Another Negative Pregnancy Test
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|Thu, 09-26-2013 - 7:58am|
I never would've thought in a million years that a pregnancy test would so much power.
I never thought that I would be so depressed and ready to climb back into bed and never get out at the signs of my period.
But here I am today depressed and on the verge of tears all because I had hoped this month would be the one. All month I thought "could this finally be it?" I did wonder if it really was because I had no signs of my period or anything....no breast tenderness at ovulation no nothing and as it got closer to when I thought my period would start still nothing. I don't even know why I would've thought I could be pregnant when I showed no signs. None. And wouldn't you know it that the minute that test said the infamous "Not Pregnant" the signs of my period to come started.
But I will say that it is rather bittersweet seeing as how I went years never being able to have my period on my own until I started the clomid. Well no clomid for me this month due to having the HSG done.
But I will say something that has come out of this is that we finally got my husbands sample in to be tested and although they said the motility was on the low end of normal the count was very high...so in their words they kinda cancelled eachother out.
So maybe October will be our month, I am kinda starting to feel pressure.....after the results came back for my husband they told me that if I didn't get pregnant in three months that they would be sending my to an endocrinologist. Why would they say something like that to me, it's not as if I feel I am under enough pressure to get this show on the road. I don't know why they would so soon considering that my hormones only got to an acceptable level in July and I had that HSG done in August....so why all of this pressure?! This is just creating more stress because I don't want to have to go see another doctor.
I would give anything just to see one positive test, I have never even seen one. Not for myself anyway. I don't know what it feels like to see one, to think wow there is a little baby in there. I am at the end of my rope today.