needing to vent

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
needing to vent
Mon, 08-27-2012 - 5:05am

My fiance and I have been TTC for a little over a year. When I was 16, I lost one of my ovaries due to a very large cyst. Both my fallopian tubes were damaged. At 21 I had surgery on my other ovary to remove another cyst. I have not been told for sure if I am completely infertile. But after trying this long, I am afraid that is the case. I am currently 23 and hoping to conceice before another cyst takes my only ovary. I have researched IVF and egg freezing, but both are way too expensive. It's been extremely hard lately since 2 of our close friends have become pregnant, and of course they weren't trying. It makes me feel like useless as a woman since I can't do the one thing I was made to do. I also became an aunt 6 weeks ago. Having a nephew is amazing, but at the same time it makes everything so much harder. I see my fiance with him and my heart melts. I know he would be an amazing dad. I just wish I could give him that opportunity. I am hoping that writing my feelings and reading other posts will help me cope with the stress of TTC.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2010
In reply to:
Mon, 08-27-2012 - 10:34am

Hi Wishfulthinker,

I'm so sorry you find yourself here with us, but you couldn't hope to find a more supportive place to be.  Although our journies are all different, we're still fighting to have the same thing.  I hope that you'll be able to find some good advice and help here.

I think one of the things most of us here have learned over the years is that we are our own best advocates when it comes to this journey.  I hope that on your next visit with your doctor you might be able to get a referral to an RE (reproductive endocrinologist).  Even if IVF seems out of the question they may have other more affordable options that might work for you.  If nothing else, they are the experts and can probably provide some answers to your questions.

It is so hard seeing friends and relatives pregnant and having babies.  I always tried my best to be happy for them but it was so hard to not feel jealous of the joy they had that we couldn't seem to reach.  It is hard and frustrating to feel so sad about not having something that should be so easy and seems so easy for everyone else. 

I hope you find some good support here and some more sympathetic ears. 

Sending positive thoughts your way!



~ Meron born 12-09-11 after 3 1/2 years of TTC, IUIs and IVF.
~ #2 on the way(!) and due 06-06-13.

Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
In reply to:
Mon, 08-27-2012 - 1:50pm
Hello wishfulthinker07, welcome to the board. i'm so sorry that you are having trouble getting pregnant :smileysad: Are you seeing a specialist yet?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2010
In reply to:
Tue, 08-28-2012 - 4:58am
I am so sorry you find yourself in this position but im glad you found us. I agree seeing a RE is the next step. Dont let others make you feel like because you are young. Especially with your history I would start sooner rather then later. Good luck and know we are all here and understand those moments when your heart breaks over seeing other get so easily the one thing you want so much.


"Even miracles take a little time." ~ Fairy Godmother: Cinderella

TTC since April 2009