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|Wed, 06-16-2010 - 10:36am|
So, this is the month I said we would start. I have barely been able to sleep the last few nights just tossing and turning with nerves over this. I just want to throw a tantrum and kick and scream that "I don't wanna do IVF"! I hate that it has come to this. I remember saying many years ago, when we were at the start of this baby journey, that I would never do IVF. Ah, how naive I was back then :) I think mainly I am just scared. Scared of side effects and feeling raunchy for several weeks, mad I have to give up my regular exercise and such, and more than anything, scared it won't work.
I am pissed we have to spend all this money to treat my stupid disease. And I am trying to see it that way. I have a medical condition, endo, that is preventing us from getting pregnant and just like any other disease this is the out of pocket cost we have to pay to treat it. I could put this off a few more months and try a little longer to get p/g naturally. But that also seems naive, we have had countless natural cycles in the past 2 years with nothing to show for it. So this gives us a higher chance to actually get a BFP and that is the whole goal. Why must it be this hard though!?!
Off to call the RE office then!
Kathleen - TTC #1 since September 2006 (Me - 31, DH - 32). Always remembering our 3 angels.
January 2008 - Chemical P/G, April 2008 - M/C at about 7 weeks, June 2008 - Blighted Ovum
May 2009 - diagnosed Low Protein S and Hetero MTHFR - Baby aspirin, Lovenex injections once BFP. Feb 2010 - Lap to drain chocolate cyst, dx Stage III endo.
July 2009 - 100mg Clomid and IUI = BFN, August 2009 - 100mg Clomid = BFN, Sept through ??? - going all natural including Acupuncture, Vitex, and natural Progesterone cream. Planning on IVF #1 in July.