Can't get babies off my mind!! (Cross posted)

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Registered: 12-31-1969
Can't get babies off my mind!! (Cross posted)
3
Sun, 09-23-2012 - 11:32pm

Hil ladies. 

My name is Kat, I'm 27 & currently baby crazy. I've always been anticipating the moment I can TTC & become a mom but after a time period of gynecological irregularity, explorative surgery & eventual diagnosis of endometriosis along with PCOS, I've really been spasing. The whole venture was originally something I talked about with my SO but for a while I was holding in my desires/obsessive thoughts because I was worried it would just overwhelm him too. I have to admit that when I finally expressed how much it really meant to me, how worried I am & how much I need support, it was the best thing ever. The even better part of expressing all this was that I found out he understood & felt just as strongly as I did about starting a family! 

After talking with him & really expressing my concerns of irregularity with my gyno (who by complete coincidence is actually very interested & experienced with infertility) we began venturing into diagnostics to search for answers. It started with an ultrasound, revealing PCO but I was not fully diagnosed with PCOS since I didn't have most of the symptoms, just abundant cysts on the ovaries & irregular cycles. Then when did the blood tests, checking hormone levels & evaluating cycle charts. After doing such & getting on progesterone to try & promote a healthy cycle, we started noticing pain during intercourse & mid-cycle problems so we moved to more. We went with an endometrial biopsy first but that was completely normal so then we decided on laproscopic surgery, which I am currently recovering from now. It's only been 2 days & I'm already stressing.

I found out after the surgery that I had stage 1 endometriosis which I honestly have no idea what that means, but I am highly anticipating my post-op appointment. I know I'm rushing my thoughts to cut immediately to the worries of what might be wrong..but I can't help it. My SO is totally understanding & is trying to remind me that we're doing all we can & the best thing we can do is take it one step at a time, but damnit I can't get babies off my mind.

That's why I'm here, reaching out a little bit to a community that I think can understand me better. I have a great support group but I don't want to run them ragged! Especially my SO, he's already worried himself while trying to be a rock for me so I need to get some of these emotions under wraps & focus a little better.

I'm sure I'm not the only one dealing with such strong baby desires & feeling baby crazy, so how do you ladies cope? I can't help but feel a little insane sometimes with how much I think about it..and it seems like everyone around me is pregnant, having a baby, has a baby or just found out they are pregnant. 

Help!

Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Wed, 09-26-2012 - 4:45pm
Hi Kat, welcome to the board! I'm sorry you are going through all of this. I guess on the bright side at least you have some idea of what you face with your fertility, although it stinks that you have to go through it. When is your post-op appointment?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2010
Tue, 10-02-2012 - 9:32am
Welcome. Im sorry you have to be here but glad you found us. Im sorry im just writing now I just got back from vacation.
I find IF is a lot of hurry up and wait. Hurry up to try and get tests done, wait for results; hurry up for treatment, wait to see if it works. The worst is hurry up to have a family, wait to see if you can. IF robs us of time, and the free will to decide our own life. The best you can do is not let it win. Which is so hard. The days you want to cry over it let yourself. Come here and tell us cause u guarentee one if not all of us has cried when passing the baby aisle in the store, or seen a sonogram on fb. Let us know how your appointment goes.
Much luck and baby dust to you.

Dixie

"Even miracles take a little time." ~ Fairy Godmother: Cinderella

TTC since April 2009