Happy Thanksgiving - when entertaining a family that's TTC

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2010
Happy Thanksgiving - when entertaining a family that's TTC
Mon, 11-08-2010 - 5:34pm

I'm here asking advice.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2010

First of all, thank you for being so considerate to you guests.

~ Meron born 12-09-11 after 3 1/2 years of TTC, IUIs and IVF.
~ #2 on the way(!) and due 06-06-13.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2010

I have to say that I too appreciate the fact you are considerate over your TTC friends. It can be very hard because IF already makes you feel so isolated and then it tends to be hard to be around others who have children.

I think you are doing a fantastic job by trying not to linger on the talk of children too long. Sadly the sadness (at least for myself) comes in waves so one day I could love the idea of going to see family and friends if they have kids only to feel completely different the next day.

I guess the only other advice I can give is to help keep those people busy too. If you need help in the kitchen or setting things up ask them if they want to help. Sometimes keeping busy and not focusing on children is a blessing. When I first went to visit my sister and my new born niece my sister and mom would ask me to do things like help them set the table. It seems small but sometimes the distractions help make the lulls a little better.

I wish there were more people out there with the consideration you have.


"Even miracles take a little time." ~ Fairy Godmother: Cinderella

TTC since April 2009

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2010

Thank you both for your advice.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2009

What a thoughtful question.

Perhaps you have

Me: 39, DH: 43

TTC for 5 years . 1 Ectopic PG at 8 wee

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2010
Unfortunately, for something like this, there really isn't an answer. It's just hard, and there's no way around it. For me, probably the only thing that would help is, since you know, not acting like it doesn't exist and letting them know you want to be sensitive to their situation, so if there's anything you could do, let you know. I would think maybe the best thing you could do is just offering to be available to listen...admitting that you may not know what it's like, but you care and want to listen. With something like this, it's just nice to be able to talk about it and cry until the net time you need to talk about it and cry. You sound like a wonderful friend.
KayLa (36)... so many fertility issues betweeen DH and I. Diagnosed with Hashimoto's.
TTC naturally since June 2009
IVF #1 November 2010...BFP....early M/C
FET #1 April 2011...BFP...beta 10, 29, 460.
Heartbeat seen via u/s.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2007
I agree with Kayla. Everyone in my circle of family and friends knows the problems with have had getting pg...and I have always felt so much worse when we have been ignored or kept out of the loop with news of new pregnancies, childrens' milestones, etc. Your friends are very lucky to have people like you around them. Just taking the time to ask this question shows how much you care.

Jemma (35) and DH, (37). Married October 13, 2007 and TTCing since April 2008. Dealing with PCOS, swollen tubes, and also MFI. Committing myself to getting healthy and losing weight in preparation for IVF later in 2012.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2010

also a great idea - thank you!