Another Newbie in the 2 week wait day 6

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2007
Another Newbie in the 2 week wait day 6
37
Sat, 11-17-2007 - 11:05pm

Hi Everyone

This is my first post here.

I am on day six of the dreaded two week wait. My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for a little over a year. We did three unsuccessful rounds on Clomid and just completed our first round of injections (Protocol was 21 days on the BCP then 14 days of Lupron and the 20 days total on Menopur and Estradiol. I am also using those lovely Prometrium suppositoties! Thanks to you girls who were so candid about the experience....I could so relate!

I am 36 and have never been pregnant. We are one of those couples with totally unexplained infertility. I have great FSH #'s, lots of eggs, ovulate regularly etc. etc. Husband has great counts too. I started this first round of injections with 15 follicles in each ovary. ED was worried about overstimulating so they had me on a super low dose for very long time. The bummer is that while there were so many follicles...only two ended up growing to workable size. I am trying my best to be positive, but it is so hard. Part of me wants to enjoy the fantasy of maybe being pregnant while the other part of me wants to be ready for the disappointment. I am going to do my best to not test prior to Thanksgiving. That would be approx 12 DPO. I just don't want to do that to myself and my loved ones. Especially since a BFN would devastate me as it does every time and then I would start doing the crazy bargaining and delusional thing where I think maybe it is too early. That is followed by spending lots of bucks on a bazillion tests. I don't know if you all can relate but that is my pattern every try. I am also a little bummed about the fact that if I do get a BFN I have to go back on the BCP for another 21 days:(

On a postive note....my older sister who is 43 is about to deliver a healthy baby boy next month! She conceived naturally at 42 and lost the fetus to Trisomy 21. After that she underwent 8 rounds of IUI and two rounds of IVF. Throughout that entire time (I wasn't trying yet) I constantly heard and felt her pain and struggle. My mantra to her was always to tell her that one way or another she was going to be someone's Mommy. I was right and I need to start telling myself the same thing and believing it.

I look forward to chatting with and supporting those of you who would like to connect. Unfortunately, I know a whole lot about fertility drugs, IUI's, IVF's etc as a result of having two sisters who went through it all before me.

Thanks for reading. It helps me so much to stay active and writing and responding in these kinds of forums is super beneficial to me.

:) Kim

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2007
Mon, 11-26-2007 - 10:53am

Sorry about the last line. I was rushing off to answer the phone. OOPS:) I reluctantly tested this morning. Like I said, I felt nothing different then usual. I couldn't find my hidden test in the car trunk. I must have obsessively used it the last round. I went to Walgreens and purchased the generic test and just one. Took it this morning about an hour ago. It was a BFP. Can you believe it? I can't and I am going to go rush my doctor's office this morning to ask for a blood test. My mind is playing all kinds of tricks. Th line was really faint so I am imagining that I willed it to be there. Since I was feeling so negative about all this, I cheaped out and only bought one test. Usually I get about 10! Okay, so I am very, very, cautiously optimistic. I still feel like AF will be here any second and have lots of cramping. But for this second, I am going to enjoy seeing that BFP!!! I will keep my fingers crossed and double crossed for you this afternoon!! Let me know!

:) Kim B.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2007
Mon, 11-26-2007 - 4:18pm

Hey!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2007
Mon, 11-26-2007 - 5:30pm

Okay....we are on major delay.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2007
Mon, 11-26-2007 - 8:54pm

Gasp!!! Oh my GOODNESS! I am SOOOOOOO freakin' happy for you! That is soooo awesome! Yay, yay, yay!!!!!!

So...I drove to my Dr. office, gave blood, they said it would be 2 hours before they would know. So I came home and tested. It's a BFN. So I suppose there is a slight chance it's just not showing up on there, but I am very deflated. Still no AF. WTF? I am majorly confused. I guess I am just late, due to drugs. Well. I won't totally give up until I get the call tonight but I'm not feeling good about it at all. If I was, there should have been a 2nd pink line, even faint. I just ran down and checked it again and nothing. Poor me.

And I was hoping our results would be twins, too! (Me & you both positive, I mean).

Have you told your husband yet? When does he come home?

Keep in touch and share some of that baby dust!!!!
Kim C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2007
Mon, 11-26-2007 - 9:29pm

Oh Kim...I"m soo happy for you!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2007
Mon, 11-26-2007 - 9:37pm

Hey...I just got a BFN w/ a HPT. I went in to the Dr.'s today for a blood test, and I have to wait another hour to get the results. F*CK! Excuse my language but this is so freakin' frustrating! I tried not to indulge in pregnancy thoughts this time, but I couldn't help it! I fantasized about it all the time.

Life is really unfair and now I'm just pissed.

Happy for everyone else, but pissed at someone ?! for me!

Sorry to vent,
Kim

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2007
Mon, 11-26-2007 - 9:44pm

I know what you feel like.....This whole experience is just F***ing maddening!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2007
Mon, 11-26-2007 - 11:24pm

Politimy

Hang in there. How early are you in testing? I totally understand the whole false hope thing, but depending on what day you are in that could provide some useful info about your possibilities of still getting a BFN. If it is not this month, it will be another month! I know that this doesn't help all of that much, but I know from the painful firsthand experience. What are you most worried about? Keep me posted!

Kim B.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2007
Mon, 11-26-2007 - 11:37pm

Kim

I am blowing a virtual tornado of baby dust your way!!!!

I know the whole false hope thing all too well, but you never can tell. I was 100% convinced that my AF came. I even put a tampon in. Have they called with the results of your blood test yet? If it is an ugly BFN then they likely will tell you to stop the progesterone and this should allow AF to come. The only really positive thing I can say here is that sometimes unsuccessful cycles can be highly diagnostic. In fact, as much as I was tortured by the fact that this first round with injections nearly took 60 days from start to finish, it was good because we found out how thin my lining was too start and we found out that although I have lots and lots of follicles that it took nearly 20 days of stimulating to get two to grow to the right size. I guess the best part is the BFP. So it is easy to say how great the whole diagnostic bit was now.

I am sorry. I know exactly how a BFN feels. All I can say is that with every BFN (there has to be a BFP waiting somewhere). I think I told you that we tried dilligently on our own for 10 months and then did three unsuccessful rounds of Clomid combined with five IUI's. The only thing that really seemed to get me through was a day or two of crying coupled with the knowledge that only a couple of more days until I would be back in action. My sister also had good advice for me. She said that the way she figured it....since it takes most couples an average of a year to get pregnant (w/ no fertility issues) she figured that she needed to give the RE at least 12 cycles.

I think you told me that this cycle you predominantly used Clomid? Were they giving you ultrasounds along the way? I only ask because it was very interesting for me to see exactly what was happening at each stage. How is your coverage? Any thoughts of what the next steps might be?

I am sorry about how much this hurts. I feel bad in a way to have been fortunate enough to get a BFP. I remember what it felt like every month to be sincerely happy for the ladies it worked for but to wonder, why not me and if it would ever be me. Let me know if you need a little break from me. (But believe me, I am not going away). I know it may sound weird but I definitely feel a connection to you. I believe wholeheartedly that people come into my life for reason and I plan to stick around until you get your own BFP. Think of me as your one woman cheering team.

I have only enjoyed the BFP for a second. I am now on to the other host of worries like will it stick...will things be okay...have I done something wrong already. All I can hold onto is the feeling that okay, it finally happened and that means it could happen again. I know it will happen for you......Hang in there.

:) Kim B.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2007
Tue, 11-27-2007 - 12:08am

Kim...


My blood test is Thursday morning....so I'm testing like 2 1/2 days early....I shouldn't have tested...but I was just going crazy with not knowing.