I got my hopes up again...
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|Tue, 09-30-2008 - 1:32pm|
So I got my hopes up again. I kept telling myself that I wouldn't get excited about TTC again because I knew that it probably wouldn't work, but here I am again, crying because AF showed up. I know better than to get excited because AF is a little late. Today is CD1, and this was the longest cycle I have had. It went for 32 days, and last night I had to fight with myself not to go buy a test. I woke up last night at about 2 am, and sure enough AF had come.
I really tried not to get excited about being late, but you all know how that is. I still got that hmmmm...I am late, and there is a weird mucousy thing going on....maybe I am finally done waiting....maybe it is my turn. I really do know better. I am sick of all of this. I am sick of the cramps, and being sad, and having my period every single month. Darnit, I would be a good mom, and I deserve it too. Why can't it be my turn yet.
I'm sorry that I am rambling, I just got so disappointed when AF showed up today. I will be OK, I just need to be sad until 3:00 when my nieces get off the bus and start poking and pinching me, they never fail to make me feel better. Seeing the look on Gracie's face when she sees that I am off work and can play with her, always makes me smile. So I will be sad until 3, and then I will prepare myself for another month of waiting to O, checking CM, OPK, and BDing. The only part I am really looking forward to is the BDing, lol.
Thanks for listening to my pity party.