Preparation for BFN

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2008
Preparation for BFN
19
Tue, 10-21-2008 - 2:37pm

Hi ladies!


I really need to vent!  I can tell AF is coming within a couple days.  I am trying to trick her into staying away(dark pants, ugly old undies, have plenty of supplies in my purse).


This was my 3rd Femara cycle- next step is to get back with the RE and TCM.  C has to have some additional testing to determine cause of low/borderline motility and morphology.  Some of the symptoms I have been having make me suspect I might have endo. I HOPE NOT, but then if things went the way I hoped they would, we would all have BFPs!!!


The thing that is REALLY driving me crazy today is that if AF is stubborn and waits till late Thurs or early Fri, I will have to POAS.  Flu shots are being given at work and I want to be 100% sure of a BFN.  Even though I know it will be a BFN, seeing "Not Pregnant" on the CBE digital is really hard to take!  I wish I had not ever bought them (especially a 3 pack!)...at least the ones with the lines don't torture you for a couple mins then pop up that horrible message.  I may just go buy some FRER and just save the digital ones until/if I ever get a BFP. Then I can surround myself with "Pregnant" sticks and rejoice.


Thanks for letting me vent.



Angela


 


for anyone who really wants to read more venting----on a different venting note- Also, my Grandma keeps improving from her fall slowly, and shows no more sympoms from pneumonia...but of course the alzheimer's/dementia is always there.  I am frustrated with the family situation though.  I have 2 male cousins (her grandchildren) they are in their 20's and won't visit our Grandma even after all she is going through right now.  They live 5 min from her assisted living (really, 5 mins- less than 2 miles- they both live at home with their parents)....I live 1hr and 15 mins away.  Somehow between work and dogs and TTC I am able to see her 1-3 times a week, I send her cards, call her, etc- and yes, I feel like I am not doing enough.  They can't even drive 5 mins just to say Hi Grandma, I love you.  My Grandma goes on and on to anyone who will listen about how great of a granddaughter I am and how much she likes my fiance...when she remembers me, or else she talks about "that nice lady" and "that nice couple" that visit her.  And my Aunt asks my Mom "Why do you think Mom likes Angela so much better than the boys? What is it?"  (My Mom told me she has said this to her a few times over the past few months)  I guess that is just the womanly thing to do- I cry often when I visit her (when I leave, or I go in the bathroom- I don't want to worry her). Even though it makes me sad/uncomfortable/mad at God or mother nature- I deal with it because it is just a drop in the bucket compared to what she is going through.  And I love and respect her too much to treat her like she doesn't exist. I realize Men/Boys aren't expected to be so "caring", but to not visit her at all, even after her accident???  One of my cousins wants me to help him get a job where I work...hmmm, he is leaving me messages about it when I am 5 mins from his house visiting Gram....yeah, sure, I'll get right on it.... I am not trying to say I am good, they are bad, or judge- I just want them to MAN UP and go visit Grandma and make her smile! 


Phew- sorry, that turned into one big vent, didn't it...but I really do feel better now...part of that RANT must be AF talking.




Edited 10/21/2008 3:47 pm ET by anc2326


Edited 10/21/2008 4:05 pm ET by anc2326

 

Angela

Me 32, C 34. Toge

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2008
Tue, 10-21-2008 - 3:41pm
(((HUGS)))
  

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2008
Tue, 10-21-2008 - 4:59pm

hi angela,


(((hugs))) feel free to vent anytime! i totally understand. one thing: ask RE about a flu shot. i agonized about it last yr, and was told my RE that it is fine, even a good idea. this yr i got one no prob. i had a pg friend 2 yrs ago who was told it's really important if you're pg to get one. if you look at the info, there are some made w/ a preservative (thimerosal) and some preservative-free. although there's not really any evidence, some believe thimerosal is not a good thing (i think it might have mercury in it). you can search on the web pretty easily for the different kinds and if they do or don't have it. or, just ask the pharmacist or whoever if the one they're giving has it. i went to cvs last yr and this yr, both times they had the preservative-free stuff.


it's so horrible when you think AF is coming but still have that bit of hope. i'm not even expecting AF until at least next monday, and still i'm assessing every little feeling and wondering if it's AF on its way. the waiting is so hard, and yet it's so nice to at least have the possibility that maybe i'm pg.


ana

mom to beautiful baby lia.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2008
Tue, 10-21-2008 - 5:49pm
You can and it is recommended to get a flu shot if you are pg or thinking of getting pg.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2008
Tue, 10-21-2008 - 8:57pm
My PCP told me that I had to get the shot since I was trying.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2008
Tue, 10-21-2008 - 10:18pm

Thanks Susan!

 

Angela

Me 32, C 34. Toge

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2008
Wed, 10-22-2008 - 10:57am

How are you doing?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2008
Wed, 10-22-2008 - 11:36am

Thanks for checking :)


AF is still staying away....and my back's feeling a lot better....(that is typical for me last 8 cycles or so, back is bad for a few days, then it feels ok...then 2 or so days later...AF shows up).


I came up with a different idea last night before bed and C got me a stick out from the hiding place.

 

Angela

Me 32, C 34. Toge

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2008
Wed, 10-22-2008 - 1:32pm

hi angela,


wow, you have a lot of discipline!!!!! i know how hard the POAS deal is. i think that if i am lucky enough to get pg one day, i'll POAS after i find out just to get a positive! RE's office always says not to test before the beta since i could get a false positive (b/c of the hcg injections) or a false negative (for the normal reasons). as tempting as it always is to POAS before having the beta, it would be meaningless since it could very well be wrong one way or the other.


i'm also trying to keep AF away, although don't expect

ana

mom to beautiful baby lia.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2008
Wed, 10-22-2008 - 2:18pm

Hi Ana!


I hope this is your lucky cycle!

 

Angela

Me 32, C 34. Toge

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2008
Wed, 10-22-2008 - 2:49pm
it's all hard, when we get down to it. i know that both getting AF and getting a BFN from RE will both be devastating. hopefully we'll both have BFPs soon.

ana


TTC since Sept '06. Diagnosed w/ PCOS, DH diagnosed with azoospermia Dec '06, TESA Mar '07
IVF/ICSI/AZH#1 Aug'07, BFN (6 usable eggs, 5 embies, 2 transferred, 1st beta=18, 2nd beta=12, 0 made it to blast to freeze)
IVF/ICSI#2:retrieval Nov'07 (w/ fresh TESA), FET sched Jan'08, no embryos to transfer (23 usable eggs, 12 embies, 0 made it to transfer)
IVF/ICSI#3: retrieval Mar'08, FET May'08, BFN (13 usable eggs, 7 fertilized w/ DH sperm= 0 blasts, 6 fertlized w/ DS=3 blasts, all 3 transferred, 1st beta=74, 2nd beta=64, 3rd beta=42)
1st cycle IUI/clomid/donor sperm postponed due to lack of follicular growth on 100mg clomidx5days.

ana

mom to beautiful baby lia.

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