UGH!!! (really long rant... beware)
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|Wed, 05-20-2009 - 3:47pm|
So... I'm like done for forever. I swear nothing seems to go right EVERY. Work is being crappy. They cut me to twenty hours a week and took my insurance, but magically I keep getting hours added to my schedule so I end up working full time with no benefits. On top of that, my bosses keep being assholes about it. Acting like I'm ungrateful for all the random extra hours that they throw at me whenever they feel like and expect me to cover. Ummm, I'm pretty sure I applied for a full time position, not an on-call position. The company even has me working at a location that over an hour away next week in their Showroom. I'm pissed! I'm not on Showroom payroll anymore, so no bonuses, SPIFFS, NOTHING! And yet they expect me to just do it.
Then, I can't get pregnant, but I keep having dreams that I have a baby. It's like the devil is taking his sweet time torturing me for fun. Here... have dreams about your beautiful, wonderful baby, but sorry... no cigar.
I know more people that are pregnant "accidentally" right now tham I think I will ever know in my whole life. As a matter of fact, I just so happen to know three Nicoles that are "accidentally" pregnant... that is just Nicoles.
I hate it! All of it! Besides all of that my dad's cancer is getting worse. We're trying to get him into a clinical trial of some meds, but everything just takes SO LONG.
It's all a cruel joke, I swear it is. I'm trying to find somethign to take my mind off all of it. I started working out more and training at our taekwondo school more, but I'm so out of sorts with everything that the working out is becoming more of an obsession than something to do to relieve stress. I even had to get put on a meal plan because I wasn't eating enough to be able to function properly. I don't like eating when I'm upset... which is the opposite of most people.
Anyway... I'm just mad at the world right now. I told my DH that I was going to go around randomly punching people today. Sorry about the rant. I just didn't know where else I could go to honestly just bitch and not have anyone get mad at me.
Happily married to DH since March 15, 2008
September 2008: Diagnosed with cervical cancer and HPV. Cells were removed in two spots via freezing, minor scar tissue. Gave up caffeine and smoking.
Cycle 1: No O
Cycle 2: No O
Cycle 3: No O
Cycle 4: O'd for the first time! Took prenatal, fish oil, calcium, acidophilus, EPO and B-6
Cycle 5: No O, same vitamins.
Cycle 6: O'd late due to stress. Just taking a prenatal this cycle. Also, V8 Splash mmm