Depressed confused and a horrible person
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|Thu, 10-07-2010 - 7:00pm|
Ok I have a really really really long story and I thank you for reading it if you read all of it. I will try to shorten it as much as possible.
Ok so I am 25 I got married at 19 and on our 1 year anniversary I got pregnant. I lost that baby and me and my ex started trying to concieve after that. Well we had no luck and we went through 2 rounds of clomid and a round of HCG shots before we ran out of money. So then we started with foster care and while doing this my ex told me he had been sleeping with other women and got one pregnant and basically told me to get out.
Ok so now I am married again. Before we got married we had talked about him getting a vasectomy reversal and trying to concieve. Well now he has decided that it would just be better to adopt and not even try because it will cost to much and that will take away from his kids and we live in a small town so that is a lot of driving back and forth and taking days off work and all that good stuff. Well I am only 25 and he is 37 with 2 kids of his own that live with us full time that are 14 and 11. Boy and girl. Well lately I keep thinking to myself is that if i were with someone else maybe i could get pregnant. I love my husband dearly but I just keep thinking this over and over. I am not ready to close the door on me carrying my own child. I just don't know what to do and I am so confused and I feel like a horrible person! I am a horrible person and I know most of you are reading this thinking of how bad i am.