Overcoming cancer to overcoming infertility? Hopefully...
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|Fri, 01-20-2012 - 4:57pm|
It's kind of exciting just to be writing this down somewhere where other people (especially those who understand) would read it. My husband and my infertility issues are not something we try to keep hidden away from those around us - and we have lots of loving supporting friends and family - but few of them understand anything about the sadness attached to infertility. Its nice just to know that while its mainly venting I'm doing here, its to the right crowd.
When my now-husband and I were dating for about two years, he was diagnosed with testicular cancer. We were in our mid-20s and I had no contemporaries to compare notes on what the "young cancer experience" would be. Doctors right off the bat were optimistic and I spent a lot of my time trying to back out of the freak-out I was constantly on the verge of having. He was so calm and so steady throughout chemo and surgeries, but in the back of my mind, I wondered how this sickness, if survived, would alter the course of our life together. I'd already made it clear six months into dating that I was on the marriage/babies track and if he didn't want to be there, this was his chance to get out because I wasn't interested in wasting valuable time. He'd laughed, said yes, that's what I want too. We were right where I wanted us to be.
The diagnosis and the removal of the "evil testicle" was the first step. When results came back that the cancer had already spread and chemo was necessary, his doctor urged him to donate his sperm to be put on ice - just in case. Chemo can cause sterility and even though that part of our life was years down the road, he donated and continued his treatment. After everything - the chemo, the side effects of the chemo, several surgeries and a deafeningly quiet and frightening time in our life - he was told that the cancer was gone. They'd taken everything that could harbor more of the cancer and all that was left was to move forward.
It took awhile but we got back on track. Eventually he asked me to marry him and ten months later we were married, had a wonderful honeymoon, and spent our free time going out and having fun. Not long after we were married, I ventured on to a website that noted the average amount of