Overcoming cancer to overcoming infertility? Hopefully...

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2012
Overcoming cancer to overcoming infertility? Hopefully...
5
Fri, 01-20-2012 - 4:57pm

It's kind of exciting just to be writing this down somewhere where other people (especially those who understand) would read it. My husband and my infertility issues are not something we try to keep hidden away from those around us - and we have lots of loving supporting friends and family - but few of them understand anything about the sadness attached to infertility. Its nice just to know that while its mainly venting I'm doing here, its to the right crowd.

When my now-husband and I were dating for about two years, he was diagnosed with testicular cancer. We were in our mid-20s and I had no contemporaries to compare notes on what the "young cancer experience" would be. Doctors right off the bat were optimistic and I spent a lot of my time trying to back out of the freak-out I was constantly on the verge of having. He was so calm and so steady throughout chemo and surgeries, but in the back of my mind, I wondered how this sickness, if survived, would alter the course of our life together. I'd already made it clear six months into dating that I was on the marriage/babies track and if he didn't want to be there, this was his chance to get out because I wasn't interested in wasting valuable time. He'd laughed, said yes, that's what I want too. We were right where I wanted us to be.

The diagnosis and the removal of the "evil testicle" was the first step. When results came back that the cancer had already spread and chemo was necessary, his doctor urged him to donate his sperm to be put on ice - just in case. Chemo can cause sterility and even though that part of our life was years down the road, he donated and continued his treatment. After everything - the chemo, the side effects of the chemo, several surgeries and a deafeningly quiet and frightening time in our life - he was told that the cancer was gone. They'd taken everything that could harbor more of the cancer and all that was left was to move forward.

It took awhile but we got back on track. Eventually he asked me to marry him and ten months later we were married, had a wonderful honeymoon, and spent our free time going out and having fun. Not long after we were married, I ventured on to a website that noted the average amount of

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2011

Thanks for sharing your story. (((big hugs)))

Even though my IF troubles are a bit different, the whole time I was reading your story, I identified with so many of your feelings.

Britty  & DH (both 30) TTC since late 2008

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2010
Welcome. I am certainly sorry you find yourself here but glad you found a good place to vent. I think being able to talk to people who truely understand is a huge part of being able to deal with IF.
It is unfair that you and your DH have already had to deal with so much. Between cancer and now infertility it is a lot on your plate. I know for myself there were many days watching others move along to parenthood so easily was like getting shot over and over again. Those are the days I turned to the ladies here. It is tough that it takes us all so long for our miracles.
Hopefully your miracle is coming soon through whatever option you feel is best for you. Much baby dust to you.

Dixie

"Even miracles take a little time." ~ Fairy Godmother: Cinderella

TTC since April 2009

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2010

Hi, there. My DH was diagnosed with NHL at the age of 28. He also banked his sperm prior to chemo and radiation. I wanted to give ((HUGS)) to you. I haven't been exactly where you are, but understand how scary cancer can be. We were on the verge of IUI when our miracle happened. Did you use DH's banked sperm for the IUIs? I'm so sorry you are going through everything you are, but glad that you have a support system. Please feel free to pm me if you want to talk about life after cancer or other stuff.

Me(32), DH(31)...Our TTC journey:
~1993: (incorrect) Dx of bicornuate uterus (BU) on u/s
September 20, 2003: begin wedded bliss! (on BCP)
Fall 2007: HSG results consistent with BU
Fall 2008: here we go, bye-bye BCP
November 2008: DH in hospital, me ?ChemPg/horrid AF
Winter 2008: back on BCP
Spring/Summer 2009: last chemo, radiation for DH
January 2010: start prenatals, waiting
March 2010: green light to TTC, see ya BCP
April 2010: BFP (4/1), beta ~900 (4/2)
May 2010: m/c (5/30) @12w5d
June 2010: regrouping, septum (SU) vs. BU
September 2010: SU, resected (9/20)! multiple uterine polyps found, removed; Dx mild hyperthyroidism; waiting
December 2010: more polyps removed (12/17), more waiting
January 2011: (1/28) green light for TTC!!!
March 2011: begin recording temps
April 2011: added the OvaCue (oral sensor only)
June 2011(cycle 6): (6/30) BFP! 1st beta 247.1 @ 12DPO, CD25
July 2011: (7/2) 2nd beta 642.3 @ 14DPO, CD27

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Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
I just wanted to welcome you to the board. I really hope that you will have that little one with you soon, sending you lots of P&PTs.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2007
Wow...thank you for sharing and welcome to the board. I'm sorry you are going thru a really hard month. I understand how you feel. My best friend just told me she is pregnant and that has put me in a funk for the past month. It's her second pregnancy, and she got pregnant the month she started trying. It took her a whopping 2 months to conceiver her daughter. I love her to death and I'm happy for her, but I've been in a "when is it my turn" funk for the past few weeks.

Coming to terms with the very real possibility that I might never be a mother scares me too. I can't even wrap my head around it! I have always been so very vocal about wanting to be a mom, since I was a kid. So I can't even begin to think about a reality where that's not a part of my life. We are at the point were adoption is starting to be discussed, but it's not easy either. Or cheap....how do people do this!?!?

I love your attitude though...."just keep swimming". That's pretty much what you have to do. And keep laughing, because if you don't laugh, you'll cry.

Thinking of you and hoping your journey leads you to your little one. :)

Jemma (35) and DH, (37). Married October 13, 2007 and TTCing since April 2008. Dealing with PCOS, swollen tubes, and also MFI. Committing myself to getting healthy and losing weight in preparation for IVF later in 2012.