Why is this bothering me so much?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-2009
Why is this bothering me so much?
27
Thu, 12-31-2009 - 9:25am

So I told you all about my BFF who is pg again (the one who made sure she told me that they tried for 4 months this time... awe poor thing) (also the one who started ttc when I did and is on her second successful pg)

Anywho, she posted some pics on Facebook and also sent out her Christmas pics and there were a few of her 15 month old daughter wearing a T-shirt that says "I have a secret" on the front and "I'm going to be a Big Sister" on the back. It has me so upset and frankly so jealous. I can't imagine being able to buy such a shirt or feeling confident enough to announce a pregnancy on facebook at 8 weeks. Honestly, I am having a really hard time being around her right now. I don't want to hear about her pg, it just really hurts. I know it is irrational and selfish of me but I just really wish I could avoid her and her perfect little life. She tries to complain to me about whatever and I just don't want to hear it. Like for instance, she is telling me last night how she is feeling fat because her clothes aren't fitting her. Um, no, you're not fat you're pg biotch, quit complaining!

okay, just needed to vent to people who understand. I can't tell DH this or he would think I was evil.

 
edited to say... I don't feel this way about any of the preggers here at all! I am overjoyed with the pg's here.

Kelly

I'm 37, DH is 41 and we are TTC #1. We've had 2 unexplained miscarriages and a bout with Asherman's Syndrome but we're determined.

IUI #1 = BFN

IUI #2 (Aug 09) = BFN

On to IVF - stims start Sept 14th!  IVF Canceled:( converted to IUI...

BFP!!!
13dpo - 65
15dpo - 128
19dpo - 495
23dpo - 1987
...another miscarriage
Sad and trying to decide what steps to take next.




Edited 12/31/2009 9:27 am ET by cl-lookingformy1st

 

Kelly

I'm 38, DH is 42 and we are TTC #1. We've had 3 unexplained miscarriages and a bout with Asherman's Syndrome but we're determined.

BFP #4! - 1/

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2009
Thu, 12-31-2009 - 9:43am

Awe Kelly, you're not evil at all for feeling this way....I'm so sorry your BFFs PGcy is getting to you so much.


I think it is really hard for us to comprehend announcing a PG at 8weeks b/c of all we go through...Hell, after this many years, it seems like a pipe dream to be able to announce one at all! Let alone that early into it.

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Faith (35) Matt (40)

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-2009
Thu, 12-31-2009 - 9:54am

Faith, thanks it is nice to hear someone say I'm not evil. I feel like only here I would get that support.

I have thought about telling her how much it hurts but I am too afraid she will just feel I am being a brat. I know it was hard for her to tell me she was pg, she knows how much it has hurt me when others announced their pregnancies. I think I am just going to have to pull away from her. I get so bummed every time I am around her now and that is one thing I am vowing to do this year is not subject myself to situations that make me hurt.

That is a sweet friend you have that she was hurting so much to have to tell you about her pregnancy.

 

Kelly

I'm 38, DH is 42 and we are TTC #1. We've had 3 unexplained miscarriages and a bout with Asherman's Syndrome but we're determined.

BFP #4! - 1/
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-11-2008
Thu, 12-31-2009 - 10:13am
You are definitely not evil Kelly.

Isabel
Mom to Sebastian Robert after 3+ years of infertility

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-2009
Thu, 12-31-2009 - 10:20am
Yes, you are so right Isabel. She was definitely meaning well, I need to keep some space from her for a while. We are having dinner with them tonight and supposed to watch football tomorrow at her house but I am going to bail on the football.

 

Kelly

I'm 38, DH is 42 and we are TTC #1. We've had 3 unexplained miscarriages and a bout with Asherman's Syndrome but we're determined.

BFP #4! - 1/
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-11-2008
Thu, 12-31-2009 - 11:05am
Sounds like a plan.

Isabel
Mom to Sebastian Robert after 3+ years of infertility

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2006
Thu, 12-31-2009 - 11:51am

Kelly,


Big hugs to you.


You are not evil, you are human. You and your DH have been thru so much you would think your BFF would be a little more sensitive.


As far as your dh

Pregnancy%20ticker
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2008
Thu, 12-31-2009 - 1:09pm

( ( ( ( H U G S ) ) ) ) I probably would feel the same way. Luckily, I don't have anyone on Facebook (or around me) right now who are PG (except for my delusional SIL who is faking one). When my other SIL was pg, I dreaded going to my MIL's because I might hear about it. When my neice was pg, and right after she had Bella, I couldn't deal with her. I just couldn't be around her at all. She wasn't saying anything, I just couldn't deal with the fact that she had what I wanted and I felt terrible about it. For a while even the pg's here had me a little overwhelmed and full of jealousy. But I went to see my niece on X-mas and all those feeling are gone now. Maybe you should take a break from her for a while. It did wonders for me. Take some steps back from her, maybe be too busy. I wasn't super close to my niece at the time so it worked well for me. Maybe you could tell her this is really difficult for you? I don't know (and DH is bugging me right now so it's not helping). If she knows how hard this is for you she should understand if you need to step back a little.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2008
Thu, 12-31-2009 - 1:40pm

You are not evil at all, you are human and I think all of us on this board have felt that way.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2009
Thu, 12-31-2009 - 4:29pm

Kelly, I had to let go of one of my BFF's too. First of all, she never even told me she was TTC. Not that it's manditory that you announce it, but if we're BFF's and we talk everyday then wth. I certainly let my BFF's know when I was going off the BCP's. Now she has a babygirl. She arrived in August. I sent a congratulatory text and that was it. It may sound mean, but I have to do what keeps me sane at this point. BTW, she started trying 5mths before me. The exact time I

 Lori


 


DH and I are 33yrs old. TTC #1 since May08| July09- Dx POF|  Aug09- started Premarin, Metformin, and Lupron

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-2009
Thu, 12-31-2009 - 5:20pm
LOL, that's funny Lori! Thanks for making me laugh. I agree with doing what makes us sane first and foremost.

 

Kelly

I'm 38, DH is 42 and we are TTC #1. We've had 3 unexplained miscarriages and a bout with Asherman's Syndrome but we're determined.

BFP #4! - 1/

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