Another Newbie in the 2 week wait day 6
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| Sat, 11-17-2007 - 11:05pm |
Hi Everyone
This is my first post here.
I am on day six of the dreaded two week wait. My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for a little over a year. We did three unsuccessful rounds on Clomid and just completed our first round of injections (Protocol was 21 days on the BCP then 14 days of Lupron and the 20 days total on Menopur and Estradiol. I am also using those lovely Prometrium suppositoties! Thanks to you girls who were so candid about the experience....I could so relate!
I am 36 and have never been pregnant. We are one of those couples with totally unexplained infertility. I have great FSH #'s, lots of eggs, ovulate regularly etc. etc. Husband has great counts too. I started this first round of injections with 15 follicles in each ovary. ED was worried about overstimulating so they had me on a super low dose for very long time. The bummer is that while there were so many follicles...only two ended up growing to workable size. I am trying my best to be positive, but it is so hard. Part of me wants to enjoy the fantasy of maybe being pregnant while the other part of me wants to be ready for the disappointment. I am going to do my best to not test prior to Thanksgiving. That would be approx 12 DPO. I just don't want to do that to myself and my loved ones. Especially since a BFN would devastate me as it does every time and then I would start doing the crazy bargaining and delusional thing where I think maybe it is too early. That is followed by spending lots of bucks on a bazillion tests. I don't know if you all can relate but that is my pattern every try. I am also a little bummed about the fact that if I do get a BFN I have to go back on the BCP for another 21 days:(
On a postive note....my older sister who is 43 is about to deliver a healthy baby boy next month! She conceived naturally at 42 and lost the fetus to Trisomy 21. After that she underwent 8 rounds of IUI and two rounds of IVF. Throughout that entire time (I wasn't trying yet) I constantly heard and felt her pain and struggle. My mantra to her was always to tell her that one way or another she was going to be someone's Mommy. I was right and I need to start telling myself the same thing and believing it.
I look forward to chatting with and supporting those of you who would like to connect. Unfortunately, I know a whole lot about fertility drugs, IUI's, IVF's etc as a result of having two sisters who went through it all before me.
Thanks for reading. It helps me so much to stay active and writing and responding in these kinds of forums is super beneficial to me.
:) Kim

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Hi, Kim!
I hope your Thanksgiving was great! Mine was calm and relaxing and delicious, so no complaints here. I made it through that day fine w/o testing but yesterday was difficult, and today I am already thinking about it. How are you holding up? Any sign of AF? I thought maybe I saw a little bit of her this morning, so I am feeling a little deflated. But I will wait it out. It is day 28 for me so if I get it, it should be today. I was thinking I would let myself test tomorrow if still no sign of AF but that's stupid right, since just the next day I'm going in for the official Dr. test?! Oh, and I'm doing THAT after school Monday. That way, if it's a BFN, I can just come home (as opposed to stopping by their office before school). It has been really stressful trying to fit all these appts. in around school. I missed a few days and my students were definitely noticing and saying things like, "did you forget about us?" which made me feel awful. Of course they have no idea what's going on and it's really hard to just put on a happy face all the time!
Anyway, just checking in with you. And yes, I live in Alaska, Anchorage to be more exact. It's freakin' ridiculous right now, in the 40s and raining. What's up with that? I much prefer snow! It's a mess out there. How's the weather in SF?
Take care, write anytime.
Kim C.
Hi Kim
Hooray for making it through w/o testing!!! I know exactly what you mean about that HPT calling your name today. Don't do it!! That is what I keep telling myself. I still can't believe how in sync our timing is. Monday is my big day too and I am also typically on a 28 cycle. However....mine got a little delayed when I used Clomid (it was more like 3o) and then when they put me on BCP's before this first injection cycle, I never got it. I am also feeling a bit defeated. I have every one of my typical PMS symptoms. I feel like it is coming any second and I do not have any symptom that would lead me to believe that a BFP is in my future. Don't get me wrong, I am trying to attribute everything including my desire to eat all day to possible pregnancy. There is absolutely nothing different then all the other times when I have gotten a BFN:(
I have lots of friends who are teachers. I sometimes wonder why I didn't go that route. Although my job is for the most part rewarding. It can be pretty tough too. Ironically, in the last few months I have been involved with two cases with newborns born pos tox for meth and Heroin. Let me tell you how hard it is to go to the Perinatal Unit and see these women who used drugs throughout their entire pregnancies, smoked and had no prenatal care with their relatively healthy infants! I just can't dwell on it because it makes me crazy.
Sorry to hear about the bitter weather. It has been absolutely beautiful here. On Thanksgiving it was sunny and about 69. Today, it is a little cooler but I still can't complain! I needed to get out of the house earlier today to try and get my mind off the obsession. I took my dog for a long, long, walk. One of the best things about living in SF is that we can walk anywhere. It is actually a lot easier to walk then to find parking. Once you get used to the hills, it is great. We live right in the middle of the City so we have lots of fabulous neighborhoods surrounding us. Each neighborhood has its own unique identity. We live in Hayes Valley. Our neighborhood is known for fantastic Ethnic restraunts, great (but extremely expensive) boutique shopping and lots of artist studios and the opera. Our neighborhood is bordered by the famous Haight Ashbury (think acid and tie dye) and the Castro (famous gay part of town). The dog and I walked to the Marina (home to lots of Yuppies and some great shopping and bars). The walk is only about 2.5 miles each way, but about 2 of the miles are straight and I mean straight uphill. The hills are so steep that there are stairs built into the sidewalks. Good for the thighs! My puppy goes up about 10 steps and they lays down flat on his belly and refuses to move until I pick him up and carry him:)
I have never been to Alaska but I would like to visit one day. My college roommate was from Fairbanks and my step-grandmother (now deceased) was from Anchorage. I think I told you that my husband is in Virginia at a baptism? Interestingly, his friend who now lives in Virginia is also from Alaska and the parents are at the baptism too. They said the same thing as you about the frigid weather they left behind! My husband Steve has quite a few friends who are originally from Alaska. Steve went to college at Gonzaga University in Spokane, WA. It is pretty funny because his buddies from college are tighter then a gaggle of girls. That is actually one of things that really attracted me to him....the fact that he has lots of great guy friends.
Were you born and raised in Alaska? Have you been to CA?
I strongly support you waiting until Monday to have the real deal done! I also think it is a brilliant idea to do it after class so that you have no further responsibilities that day! I am supposed to take a HPT on Monday if AF doesn't come by then. After my HPT the clinic will do a blood test before we start the next round. My AF may very well be delayed as a result of the Progesterone I am taking. I hear that a delayed AF is rather common when taking Prometrium.
I know that as usual, I am being a trifle longwinded here. Don't feel compelled to answer all my questions:) I am trying to give us both a diversion here....but I am also sincerely interested!
Thanks for being so supportive and such an interesting, fun and funny diversion!!!
Kim B.
Let us know how it goes.
Thanks so much for your thoughtful message. If it wasn't 10:30PM here, I would go out and buy the book right now! A project for tomorrow:) I am not feeling so positive about this round. I can practically feel AF on her horrible, imminent way. Theoretically, I could have tested either today or for sure tomorrow.....and usually I am the compulsive, obsessive testing type. It is different this time. I tried so hard to think and act positively for myself and my DH that I just don't feel ready for the news. I am also feeling relatively certain that AF will arrive by tomorrow:( The good news is that I am so grateful to have found this site and all of you wonderful women here. Disappointment isn't any easier or more palatable, but it is definitely less lonely. I know what you mean about the friend thing and the shame and the embarrassment and the fear. Thank god I have my sister and now her success story. I feel as if I have been dealing with infertility for years......your words helped me to realize that I have. I was my sister's number one support person while she was going through her process and now I am dealing with my own. I only wish that she lived closer!!!! I am grateful to have her nonetheless and happy to be meeting new online friends and supporters and people to support in return. Thanks again for taking the time to reply to me. I will look forward to hearing more about your journey and to being available to help you through the rough spots too. Finally, suggesting that I try and relax (and also acknowledging the difficulty of doing just that) is good advice. My poor puppy (read: best baby replacement in the world) has had to put up with me all weekend. I have totally become "one of those people" that I swore I would never become. You should have seen the poor, ridiculous looking little thing today as I shamelessly cooked him meatloaf and sweet potato's and dressed him up in a holiday outfit!!! God save me and him!
Have a great rest of your long weekend!
Kim B.
Hi Kim,
I went online last night to this message board after I cried for a while after I opened up the thank you card from my cousin for her baby gift, seeing it signed from the "three" of them just got to
Oh my goodness! I am totally jumping into your conversation but I know of Dr. Toth and also have that book! My friend Jessi lent it to me, in fact, she WORKS for Dr. Toth in NYC! My sister is one of her best friends (they were roommates in Spanish harlem), and I visited them there last April. Jessi loves working for Dr. Toth, and it has inspired her to go back to school to be a PA. That reminds me, she lent me that book, which I really need to return.
Gosh, small world, huh? Maybe you even met Jessi when you were seeing Dr. Toth? She has naturally curly hair and is in her mid-20s. She assists him with procedures & such.
Good luck in all of your baby-making, as well!!!
Kim C.
Hang in there...I'm trying to. It's Sunday afternoon and still no AF although I'm like you, I keep having twinges of PMS symptoms. At least I think I do. I can't tell, anymore. Tomorrow afternoon can't come soon enough, I tell ya. You know, I'm going to burst into tears regardless of the results, just for the stress release, you know?! I did join a gym recently and today went to a Yoga class. It was so hard! It was VERY crowded and so hot in there, but it was good. I am trying to better my body and focus on getting back into shape. I just can't let the IF stuff consume my life anymore. I am anxious to take a break from it, unless, of course, I get a BFP. Which will completely change my sour attitude. I don't even dare to let my mind wander in that direction, though! I was pretty excited I made it this long with no AF but then I have taken Clomid & Prometrium so maybe that's the reason I haven't started.
I miss wine. That's the only good part about starting my period, is I let myself drink a glass or two! Or three, or four!!! =) Just not past ovulation.
Yes, AK is beautiful, but not right now. If you do come, aim for June or July. Those are the prettiest months. We are in some serious need of snow right now. It's been raining and disgusting! I have been to SF before, but it's been years and years. I would like to come back. I miss travellling, but since my husband went back to school, we just don't have the money. Someday.
So, I think I will go feed my face. DH is sleeping, so I can't really get all my stuff done. I don't mind exercising, but I really suck at dieting!
What is your puppy's name? I have a big, fat cat named Chester. He is my little (big) baby. He weighs 20 pounds. He's a big hunk of love and is currently curled up on my feet on the couch. I love laptops!
Hang in there! We can do it!
Oh, and did you see that post about Dr. Toth? Such a weird coincidence, but my baby sister's BF lives in NYC and works for Dr. Toth! I visited them last April and she gave me his book to read. All about chlamydia, mostly. Such a small world!!! My sister's friend's name is Jessie and she assists with the procedures & such. She loves working there and has decided to go back to school to be a PA. Anyway...
Take good care & keep me posted, EITHER WAY!!!
Kim C.
Okay...we have almost made it! I had myself 100% convinced that AF was here this morning. Although she has not yet reared her ugly head, I am already trying to emotionally ready myself for the next step. Since a BFN will mean that I need to start on another 21 days of BCP, I need to find out one way or another tomorrow. If I get a BFN in the AM then I can call the RE office and they will have me do the required R/O blood test tomorrow afternoon. That way I can get the train out of the station again starting Tuesday. This morning in the middle of one of my breakdowns I just could not wrap my head around starting the entire process over again and living through another two months of this. It usually takes me a few days to get back on track and the sadness seems to change into action.
It is great that you are using exercise to manage the stress. The RE suggested that I stop running and stop doing my Bikram yoga. I still walk and strength train but it is not the same. I think the lack of the more intense exercise coupled with the hormones in the meds is the reason that I have gained about eight pounds since I started the fertility treatments. That does not make me feel too good, but I know it is for a good cause. (I am sure the weight gain has nothing to do with the fact that over the past two weeks I thought I might die if I did not make homemade coffee cake (I haven't eaten this in about 15 years and cookies...made two entire batches!!) Oh well. For the most part I am pretty on top of my diet, exercise and weight. So I guess I should just go easy on myself. My sister said she gained an average of four pounds on each cycle of the hormones. She assures me that it is predominantly water weight that goes away:)
My puppy's name is Ronny (pronounced Roe Nee). He is named after my favorite basketball player, Ronny Turiaf. He is a five month old Shih Tzu and I have turned into one of those crazy dog ladies. I have been begging for a dog for years and my husband finally recently gave in. I think he figured I could use a little baby replacement and believe it or not, he really, really helps!!! Also, much to his surprise, my husband is in love with this dog. It is a pretty hysterical sight to see my 6"6 husband walking this tiny little fluff ball about town:)
Yes.....please let me know what happens for you, either way too. I think that is one of the parts I hate the most....having to tell my husband and my family and hearing them trying to comfort me. In some ways I wish I could just send them all a little email and have that be that! I am still crossing my fingers that you get a BFN!!!
:) Kim B.
Dear Ronny's Mama,
Gasp! Re-read your last line! =) I know what you meant but at first I was like...wha??? Change that N to a P!!!
So, EIGHT whole pounds, huh??? I got you beat, sistah. I have gained T-W-E-N-T-Y pounds THIS YEAR since I went off the pill in January. This lovely little roller coaster ride of IF has NOT been good for my figure. I don't know what it is, exactly, probably just a combination of all of it: IF, getting older, hormones, stress, etc. So I am curious, why did your doc say to stop running & doing yoga? I have been doing both of those things, to relieve stress, lose weight, etc. I thought exercise was GOOD! Plus I have heard some woman get pregnant once their weight is within the normal range. Mine is, actually, still, but this is NOT my body. I weighed 135 pounds last year for my wedding, and I would be happy to get back there eventually. Even if I am pregnant, I want to continue to work out as long as I can, otherwise I will never get rid of this weight! If I'm at more of a healthy weight at the start, then maybe I can lose it quicker after the baby. Oh, isn't that sweet, I'm talking positive, here.
Oops, dinner is ready, more later!
YAY on no AF, yet!!! Woo woo!
Kim C.
Hey, there!
What's the status? Did you test this morning? I think the time difference between you & I is like 2 hours or something. Today is day 30 for me and still no AF. Do I dare to think??? I am going to my RE right after school today, at 4:30. So I'll know one way or another. Finally! I get to the point where I'm like ...can I just start my freakin' period and be DONE with this?! But of course, that's not what I want.
This has got to be hard for you without your DH. When does he come home? I am thinking good thoughts for you!!! You've made it this far!
Please, please keep in touch & remember I want to hear either way! We can be happy or sad together.
Kim C.
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