Need a good cry
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| Fri, 02-01-2008 - 2:19pm |
We are trying for the last chance at IUI. My insemination was today. We only had two follicles and my husband count was not very good. We have another one tomorrow and then we wait. We were lucky in the past and got pregnant first try with IUI, not so lucky this time. This is our 6th attempt. They told us today that if this does not work we will have to go to IVF or IVM. We just don't have that kind of money. I am so discouraged. I cried the whole way home. They tell me not to get discourage but how can I not. Nobody around us know that we are going through this so I get to keep it all to myself.
I love my husband and I know it is not his fault, but our infertility problem is with him. I have no issue. I hate feeling like it is his fault, because I know it is not his fault. I just want to be pregnant. I have not even looked into IVF or IVM and have no idea what is involved.
I am willing to take all the advice you guys have.
HELP!!!!!

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Well I saw the Dr. today. I was right the only option that he is proposing is to go the IVM route. With IVM we would have a 30 to 40% chance of success. We would have had the option of IVF, but I had no response to the drugs when we tried IUI with injectables. On 150 units a day (tried puregone once and menopure once) I still only had 1 follicle (I do that on my own without the drugs). He says that with IVM they get the follicles when they are not mature so they don't use the drugs. Our only problem is that we don't have the money for it (it is cheaper then IVF though) Our insurance does not cover infertility at all so we are out of luck on that aspect. The Dr. said that we could keep trying IUI's but he only give us a 1% chance of success, he says that if it was going to work it would have worked by now.
He is going to see if the clinic has a study that I could enter using IVM or even IVF for that fact and then maybe there might be a possibility. Our clinic has a fund for people who can't afford treatment, but they have been giving it to cancer patient for preservation of sperm and follicles. He is going to see if they can do anything there as well. We have spoken with the bank and they don't give loans for infertility "too much of a risk for the bank"
I don't hold out much hope that the clinic will be able to help. So the long and the short of it is, this might be it for us because of money. I would be able to accept that we will only ever have one daughter if we had tried every thing in our power. But to not even be able to try is hard to swallow. Don't get me wrong, I know that we are lucky to have our daughter. There are so many people out there that would do anything to have one. I just wanted to have more then one. I have always dreamed of having 3 kids and so has my dh. It is hard to see your dreams taken away because of money.
I hate this.
Ellen
((((Ellen))))
I'm so sorry, what crummy news!
Ashley
Thanks Ashley,
I am glad that my office has four wall as I have been doing more crying this afternoon then work. I would have lots of people asking questions that I am just not in the mood to answer right now, if it were not for these walls.
We are blessed to have our daughter. She was conceived through IUI (we have MF infertility) back in 2005, we got lucky and it worked the first time for us. We were in shock, that it was that easy. We are paying for it now though.
The Dr. is suppose to call me either this evening or next week. He needs to talk to some people at the clinic, to see if there is anything that they can do to help. He said that if I did not hear from him today did not mean that I was out of luck. It just means that he did not get a chance to talk to the people today. He is going out of town, to an infertility conference when he comes back he will give me a call if he does not get the answers today. He said to give him 10 days at most and if I don't hear from him to give him a call.
Like I said, I am not holding my breath. I can't get my hopes up to get them shot down again. I will pray for a last minute miracle though.
Thanks for letting me vent. Having you guys around really make a difference. Don't give up on your quest any of you. This is a fight that is worth fighting. We all deserve to have all the kids that we want.
Ellen (having a really bad day)
Ellen,
You are doing a great job!
Ashley
Thanks for being there for me. I don't know what I would be doing if it was not for the board. I know that there are people out there that have it worst then me. I feel bad for being this miserable, but I can't help it. All of my life I have dreamed of having lots of kids and now having that dream taken away from me because of money is hard. We are going to have to see if there is any way that we can put away enough money to give it one try at least.
I am trying to put on a brave face, but it is hard right now.
Thanks for letting me vent.
Ellen
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