Find a Conversation
|Sun, 11-09-2008 - 6:59pm|
I donâ€™t like how recently is has been incredibly tough for me to meet up with friends or answer their phone calls. I got a phone call from a friend todayâ€¦the one who likes to spread everyoneâ€™s news. Recently I have come to dread seeing her name on the caller ID in fear that she will be calling to tell me someone elseâ€™s wonderful news that yet again someone else is pregnant. Iâ€™m trying my best to stay in touch with friendsâ€¦so I answered the phoneâ€¦out of my own guilt of being a bad friend. Then came the news it seems I was guaranteed to hearâ€¦another friend is pregnant with her 6-month boyfriend and they are getting married. The friend calling doesnâ€™t know that we have been TTC so I tried not to get upset when she asked if there was something she was out of the loop on and if I were pregnant as well. I painstakingly told her I wasnâ€™t. She followed that by saying if you were pregnant I guess we could manage 3 baby showers. 3 baby showers!! That was too much. I never expected to hear of 2 pregnancies in one call. It immediately seemed that I should have never answered the phone! It seems my friend must have assumed I had already heard of the other pregnancyâ€¦I could not bring myself to ask who and make her aware that I hadnâ€™t heard the news. I have a feeling itâ€™s a friend that we had just finished talking about who said she would start TTC in September. Iâ€™m afraid if I heard it was indeed that person it would be way too much to handle. As it is, even without knowing for sure and without asking how far along either of them were, I politely ended the conversation and feel like I'm in shock. Iâ€™ve never wished any troubles for anyone TTC, but always hoped that mine would end before I heard the news of this person becoming pregnant. My friend calling also wanted all of usâ€¦including the 2 that are pregnantâ€¦to meet up around Thanksgiving. As of now, there is no way that I feel I could meet up with them. I hate feeling guilty and feeling that I am such a terrible friend. Itâ€™s not even that Iâ€™m jealous, Iâ€™m just sad for myself and that itâ€™s not me calling with the good news. I hate feeling that I canâ€™t suck up my sad feelings to give others an enjoyable night and take joy in their good news that seems to come with ease for most of them.
Me (28), DH (29). TTC #1 since March 2006. 3 unsuccessful rounds of Clomid & 3 IUI's with Letrozole. BFP on 3rd IUI, but had a miscarriage at 7w (A girl). After, we tried another IUI with Follistim resulting in a cyst. Our next IUI resulted in a conversion to IVF. Since then, another IUI, a regular IVF cycle and now we are in the 2ww for our 6th IUI (this time with Letrozole & Follistim)