LIST: What NOT to do @ work!
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|Tue, 10-07-2008 - 12:02pm|
Background: I work at an educational company aimed at young children. So, we have a more kid-oriented atmosphere than a lot of places. And so I feel like those with IF aren't really allowed to express any frustration about insensitivity regarding pregnancy/parental status in the workplace. So that's the first thing.
There is a big meeting going on at work yesterday and today (I did a lot of work helping to set up, but wasn't invited despite trying to move into a more interesting set of work, but that's a separate story). The woman who is mainly running it is a co-worker of mine who I usually really like, but I find myself big time resenting in the last week. She has been kind of short and a little condescending in the last couple of days to me since I've been stuck in this support role when I wish I were in the meeting instead. On top of that, she is 8 months pregnant, walks around rubbing her belly constantly, etc. Fortunately I don't see her often - she usually works remotely, and we have a very friendly work relationship (I told her we were having trouble TTC, and she has been very sympathetic, since they didn't get pregnant immediately, although I don't think they needed treatments). But I have just flat out had it with doing crappy stuff for this meeting and then not even being able to sit in on it, her being far less nice/considerate as usual, walking around constantly rubbing her belly, etc. I have no patience left, at all, to enable me to be polite if my buttons get pushed any more.
And, it's made FAR WORSE by the fact that I had dropped on me yesterday morning that in light of the MANY follicles developing all at once with a low dose of Follistim, we may be converting this cycle to IVF for next week! I absolutely did not expect that AT ALL, so it's kind of a shock, and I'm running to catch up in trying to learn more about what will happen, figure out how I will get the time from work, etc. So the baby thing is just on my mind big time even more than usual, and I can't get away from it at any turn!
Hence, I thought it might help to have a list of stuff people SHOULD NOT do at work re: possible people around them who could have fertility problems. (As you can tell, this is an issue in my workplace.) Please, add your suggestions to the list!
- Put up HUGE, conspicuous pictures of their kids in common/semi-common areas (i.e. office door, wall next to office door, half the outside side of the cube, etc... on your desk is fine, whatever, just not in common space!). Ditto for putting other random people's birth announcements out on open surfaces for no apparent reason. I walk down some corridors at work, and it's like having other people's good fortune shoved in my face at every turn, especially on days when I'm angry and trying not to cry about the IF stuff.
- If you're pregnant, especially at work, DO NOT GO AROUND RUBBING YOUR BELLY CONSTANTLY! It's like, "Ooooh, look how beautifully pregnant I am, don't you wish you were pregnant too?!"
- When you're pregnant at work, particulary around a co-worker (i.e. me) you know is having trouble TTC, DO NOT comment whenever you're eating about how the baby likes the food, or doesn't like the food, while rubbing your belly. (It's just shoving it in everyone's face that you're pregnant, you have a baby growing inside you, etc.)
Please add to the list from your experiences!
KJ (32) & DH (39) PCOS Dx 3/04, confirmed 6/08 Off BCP since 12/07; irregular cycles (42-96 days long) Ovulated right off pill 1/08, but likely no O since (possible unsuitable O?) 8/08: Clomid 100mg round; NO O; Cannot take Clomid again due to visual s/e 10/08: Follistim 75 (after Provera to start AF); waiting to see if I get some good follicles.
Edited 10/7/2008 3:57 pm ET by julybug07