I'll NEVER understand this!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2007
I'll NEVER understand this!
13
Wed, 03-04-2009 - 5:10pm

So, I JUST found out that a friend of mine is pregnant. Ordinarily, I'd be at least marginally o.k. with the news. But for this person in particular, I just do not get it. I don't understand why God would allow this person to be a mother and not me.

She smokes constantly, drinks probably four days a week, she has only been with her boyfriend for two months, who BTW has just gone on trial for a 4th degree felony DUI with involuntary manslaughter and faces up to two years in prison. She will be homeless come May, an issue that she has resolved in coming to us for a room for rent at our house. She works as a temp at one place and barely shows up for work at the other. Oh, I haven't yet mentioned her recent DUI, as in two weeks ago! THE TOPPING ON THE CAKE IS: SHE AND HER BF WERE TRYING TO GET PG!!!

One more thing, when a mutual friend reminded her how expensive babies are she replied, "That's what my government and state are for." WHAT???!!! SERIOUSLY???!!!

How is this even o.k. for God to allow to happen? I don't get it! I will NEVER understand this reasoning, never! All I want to do right now is scream and cry and feel angry over all of this. It's stupid and UNFAIR! UGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME? What did do to be deserving of any of this? Seriously?! It's Bulls#!t!

Vent... completed...

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VISIT MY BLOG AT http://myinconceivablethoughts.blogspot.com

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2008
Wed, 03-04-2009 - 5:13pm

Hugs Jen, you're right it is not fair, not at all. Why in the world would she and her bf try to get pregnant? And it's nice how she admits that she is just going to let the tax payers take care of her and her child with no regard.

UGH!

Kelly


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2008
Wed, 03-04-2009 - 5:27pm

I hear you sister!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2006
Wed, 03-04-2009 - 5:33pm

BIG (((HUGGSS))) Jen


Your right its not fair! I dont get it either. It sucks!


Maybe this is gods way of making her see she needs to get herself straight and I hope for the baby she does. Maybe this baby will change her life?


But it still sucks!


Are you still going to rent her a room at your house?


Cynthia

Avatar for now_and_later_1
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2007
Wed, 03-04-2009 - 6:54pm

I know how many of you feel so consumed by the ups and downs of this roller coaster. I am certainly one of those women. But just now I feel as if my coaster has crashed. Earlier when I found out about my friend, I text my DH letting him know the news and I expressed that I was hurt and sad by the way of events in my life. Well, he just got home and I asked him if he got my message and he did and he sounded really annoyed about it. More importantly about the fact that I am angry. He went on saying that he doesn't spend his life angry over not being like other people. He said that he could be mad about all sorts of things like not being in Florida and eating fresh seafood, or that his Dad is rich and he's not, or that his best friend can go surfing everyday and he can't... he kept on by saying how he is happy hes not our newly PG friend OR her BF especially. He told me that I shouldn't feel this way because I am blessed in so many other ways that they aren't. AND while that much is true, I feel like I am still justified and deserving to be angry and express my feelings. ALL I WANTED WAS FOR HIM TO HUG ME AND TELL ME IT WILL BE ALRIGHT! Why he would react the way he did, ANNOYED at my feelings, and make me cry right there on the spot, I do not understand. What is so wrong in feeling this way? I would never want to have the life my friend has, but I don't think it's fair that she gets to experience this joy when she is SO undeserving of it!

Honestly, I feel like throwing in the towel. I feel like giving up and tapping out of the wrestling ring, I've just gotten too beat up by all of this. Today, I feel truly alone in my fight. DH is numb to all of this and really would be fine if we never had kids. He is only doing it because he knows how badly I want them.

O.k. I have to go now, typing through tears is making me feel worse. Thanks for reading.

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VISIT MY BLOG AT http://myinconceivablethoughts.blogspot.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2008
Wed, 03-04-2009 - 7:30pm
Oh Jen.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-11-2008
Wed, 03-04-2009 - 7:53pm

I'm sorry Jen.

Isabel
Mom to Sebastian Robert after 3+ years of infertility

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2008
Wed, 03-04-2009 - 7:55pm

Jen

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2009
Wed, 03-04-2009 - 8:44pm

I'm so sorry Jen.

After struggling with infertility, we welcomed our son Noah on March 18, 2010! Formerly a teacher, I am now a breastfeeding, babywearing, stay at home Mom, and I couldn't love it any more!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2004
Wed, 03-04-2009 - 10:03pm

I'll hold her - you hit her?


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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2008
Thu, 03-05-2009 - 10:00am

Jen, sorry you had the double-whammy of

 

Angela

Me 32, C 34. Toge

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