iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2011
Sat, 01-01-2011 - 10:06pm

My sister and I were extremely close until recently. One year ago we had a failed IVF attempt. I am 27 and my sister is 21, still lives with our parents. In the past year, she has become very close to a co-work who is 26, co-worker was always afraid of being pregnant. While my DH and I were preparing for our cycle my sister sewed a quilt and bought a pair of baby shoes for my "hope chest". Right after our IVF attempt failed, my sister got really close to this co-worker who got pregnant within two months our our failed IVF. She came to my house, took the quilt, and shoes and gave them to the co-worker. The co-worker had the baby and my sister told me this. I asked my sister if she was going to have the baby call her auntie. My sister said "Would it bother you?" And I said that she knew it would. MY SISTER IS NO LONGER SPEAKING TO ME! She deleted me off of her Facebook, and put twelve pictures of the co-workers baby on FB, changed her profile pic to her holding the baby, and six to seven updates a day about the baby. These still come up on my husbands facebook page. Can I get your honest opinions on this? Am I completely in the wrong for telling my sister it would bother me if she

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2010
Mon, 01-03-2011 - 8:50pm

Oh I am absolutely SO sorry that your sister has treated you like that! It is just terrible. I am of the same mind as you about not telling people. My sister knew first but I had told her about my m/c because she also had one and I knew she would understand (sorry :-( ) However I told my mother a little later and she still has no idea how to react to me.

Actually at one point as I was standing there with her and my little niece (who was like 2 months old at the time) and she looked and me and went "Are you ok around the baby". Ok it sounds fine in this context but she said it to me like I was going to fling myself off the nearest cliff. Sometimes I feel like people should follow the old advice of "if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all" but more along the lines of "if you don't understand it, don't make random comments".

In general I feel very alone concerning IF except when I am here. It is such a comfort to know that when I come on here and post something at least one other woman here will know what I am talking about.


"Even miracles take a little time." ~ Fairy Godmother: Cinderella

TTC since April 2009

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2006
Sun, 01-02-2011 - 11:47pm

That is totally unacceptable in my book. Why would she make you a baby gift and give it to someone else? That is just beyond words. I had my grandma make a few baby quilts for me when she was making some for my sisters kids (kids now 10, 6 & 1). I still have them in my hope chest and NOBODY is taking them away from me. I think your sister has a lot of soul searching and growing up to do.

I am sorry you have to deal with this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2011
Sun, 01-02-2011 - 6:17pm

Hi Ladies,

I haven't talked about my IF (I am a firm believer in "hold it in until you flip out hard core" ; ) When I saw that people actually posted comments I was so excited and then had a complete break-down. I looked at my husband and said THERE ARE MORE OUT THERE LIKE ME!!!! I have felt very alone.....and after reading just about every post on this sight, I feel better. Gosh, I have some horror stories about our journey with IF, but I also have some very funny ones too. I can't wait to hear some of yours!!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2009
Sun, 01-02-2011 - 4:00pm

Lilypie Maternity tickers

May Baby

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2010
Sun, 01-02-2011 - 1:02pm

Hi Mandy,

Sister or not, it is a sad situation when someone gives a gift and then comes and takes it back for any reason!

~ Meron born 12-09-11 after 3 1/2 years of TTC, IUIs and IVF.
~ #2 on the way(!) and due 06-06-13.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-28-2009
Sun, 01-02-2011 - 11:32am

unfortunately it sounds like another example of people not understanding IF. I dont think you over reacted or were wrong in how you feel. It wouldve bothered me too, and i probably wouldve been more upset about her taking those things back she made. The thing is shes young and shes over reacting. Im sorry this is probably making a hard situation worse. i dont have a ton of advice for you i think this will probably pass but i wanted to give you alittle support. Hopefully someday your family will understand how hurtful it was for your sister to do those things. I hope you can reconnect with them soon, and i hope you get your own LO to hold soon as well