very happy for her. She has been trying for awhile and is older, and has had problems. I sincerely am ecstatic for her, just very jealous. Her 19 year old son's 17 year old girlfriend is pregnant though. 17! They live with her grandmother and as much as I love my Nephew, I don't think he is prepared to be a father.
I also have a cousin whom I love dearly, who just had a baby last September. I won't comment, because I love him to pieces, but...
Then you have all of the news reports about people killing their children, then "octo-mom" having 8 more, and shopping constantly for herself. When I sit here desperately wanting to have a baby. Maybe I am wrong for saying all of these things, but I am just so upset. My DH and I have been trying to conceive for about 8 years now. Not always steadily working at it, but trying. I have gone to the doctors and they said I have PCOS, but even taking my medicine, I am not ovulating. The specialists have all said my insides (lol) look perfect and that besides for the PCOS I am great. I am just at this point where I just want to sit and cry constantly.
In the beginning of the year, after holding my little cousin Autumn, I said that I will have a baby by the end of the year. Which only gave me a couple months to get pregnant. I was trying to be positive. LOL Considering I only have a couple more days to get pregnant, doesn't look like its going to happen. I do have a wonderful daughter who will be 11 in April. I start to think about her being an only child and then I feel guilty. And I just have this overwhelming desire to have a child, and there is not one person in my life who understands this, or knows what I am going through.
Today is our 9th Wedding Anniversary, and my husband has to work overnight....
If you have gotten this far in my pity party...THANK YOU. I am sorry if anyone took offense to this e-mail. I know there are many many capable parents who are young, so I don't want anyone to think I feel that way about everyone. Just the ones I know.