IVF Butterflies

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2007
IVF Butterflies
8
Wed, 06-16-2010 - 10:36am

So, this is the month I said we would start. I have barely been able to sleep the last few nights just tossing and turning with nerves over this. I just want to throw a tantrum and kick and scream that "I don't wanna do IVF"! I hate that it has come to this. I remember saying many years ago, when we were at the start of this baby journey,  that I would never do IVF. Ah, how naive I was back then :) I think mainly I am just scared. Scared of side effects and feeling raunchy for several weeks, mad I have to give up my regular exercise and such, and more than anything, scared it won't work.


I am pissed we have to spend all this money to treat my stupid disease. And I am trying to see it that way. I have a medical condition, endo, that is preventing us from getting pregnant and just like any other disease this is the out of pocket cost we have to pay to treat it. I could put this off a few more months and try a little longer to get p/g naturally. But that also seems naive, we have had countless natural cycles in the past 2 years with nothing to show for it. So this gives us a higher chance to actually get a BFP and that is the whole goal. Why must it be this hard though!?!


Off to call the RE office then!



Kathleen - TTC #1 since September 2006 (Me - 31, DH - 32). Always remembering our 3 angels.


January 2008 - Chemical P/G, April 2008 - M/C at about 7 weeks, June 2008 - Blighted Ovum


May 2009 - diagnosed Low Protein S and Hetero MTHFR - Baby aspirin, Lovenex injections once BFP. Feb 2010 - Lap to drain chocolate cyst, dx Stage III endo.


July 2009 - 100mg Clomid and IUI = BFN, August 2009 -  100mg Clomid  = BFN, Sept through ??? - going all natural including Acupuncture, Vitex, and natural Progesterone cream. Planning on IVF #1 in July.


     

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2008
In reply to: kaytesue
Wed, 06-16-2010 - 12:41pm

Oh Kathleen, I'm so sorry you're feeling so nervous about starting. Big Hugs! We don't mind if you need to throw a tantrum and kick and scream, it's understandable to feel that way. It's hard when we start this journey to know how and where it will lead us and what we will end up doing that we thought we wouldn't or couldn't have. My DH said the same thing about not wanting to do IVF if it came to that, but when it started looking like the better option to have a little one, he was open to it. Our experiences and time can change what we're open to with TTC, but that doesn't always make the decision and step to get there any easier.

You are a great momma already doing so much for your little one! Your little one is loved and cared for already! I know it can be a scary step, but you can do it!

I'll be here to send you lots of encouragement and cheers for your sticky, sticky BFP!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2009
In reply to: kaytesue
Thu, 06-17-2010 - 4:05pm

Hang in there!


Me: 39, DH: 43


TTC for 5 years . 1 Ectopic PG at 8 wee

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2007
In reply to: kaytesue
Thu, 06-17-2010 - 5:41pm

Thanks Monica :) I feel a little better actually now that all the wheels are in motion. DH and I have been really good about communicating and he is just as apprehensive about this whole process. And feels really bad I am the one that has to bear the brunt of all the medicines and procedures. But we want a biological child so this is what we are doing.

I don't have my official schedule yet but I believe she said I will start stims on July 16th. Are you just starting BCP or suppression at the end of July? I am not doing BCP because of my blood clot issues so I get a weird 3 week lull of nothing before my first shots. Which most likely will be on the road while I am traveling for business (argh!).



Kathleen - TTC #1 since September 2006 (Me - 31, DH - 32). Always remembering our 3 angels.


January 2008 - Chemical P/G, April 2008 - M/C at about 7 weeks, June 2008 - Blighted Ovum


May 2009 - diagnosed Low Protein S and Hetero MTHFR - Baby aspirin, Lovenex

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2009
In reply to: kaytesue
Fri, 06-18-2010 - 11:12am

Having a plan is always a relief for me....it is the unknown that is scary.


My last cycle I did was a micro dose lupron...where I started lupron for a few days and then started the stims.


Me: 39, DH: 43


TTC for 5 years . 1 Ectopic PG at 8 wee

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2008
In reply to: kaytesue
Fri, 06-25-2010 - 2:22pm

Hugs Kathleen!

I know I'm super late responding so I'm hoping getting the plan underway has helped you feel better about it. I remember when my RE even mentioned IVF to me I was blown away, it just seemed like such a hurdle. And getting started overwhelmed me but I remember once it was underway thinking "okay, I can handle this". I honestly did not feel crappy from the meds at all (not sure if this was because it didn't really make me produce any eggs or just lucky or what).

So where are you at with it right now? I hope you are feeling better about it now.

Kelly





Kelly


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2008
In reply to: kaytesue
Sat, 06-26-2010 - 8:19pm

July/August IVF support group is up!


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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2007
In reply to: kaytesue
Sun, 06-27-2010 - 6:18pm

Hi Kelly,


Thanks for the reply. I am doing a little better. I had the TET last week and was crying before I even got out of the building. I just get so overwhelmed by it sometimes. But 30 minutes later I had talked myself down and was OK. I think we, DH and I both, are just worried about the outcome. But we will just take it one day at a time and see what happens. It doesn't help that my RE has a really somber manner so I always feel like things are x10 worse when she talks about it. At this point I am almost more anxious just to start and get all of these unknown out of the way! Hope all is well with you!


Kathleen



Kathleen - TTC #1 since September 2006 (Me - 31, DH - 32). Always remembering our 3 angels.


January 2008 - Chemical P/G, April 2008 - M/C at about 7 weeks, June 2008 - Blighted Ovum


May 2009 - diagnosed Low Protein S and Hetero MTHFR - Baby aspirin, Lovenex

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2008
In reply to: kaytesue
Sun, 06-27-2010 - 6:44pm
More hugs Kathleen! I hope all of this stress pays off with success for you and DH.
Kelly





Kelly