So emotional, where do I go next.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2008
So emotional, where do I go next.....
20
Mon, 10-06-2008 - 4:55pm

Ladies, I really don't know what is going on with me lately.  My emotions have been all over this place.  So here is the original plan as of August.  TTC naturally till January than move to our last IVF.  Then if all else failed then we would have my sister be our surrogate.  Well all of a sudden I want to get moving again.  I am just sooo tired of being in this position of a waiting pattern.  I know it is possible to get preggers but how much more waiting, what else do I need to change? 


So part of the reason I wanted to wait till January was because of the Holidays coming up and I was planning to travel and see our families.  But right now at this moment I sooo want to start my family so much so that I am considering calling my RE at the end of this cycle and order BCP to get on the IVF schedule.  This would also move up the possibilty of surrogacy with my sister.  She is on board no matter what I decide.  I know I have a purpose in all of this but it just seems so blurry right now (maybe it is the tears). 


You all are so wonderful and it isn't that I want to leave.  I just want my life back.  I want to be pregnant or my sister to be pregnant for me. 

Photobucket







http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/1fb3c7


 


PhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucket
TTC TTC #1 since June 2006, Me 28 & DH 29, IVF #1 ICSI and AH ~ BFN, IVF #2 Jan, DX ~ DOR not POF, TTC w/ the assitance of Traditional Chinese Medicine  "If you take each challenge one step at a time, with faith and every footstep, your strength and understanding will increase."  -James E. Faust


PhotobucketPhotobucket



Photobucket

  

Photobucket

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2006
Mon, 10-06-2008 - 5:29pm

Susan- first of all, {{{HUGS}}} Emotions can be a witch during this whole TTC/IF process....

That's totally normal for you want to get things moving, waiting gets old real fast. We are filled with different wait-times through this whole process- wait to O, wait for AF/BFP, wait for treatments, wait to get regular, etc. I really don't have any great advice for you except to do what feels best with you and your husband.

You'll be in my prayers as you're thinking/making whatever decision is best for you. {{{HUGS}}}

autumnstroll.jpg picture by mlaspinall31




Photobucket


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2008
Mon, 10-06-2008 - 5:52pm

*hugs* Susan. It's so frustrating to have to wait. I think everyone here can relate to just wanting to start their families right now. How does DH feel about starting IVF before the holidays?


*hugs*

Erin & Ryan Sig
Erin & Ryan Sig
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2008
Mon, 10-06-2008 - 5:55pm

Susan.....


Here's a big huge HUG for you!!!


I really don't know what to say....the waiting sucks....it seems like every time xmas starts to approach I start to panic....because it seems like it came so fast.....and it always seems like the previous holiday I figured I'd either have a baby or be PG by the time the next one rolled around.....so when they start to approach I start to panic.....either way the waiting game stinks....


Whatever you decide to do....it will be whats best for you and your DH.....

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2008
Mon, 10-06-2008 - 7:03pm

Susan...I am sorry

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2008
Mon, 10-06-2008 - 7:57pm

dear susan,

((((((HUGS)))))) the emotions of IF are a killer. all the waiting waiting waiting makes me ask when i can live my life and will i be grieving all this time lost. our bodies are supposed to give life and yet it seems impossible. i think you have a good plan, but of course you want it to get started! dh and i decided that getting pg is our #1 priority, and have worked our lives around treatment. we only plan travel around our treatment. and yet, i wish i could be like some of the women here and take a month off or take a great vacation. for those who can do that, that's great. but no one can fault you for wanting to get on with your life and your family and your totally normal desire for a child. i, for one, always feel a bit better having a plan and knowing that i've started it. so, even taking BCPs makes me feel like i've taken a step. you know, if you start BCPs now, you don't have to make a decision about starting earlier. usually they want you on BCPs for a certain minimum amount of time, but they can extend it, even going for more than 3 wks w/o taking a week of placebos and getting AF.

susan, you have a purpose, and you have a very real desire that you have every right to have. of course you want the holidays and to see family, but there may also be a way to fit that into an IVF schedule if what you need is to do it sooner. now let us take care of you the way you take care of all of us on the board! :)

ana


TTC since Sept '06
Diagnosed w/ PCOS, DH diagnosed with azoospermia Dec '06, TESA Mar '07
IVF/ICSI/AZH#1 Aug'07, BFN (6 usable eggs, 5 embies, 2 transferred, 1st beta=18, 2nd beta=12, 0 made it to blast to freeze)
IVF/ICSI#2:retrieval Nov'07, FET sched Jan'08, no embryos to transfer (23 usable eggs, 12 embies, 0 made it to transfer)
IVF/ICSI#3: retrieval Mar'08, FET May'08, BFN (13 usable eggs, 7 fertilized w/ DH sperm= 0 blasts, 6 fertlized w/ DS=3 blasts, all 3 transferred, 1st beta=74, 2nd beta=64, 3rd beta=42)
1st cycle IUI/clomid/donor sperm postponed due to lack of follicular growth on 100mg clomidx5days.

ana

mom to beautiful baby lia.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2007
Mon, 10-06-2008 - 9:03pm
Hi, Susan- I understand about how the waiting is hard!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2008
Mon, 10-06-2008 - 9:24pm
( ( ( ( H U G S ) ) ) ) Maybe your purpose is suppose to change from supporting others to being the one to tell others there is hope. You know, kinda like my niece. Whatever you do decide just know that we all care for you and wish you the best. I would hate to see you go but at the same time it would make me so happy for you.
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2008
Mon, 10-06-2008 - 9:59pm

((((((HUGS)))))) Susan.

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2007
Mon, 10-06-2008 - 9:59pm

{{{Hugs}}} Susan, I think if you and hubby are tired of waiting, then you should go for it.

Remembering o

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2008
Mon, 10-06-2008 - 10:22pm

He is sooo great and he would be on board with pretty much as whatever I want to do.

  

Photobucket

Pages