Just need to vent...

Hi ladies,

I'm having one of those days and I just needed to vent to some people that actually know what it's like to go through all this drama. 

I got my period yesterday, even though I was sure I was pregnant.  I had all the physical symptoms and even felt a little different...I had a pregnancy test scheduled for this coming Monday.  I even waited until yesterday to make the pregnancy test appointment because I didn't want to jinx myself by calling too early to make it.  So the same day I make the appointment, I get my period.

I just hate feeling defeated and have gotten to the point of complete frustration.  We have been trying for a year and half with no luck at all.  Finally went on Clomid last month and decided to try one more month on our own.  We'll try IUI this next time around.  I know it may sound silly, but I just really wanted to do this the old-fashioned way...yes, I know I'm not alone :-)  I guess moving on to IUI makes me feel like we failed in some stupid way and have to resort to "help".

I've been trying to stay positive and even told my hubby last time around that we were going to think positive because I "will" get pregnant.  I kept saying it to myself and it lifted my spirits a bit, but my spirits have been far from lifted in a long time.  The tests, the hormones, the doctor appointments, the disappointment...  I don't know.  I feel really bad for my husband because I am so hormonal all the time - my mood swings are crazy and I find myself snapping at him more and more. 

Anyway, I just needed to get some of this stuff off my chest.  I hope all of you are doing well and are having better luck than I am :-)

Take care, Maureen