Preparation for BFN
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|Tue, 10-21-2008 - 2:37pm|
I really need to vent! I can tell AF is coming within a couple days. I am trying to trick her into staying away(dark pants, ugly old undies, have plenty of supplies in my purse).
This was my 3rd Femara cycle- next step is to get back with the RE and TCM. C has to have some additional testing to determine cause of low/borderline motility and morphology. Some of the symptoms I have been having make me suspect I might have endo. I HOPE NOT, but then if things went the way I hoped they would, we would all have BFPs!!!
The thing that is REALLY driving me crazy today is that if AF is stubborn and waits till late Thurs or early Fri, I will have to POAS. Flu shots are being given at work and I want to be 100% sure of a BFN. Even though I know it will be a BFN, seeing "Not Pregnant" on the CBE digital is really hard to take! I wish I had not ever bought them (especially a 3 pack!)...at least the ones with the lines don't torture you for a couple mins then pop up that horrible message. I may just go buy some FRER and just save the digital ones until/if I ever get a BFP. Then I can surround myself with "Pregnant" sticks and rejoice.
Thanks for letting me vent.
for anyone who really wants to read more venting----on a different venting note- Also, my Grandma keeps improving from her fall slowly, and shows no more sympoms from pneumonia...but of course the alzheimer's/dementia is always there. I am frustrated with the family situation though. I have 2 male cousins (her grandchildren) they are in their 20's and won't visit our Grandma even after all she is going through right now. They live 5 min from her assisted living (really, 5 mins- less than 2 miles- they both live at home with their parents)....I live 1hr and 15 mins away. Somehow between work and dogs and TTC I am able to see her 1-3 times a week, I send her cards, call her, etc- and yes, I feel like I am not doing enough. They can't even drive 5 mins just to say Hi Grandma, I love you. My Grandma goes on and on to anyone who will listen about how great of a granddaughter I am and how much she likes my fiance...when she remembers me, or else she talks about "that nice lady" and "that nice couple" that visit her. And my Aunt asks my Mom "Why do you think Mom likes Angela so much better than the boys? What is it?" (My Mom told me she has said this to her a few times over the past few months) I guess that is just the womanly thing to do- I cry often when I visit her (when I leave, or I go in the bathroom- I don't want to worry her). Even though it makes me sad/uncomfortable/mad at God or mother nature- I deal with it because it is just a drop in the bucket compared to what she is going through. And I love and respect her too much to treat her like she doesn't exist. I realize Men/Boys aren't expected to be so "caring", but to not visit her at all, even after her accident??? One of my cousins wants me to help him get a job where I work...hmmm, he is leaving me messages about it when I am 5 mins from his house visiting Gram....yeah, sure, I'll get right on it.... I am not trying to say I am good, they are bad, or judge- I just want them to MAN UP and go visit Grandma and make her smile!
Phew- sorry, that turned into one big vent, didn't it...but I really do feel better now...part of that RANT must be AF talking.
Edited 10/21/2008 3:47 pm ET by anc2326
Edited 10/21/2008 4:05 pm ET by anc2326