A friend's unplanned pregnancy

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2007
A friend's unplanned pregnancy
13
Mon, 11-26-2007 - 1:15pm

I'm sure this has been discussed on here before, but I found out last week that a friend of mine is expecting. She and her boyfriend were not planning this, but they're excited. She lives in another state and when she suspected she was pregnant, she told me. She got a test and I sat with her on the phone while she took it, talked with her while she freaked out when it was positive, talked her through what she was going to say to her boyfriend and her parents. Now all the drama is over and everyone's excited.


A few close friends have asked me how I'm doing, and here's the weird part - I'm basically fine. I felt a twinge when she said the test was positive, but I keep expecting to kind of fall apart, and I'm just not. I can't help but wonder if this means I've given up. I don't think it does because I don't think I have. I'm just finding it odd that I'm not more upset.


I can't even be sure why I'm posting this. I guess I just wanted to put it out there in case anyone has any thoughts.

Christy the Writer

TTC #1 for 3 years
Married to Guy for 5 years

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Tue, 01-15-2008 - 2:47pm
I just got news recently also of a friend's pregnancy. I dread having to go to yet another baby shower. I think I will just send a gift in the mail or something. I really don't want to do the baby shower thing anymore. Besides, we are probably going to wind up adopting a child, and I doubt anyone will give us a shower. So, that may sound vindictive, but I don't see the point in buying presents for friends' new babies if they likely won't bat an eye when we bring our adopted child home.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2007
Wed, 01-16-2008 - 5:36am

Wow - I hope you're wrong about that. I have been to showers for adopted babies and they're wonderful. I've seen adoptive parents put announcements in the newspaper, their church bulletin, whatever. That is as much your child as if you'd given birth to him/her - I say celebrate. That's what we're going to do if (when?) we adopt.


Having said that, I totally agree with you about baby showers. They've started having them at my office and I never go. I always send the mom-to-be a little something and a note that says "Sorry I couldn't make it to your shower." I tried to go a few times and always ended up having to leave the room before I started crying. I just can handle pacifiers and little booties.

Christy the Writer


TTC #1 for 3 years
Married to Guy for 5 years
Furmommy to Harry

Christy the Writer

TTC #1 for 3 years
Married to Guy for 5 years

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Wed, 01-16-2008 - 10:35am

I've never been to an adoption shower before, I just don't think any of our friends or family would host one for us either. That's okay, I will just not buy them christmas/birthday gifts for that year, and spend that money on our child instead.


Pages