I am young and infertile.....

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anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
I am young and infertile.....
Tue, 07-24-2012 - 12:49am


I am new to this board and would like to vent and share my story. I am 22 years old and have been trying to conceive since I was 17 years old. I am not married but in a stable relationship for almost 3 years. I have tried to conceive with previous boyfriends and now my current one and have had no success.

When I was younger I kind of had a feeling that it was going to be hard for me to get pregnant, but I did not know that it was true! I have a history of depression and this is not making it better. I really do not have any surefire ways of coping. I just write down what I feel in a journal, try to talk about it and just cry. It is really hard to express how I feel, especially when people just do not understand and just cannot relate.

I have been put on clomid for 3 months with no success and have to now see a specialist. I am unemployed now and really do not have the money to pay all of these costly procedures and treatments. My boyfriend is trying to be supportive, but he has a child already from a previous relationship and I just do not think he really understands.

I cannot stand when I hear people talk about their pregnancies or see pregnant people. It really breaks my heart that I am so young and cannot get pregnant. My sister has 3 kids and can get pregnant very easily. I love my nephews but am really jealous that I cannot just get one child, but she can get three. She had gotten pregnant with my third nephew while on birth control. I was so shocked, I have never been on birth control and still cannot get pregnant.

I am currently writing a book about my experience and struggle and hope to find some sense of relied from this online support group. I am stuck on what to do next, I am scared to see a specialist and have to do and pay for more procedures that might fail and have to go through more heart break. I am trying to see if I should just accept the inevitable, that I might not ever be able to become a mother.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2011
Re: I am young and infertile.....
Wed, 07-25-2012 - 11:24am
I really appreciate your reply, it's helpful to have more information about your life I was very worried when I read that you have trouble with depression, and that you are currently unemployed. It does sound like you are moving forward and working hard going to school and looking for a new job. I apologize if I sounded harsh, that wasn't my intention.

I know how hard it is to want it so bad and it's not happening. I really hope that you don't give up on your dream, it's scary to see a specialist and actually get a diagnosis, but... I think it's better than living your life with regrets. Even if you have to do procedures and spend money, at least you know you tried. Hopefully you'll get a great job, and maybe even one that has insurance coverage for fertility treatments.

What have your cycles been like? Do you have any inkling on what could be the problem? There is less expensive testing you can do when you have the money. I'm not sure your doctor did before giving you Clomid, and if he increased your dose at all. It could have been that your dose wasn't strong enough, or you needed a few more cycles on it.

Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Thu, 07-26-2012 - 2:26pm
Has your doctored every mentioned PCOS? I'm just throwing it out there based on some of the symptoms you are having like depressions and irregular periods. Here is a link to our Health site about PCOS if you want to read about it: http://www.ivillage.com/polycystic-ovary-syndrome-pcos/4-y-99802

It's good that you were ovulating on Clomid, but you are right that it could have been thinning out your lining. Although very frustrating that you didn't get pregnant, at least it did make a difference in your cycles.

One way to look at your age is that maybe it's a good thing that you are starting early. You are worried that there could be something wrong, and you are being proactive about it. It's probably a good thing you didn't wait to TTC.

Try to hang in there, we are here for you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2005
Thu, 07-26-2012 - 6:15pm

I have PCOS and Endometriosis and taking clomid for me was not a good choice. I ovulated but failed to get pregnant with it. If you have Endo then I would stear clear of clomid. Clomid can make the endo worse. I tried for 10yrs to get pregnant. Went through IUI, IVF, FET to only have my heart broken. The last time my doctor put me on Femara. It is mostly used to treat cancer but in recent years it has been used to treat infertility. I had much better results with this drug and it did not effect my endo and it does not thin out the linning like Clomid can. I did not get pregnant off it but I think it helped lead up to me getting pregnant. When you have the money to see your doctor again. Talk to them about trying Femara. Good Luck!

Me ~ 31  DH ~ 33  TTC #1 since August 2002. Dealing with mild Endo, PCOS, D

Avatar for mlswalker
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
Tue, 08-21-2012 - 3:29pm

I just want you to know that I know how you feel.

I got married at 18 and started trying to get pg right away.  It didnt happen.  I tried for 3 yrs before getting medical help and still had no luck.  I HATED hearing people say I was young and that I should just give it time and blah, blah, blah . . . . I think it is SOOOOO much harder TTC when you are young because you have no life.  All you do it TTC and you dont experience the "freedom" of life, your whole world is so consummed with TTC.

For me, here it is 15 + yrs later and I am still not pg.

I hope you get answers from your doctor soon so you dont have to suffer like I have for SOOOO very long.

Good Luck!