Another Newbie in the 2 week wait day 6
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| Sat, 11-17-2007 - 11:05pm |
Hi Everyone
This is my first post here.
I am on day six of the dreaded two week wait. My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for a little over a year. We did three unsuccessful rounds on Clomid and just completed our first round of injections (Protocol was 21 days on the BCP then 14 days of Lupron and the 20 days total on Menopur and Estradiol. I am also using those lovely Prometrium suppositoties! Thanks to you girls who were so candid about the experience....I could so relate!
I am 36 and have never been pregnant. We are one of those couples with totally unexplained infertility. I have great FSH #'s, lots of eggs, ovulate regularly etc. etc. Husband has great counts too. I started this first round of injections with 15 follicles in each ovary. ED was worried about overstimulating so they had me on a super low dose for very long time. The bummer is that while there were so many follicles...only two ended up growing to workable size. I am trying my best to be positive, but it is so hard. Part of me wants to enjoy the fantasy of maybe being pregnant while the other part of me wants to be ready for the disappointment. I am going to do my best to not test prior to Thanksgiving. That would be approx 12 DPO. I just don't want to do that to myself and my loved ones. Especially since a BFN would devastate me as it does every time and then I would start doing the crazy bargaining and delusional thing where I think maybe it is too early. That is followed by spending lots of bucks on a bazillion tests. I don't know if you all can relate but that is my pattern every try. I am also a little bummed about the fact that if I do get a BFN I have to go back on the BCP for another 21 days:(
On a postive note....my older sister who is 43 is about to deliver a healthy baby boy next month! She conceived naturally at 42 and lost the fetus to Trisomy 21. After that she underwent 8 rounds of IUI and two rounds of IVF. Throughout that entire time (I wasn't trying yet) I constantly heard and felt her pain and struggle. My mantra to her was always to tell her that one way or another she was going to be someone's Mommy. I was right and I need to start telling myself the same thing and believing it.
I look forward to chatting with and supporting those of you who would like to connect. Unfortunately, I know a whole lot about fertility drugs, IUI's, IVF's etc as a result of having two sisters who went through it all before me.
Thanks for reading. It helps me so much to stay active and writing and responding in these kinds of forums is super beneficial to me.
:) Kim

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Hi, Kim.
Thank you for your thoughtful message. For not having met, you seem to know me quite well. I told myself I wasn't going to even turn my computer on this morning. Then I did and thought, well, I'm only going to check my e-mail, but not iVillage. Then I saw 2 replies & I'm like, I'll only read them, not write back. It's just too much. Believe me, I am truly happy for you and wish you all the best. My jaw dropped to the floor when I read your message last night! You got the result all of us have been hoping for! And you TOTALLY deserve it! I had no idea you had gone through 5 rounds of IUIs! Holy crap! This was only my first one. I have done 2 rounds of Clomid, and yes, sonograms the whole step of the way. They have not found anything wrong. With either of us. My husband actually has 2 kids from a previous marriage that live with their mum in England. They are 15 and 20. He held me last night while I cried--he has been great. He asked my RE all sorts of questions when she called last night. We are going to take a break from all of this--my step-daughter is visiting in a couple of weeks and we just can't be doing the shots and the samples & stuff while she's here. So it'll just have to be sex, then after the holidays we will start up again with the treatments. I can do 3 more rounds of IUIs w/ Clomid, I think. I'm just exhausted thinking about it. January will have been a year for us. I only started seeing my RE in Sept., I think. My husband is going back to school and won't graduate until August so IVF isn't even a possiblity for a while. So....I think that's it. I so want to crawl up into a ball today & not face the world. I just feel so foolish. There is 1 teacher at my school who knows what I'm going through--of course she is pregnant right now. I hate the thought of showing up today and her seeing the disappointment on my face. Oh, well. I just feel like I have let everybody down. I had so many people rooting for me, you know?! Anyway, enough of my woe is me sh*t. Congrats to you, my friend, and enjoy this bliss! Please, please don't feel guilty because you are the happy ending we all yearn for! Without women like you, we would all give up! Thanks for giving us the strength to continue!!!
Take good care of yourself, little Mama.
Hi Kim
I don't know if you are checking messages here, but I just wanted to tell you that I am thinking about you and sending you a tornado of babydust:)
Kim B.
Hi Kim
Hang in there.God always has a plan...It must be so hard for you watching your sister be preg while you cant.How has this affected you.I know you must be happy for her but dont you sometimes feel jealous.I know I hate seeing pregnant woman.
Hi, Kim.
No, I haven't been checking the boards. I'm taking a break from all of it this month, maybe longer, I haven't decided. Oh, my goodness, my cat is licking my feet. No, that's not some code, I mean literally. What a weirdo. Even he seems to know something's up. Comforting me in his strange, sandpaper tongue like way? Anyway--I am okay. Although I had a moment of rage Wed. night and it unfortunately ended in some broken dishes. I took Thurs. off from school for a mental health day. My hubby has been great, very supportive. He has sort of taken over everything. I have been working out a lot, and have enjoyed cocktails & wine which I haven't let myself have for a few weeks! That part has been nice.
But enough about me, how are YOU? Has your body felt any different? How on earth did you ever make it emotionally through 5 IUIs? Oh my gosh! 5 huge disappointments. How do you keep going after each let down? When are you going to start telling people? I mean, friends, coworkers, etc. And, did you get pregnant this time from an IUI? I didn't really understand your history of injectables and BCP. I know that doesn't mean birth control pills!?! I should look up the acronym but I'm just going to risk sounding stupid.
Anyway, please don't get offended if I don't write often. My step-daughter arrives next Sat. and we are going to be very busy with her the next couple of weeks. We're having a big family get togehter, seeing the Producers, going to a hockey game, going snowboarding & staying at a hotel, and celebrating my mom's b-day. Phew! Plus I'm working that whole time, as my break doesn't start until Dec. 21. What a happy holiday for you! I can't imagine.... I fantasize about it all the time, and the desire to be pregnant is still quite fierce, but I'm trying to push it down for a while, and focus on other things.
Take GOOD care of yourself!!! Congratulations, again.
Kim C.
Hi Kim...
How are you doing?
KIM!
I'm sorry I'm late...CONGRATULATIONS!!!
Hey, Kim B., are you still around? I tried sending you an e-mail, but I haven't heard from you. Remember me, the other Kim from Alaska? How are you feeling? Well, TWIN...I have news for you! But you will have to write back to find out...
Take good care, Mama To Be!
Kim C.
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