Why tell me that?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2008
Why tell me that?
17
Thu, 01-14-2010 - 3:06am

Dh went to see his family today and on the way home had to just tell me that his brother, who already has a kid they can't afford, knocked up his new girlfriend. This is the brother whose baby mama lived in a trailer and my niece got covered in bug bites. These two don't even have a place to live, they are living in his grandparents attic. The new girlfriend won't use protection and won't work. They can't even afford his girl, why the h3ll do they need another kid!?! I am so pissed off. They fight all the time, among other stupid stuff that I am too mad to mention. I am sitting here crying and yelling at DH on the phone while he is telling me. I feel like I am never going to have another child. Why do stupid people get kids and us people who deserve and can afford them can't. I am sorry, but I just needed to rant. I really need your support.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-2009
Thu, 01-14-2010 - 8:43am

Suzi, It is maddening isn't it?? Why can people like that successfully get pg and have kids when they can't take care of them and here we sit longing for a child to take care of, desperate to hold a baby in our arms? It is just not fair. And it really angers me.

Hugs Suzi, sorry DH sprung that news on you.

 

Kelly

I'm 38, DH is 42 and we are TTC #1. We've had 3 unexplained miscarriages and a bout with Asherman's Syndrome but we're determined.

BFP #4! - 1/
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-11-2008
Thu, 01-14-2010 - 9:23am
I'm sorry that this got sprung on you.

Isabel
Mom to Sebastian Robert after 3+ years of infertility

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2008
Thu, 01-14-2010 - 9:24am

Ugh, Suzi, It is just not fair!!!

~Christine~


TTC since 6/2007. 
IVF #1 Jan 2009 - BFN
IVF# 2  April 2009 - BFN
IVF# 3 July

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2009
Thu, 01-14-2010 - 9:59am

Awe Suzi, I'm sorry.

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Faith (35) Matt (40)

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2006
Thu, 01-14-2010 - 11:03am

I am sorry that this was sprung on you. You have every right to be upset because it isn't fair!!!


I find it incredibly upsetting that we are all trying so hard and monitoring everything under the sun (BBT, OPK's, etc) and

Pregnancy%20ticker
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2008
Thu, 01-14-2010 - 1:52pm

Thanks, girls. I'm feeling slightly better this morning. It was late (or really early) when I posted and I'm PMSing (sorta, I've got the cramps but nothing else). I just wish he had told me today, or at least when he got home. He knows news like this is not to be sprung on me. This new girlfriend has already had 2 scares and neither will get on protection. It just infuriates me. The situation with my niece is already so unstable and now they are bringing another one into the mix. They are so immature. For example... they live at the grandparents and my other bil lives there too. He wants to get a job with his brother and girlfriend won't drive them both, nor will let them take her car for the day, even though she goes no where. They also share a wireless internet connection, each gets it for one week. She takes it all the time but if other bil takes it she docks him one day. UGH it like kindergarten. And the baby mama to my niece is just as bad. If we don't do her bidding, i.e. buy her smokes, drive her somewhere, she holds my niece over daddy's head and won't give her to him. When one bil wouldn't take her somewhere she told the cops he was molesting my niece. (He does have an offence against him, but it was for pics of his underage WIFE! She was 17. They are another whole messed up story.) I feel like I'm living a Jerry Springer show. I can just imagine what this preg will do to her. AACCKK!!! Can I divorce the rest of his family?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2006
Thu, 01-14-2010 - 3:23pm

You sound like me,

Pregnancy%20ticker
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2008
Thu, 01-14-2010 - 3:45pm

Thanks, Nat! The stupid thing about this is that you can get FREE birth control. He won't cover it and she won't go to planned parenthood for free BC. We told them all about that the last 2 times she thought she was pg. UGH

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-2009
Thu, 01-14-2010 - 4:34pm

Suzi, we all have those family members (DH's or our own) we wish we didn't have to deal with and swear they should be on tv! It's just crazy sometimes. I can't believe that girlfriend she sounds like a real piece of work! docking people days for time on the computer? wth?

And I don't get the not using birth control thing. I think it is an excuse.

 

Kelly

I'm 38, DH is 42 and we are TTC #1. We've had 3 unexplained miscarriages and a bout with Asherman's Syndrome but we're determined.

BFP #4! - 1/
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2008
Thu, 01-14-2010 - 5:52pm

Exactly!!!! I swear DH's 2 little brothers cannot pick a decent girlfriend to save their lives! I thought this one was a gem when I first met her, albeit a little annoying. She took in his daughter like she was her own. Then little things began showing. I think she took mothering my niece a little too far. But at the same time I am very angry with the baby mama. They both pick girls who end up running the relationship 100%. It just makes my head spin. I sometimes try to control some things, but our relationship is very close to 50-50. I allow him freedom to go hang out without me (which they don't) and we come to decisions together. DH's mom is the same way. When she moved in with FIL she took down all his things and put up all hers. And then will kick him out of HIS house. DH has given me freedom to decorate how I want but he still has tons of his things around. Even if I don't really like it, I find a place for it. UGH *bangs head on laptop*

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