I am young and infertile.....
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|Tue, 07-24-2012 - 12:49am|
I am new to this board and would like to vent and share my story. I am 22 years old and have been trying to conceive since I was 17 years old. I am not married but in a stable relationship for almost 3 years. I have tried to conceive with previous boyfriends and now my current one and have had no success.
When I was younger I kind of had a feeling that it was going to be hard for me to get pregnant, but I did not know that it was true! I have a history of depression and this is not making it better. I really do not have any surefire ways of coping. I just write down what I feel in a journal, try to talk about it and just cry. It is really hard to express how I feel, especially when people just do not understand and just cannot relate.
I have been put on clomid for 3 months with no success and have to now see a specialist. I am unemployed now and really do not have the money to pay all of these costly procedures and treatments. My boyfriend is trying to be supportive, but he has a child already from a previous relationship and I just do not think he really understands.
I cannot stand when I hear people talk about their pregnancies or see pregnant people. It really breaks my heart that I am so young and cannot get pregnant. My sister has 3 kids and can get pregnant very easily. I love my nephews but am really jealous that I cannot just get one child, but she can get three. She had gotten pregnant with my third nephew while on birth control. I was so shocked, I have never been on birth control and still cannot get pregnant.
I am currently writing a book about my experience and struggle and hope to find some sense of relied from this online support group. I am stuck on what to do next, I am scared to see a specialist and have to do and pay for more procedures that might fail and have to go through more heart break. I am trying to see if I should just accept the inevitable, that I might not ever be able to become a mother.