No Mom's Day card after loss of child?!
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|Sat, 05-08-2010 - 2:17pm|
I have a bone to pick with the card makers and card stores. I recently got back in touch with a good friend from high school. Sheâ€™s starting on the road of fertility treatments. In 2007, she and her DH lost their baby daughter a few days after birth from a heart defect. I went to a large card store looking for a Motherâ€™s Day card for her. I ended up asking an employee when I couldnâ€™t find a card. They had ONE card in the huge row of Motherâ€™s Day cards, but even that one was generic and was labeled as Care/Concern. And, then I didnâ€™t like the wording because it took away from the acknowledgement that she should be celebrated as a mother even though itâ€™s understandably a difficult day.
They had so many Motherâ€™s Day cards...ones for Like a Mother to me, ones from the dog, ones from the cat, funny ones, ones for Ex-MIL, a couple for people who had lost their mother, but none for a parent who had lost a child! Those mothers need acknowledgement and cards too.
I looked through the Motherâ€™s Day cards from friends and the ones from daughters and the more generic ones, but there was always some wording that I didnâ€™t like or wasnâ€™t appropriate. I went to another card store and didnâ€™t have luck there either. I finally found a generic Motherâ€™s Day card that seemed to work. It had a butterfly on the outside that said â€œA Wish for Youâ€ and on the inside it talked about her being a special woman who deserves to be celebrated and a wish for a wonderful Motherâ€™s Day. I liked that it had the butterfly because they released butterflies at the cemetery on their daughterâ€™s first birthday and she has a lot of butterfly jewelry and mementos in remembrance of her. I ended up writing a message inside to her and a poem I had found online as if it had been from her daughter.
While I had planned to write a personal note inside anyway, it would have been nice to be able to find a card or a few cards to choose from that were specifically written for a mother who had lost a child. Itâ€™s strange to me that there aren't cards, especially because itâ€™s not only mothers that lose babies, there are mothers that lose older children and even grown children.
Me (30), DH (31) since March '06.
4/07 & 5/07 & 6/07: Clomid 50mg - All BFN
8/07 & 9/07: IUI #1 & #2 w/ Femara - Both BFN
10/07: IUI #3 w/ Femara - BFP!, m/c at 7w 5d :(
3/08: IUI #4 w/ Femara & Follistim - BFN
4/08: IUI #5 w/ Follistim,converted to IVF #1- 2 embies transferred - BFN
6/08: IUI #5 w/ Femara & Follistim - BFN
7/08 to 9/08: IVF #2- 2 embies transferred - BFN
10/08: IUI #6 w/ Femara & Follistim - BFP!, m/c :(
11/08: IUI #7 w/ Femara & Follistim - BFN
2/09 to 3/09: IVF #3- Day 5 ET of 2 blasts - BFP!, m/c :(
DH's chromosome testing abnormal, moving forward with DS
5/09 to 9/09: 3 canceled attempts at IVF #4
10/09 to 11/09: IVF #4 w/DS- Day 2 ET of a 2-cell embie - BFP!
Beta 15 dpER = 152, Beta 18 dpER = 690
7wk u/s: Heartbeat! 134 bpm, OB u/s: Buggie's growing, h/b 166 bpm
1/13/10 appt: Heartbeat's gone :( D&C at 11w, baby's chromosomes abnormal & shows baby was a boy.
2/10 to 4/10: IVF #5 w/DS. Day 3 ET of 2 embies. 3 embies on ice. BFP! Beta 16dpER = 338, Beta 19 dpER = 1144
7 wk u/s: Both embies implanted, but one stopped growing at 6 wks. :( Other baby had a h/b of 134 bpm!
Next u/s on 5/13. Thinking sticky peanut butter thoughts!