TTC@45 - Miracles do happen...

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2007
TTC@45 - Miracles do happen...
25
Wed, 08-15-2007 - 1:00am

Hi there - I just found this site and am thankful for it!! I am a 45 year old healthy woman, married for the 2nd time just over 2 years ago. I have a 22 year old daughter from my first marriage.

My husband and I would like to get pregnant... I am a believer and know that all things are possible with Him, yet I have seen so many statistics that point to the relative scarcity of success in cases like mine.

On the one hand, I feel like I should leave it in God's hands and know that His plan for our marriage will prevail, and on the other hand, I want to jump in and try like crazy to make a baby with this man! I am definitely conflicted.

Your thoughts, comments and prayers will be greatly appreciated!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2006
Sat, 08-18-2007 - 1:28am

Hello, and welcome to the board.

~ Jessica


visit my family blog at: lifeinthefunzone.blogspot.co

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2007
Sun, 08-19-2007 - 5:10pm

Hi there - thanks so much for your kind words.

Yes, I am one of the faithful, although imperfect and in need of improvement (as I will always be)...

I agree with you re: all that you have said - and I will most probably do everything in my limited power to have a child with my husband - and only our good Lord knows whether we will be successful, or not...

I did have a bit of a concerning and harrowing and painful event last night that I would like anyone's input on, though.

After dinner, I started to experience some pain as if I were having gastro-intestinal disturbances (please forgive the details: in the past, I have had gas pains that have doubled me over, but they never lasted beyond a few minutes), and so I went into the restroom to see if I could obtain relief. After at least 15 minutes with no abatement of the pain, I decided to get up and go out onto the couch. I had so much pain when I stood up (all lower abdomen and lower back and lower) that it brought tears to my eyes. Sitting down and sitting up made it hurt even worse and the best relief I could obtain was laying on my side with my legs bent. I had pretty constant pain for a couple of hours, and it hadn't completely abated even as I went to sleep.

Today, I am a little sensitive, but the pain is gone. I had no bleeding last night nor have I today. I read up on miscarriages, but I dont know if I am pregnant or not (last period was July 29th, cycle 26 days on average, ovulation should have beem around the 10th, so the most I could be pregnant is about a week -- hubby and I tried 3 times during the projected fertile period).

So... any advice, experience of others or ?? I don't know what that was last night, but I wouldn't wish it on anyone and I hope it never happens again, and I would like to know what it was that was/is happening!

Thanks to all, again for your input - this board has been a real source of comfort and support for me.
~

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2006
Sun, 08-19-2007 - 5:19pm

First of all, on this board there really is no such thing as TMI (too much info).

~ Jessica


visit my family blog at: lifeinthefunzone.blogspot.co

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2007
Sun, 08-19-2007 - 11:23pm

Thanks so much, Jessica - I seem to be ok now... the lower back pain was incidental and unrelated, I think. I agree that it would be pretty early to feel that type of cramping in a miscarriage situation, but my ignorance knows no bounds!!!!!

Well, I am going to be out of town for my next fertile period (if we didn't succeed this time) and I feel the clock ticking, but I also know that it is in the hands of the Lord - just think of what He did for Sarah (though we don't hear of these things in today's world).

My Mom and sister-in-law think I am ... well, crazy isn't the right word for it, but close... for even trying.

Thanks for your support. I will pray for your success, too!

Faith in Him,
Julie

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2007
Sat, 08-25-2007 - 2:56pm

Tess - I finally went in to see an Ob/Gyn last Friday, and she was great. My DH went with me and we both love this woman.

I had an FSH test, even though it wasn't day 3 of my cycle, since I will be out of town (am now) at that time, and she decided to go ahead and get a baseline for now and do another later. She also had my DH do a semen analysis, so we will see what the initial tests report.

I had done some web research on FSH levels, and I was really concerned that my number would be 'too high' and I tell you, my anxiety level is really up there...

Anyway, I logged onto Kaiser, and lo and behold, my test results were there - talk about heart-rate-increase... as I clicked on the button I was so fearful (of course, since my period is going to be starting any second now, that didn't help). When the results displayed, I couldn't believe my eyes... the number is: 2.1! (Thats two-point-one!!!)

From all that I have been reading, this is a very good number, and I am amazed. I don't want to get my hopes up too high, though, as it was taken on a day other than the one they normally take it on.

I am so thankful that it wasn't up in the teens or above 20 or something, though.

Thanks for your support and interest! I am cautiously optimistic... and praising our good Lord for His awesome love...

Looking forward,
Julie

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-19-2004
Sun, 08-26-2007 - 3:06pm

What cycle day did you get the fsh test? If cd 2 or 4 then it is still a meaningful result, but otherwise it is probably meaningless. You should repeat test on cd 3.

You can see on this chart the natural rise and fall of FSH during a woman's cycle.

http://www.merck.com/mmhe/sec22/ch241/ch241e.html

- Jenna
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2007
Sun, 08-26-2007 - 9:46pm

Jenna - the charts in the link you sent are absolutely great, and I think a lot of people would benefit from looking at them. I know they helped me -- thanks!

Here's what I think. My new OB/GYN was probably trying to rule out (or IN) menopause rather than 'ruling in' fertility in me. I think she probably expected a high numbered result, as she did talk about other options, like adoption. She is probably as surprised as I am at the results. From your chart and from the other things I have read, the FSH might be about 3x higher during cd3, but that would still put me well in the 'good range'. Of course, until we check it, all is speculation,, and who am I as a naive newbee to say that I'm ok?!?!?

Here are some other facts:
> I eat a lot of soy, which impacts estrogen, which might be making the FSH lower (have been a vegetarian since 1982)
> We took the test on the day before my projected cd1, so it wasn't at the right time.
> For the last year or so (I hadn't tracked it ever before), my cycle has been ultra predictable at 26 1/2 days or so and about 3-5 days of bleeding (I was never tracking spotting beginning and ending days versus full-on bleeding days, that's why the number is a range, but each month I did have full-on bleeding for at least a couple of days).
> It is now my projected cd3 and I am still not menstruating.

So... now I am faced with even more questions:
1 - could I be in menopause and still have the low FSH and therefore am missing my period because of that?
2 - could I be pregnant, which would drive the FSH low and therefore am missing my period because of that?
3 - could it be completely unrelated or stress related, or??

One thing I do know is that I do not want to be on pins-and-needles all of the time, and yes, I know, welcome to the club...

One of the most important elements of this time is a renewing of my faith. I believe that I will obtain greater comfort if and when I can 'cast my burden' onto Him, but I have to tell you that when I read the results of my FSH test on the website I broke out into tears of relief!!! I don't want to have these highs and lows, and now that I have missed my period, I don't know how to calm myself or think about anything else for any length of time...

I don't want to talk to DH about it, as I don't want to get his hopes up and find out it was just a delay or false pregnancy or something stupid, yet part of me wants to call him and burst out in song!!!!

I know that many of you who take the time to read this will have had similar experiences.

Any advice?
Thanks again, everyone!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-19-2004
Mon, 08-27-2007 - 11:53am

Were you tracking your cycles? Do you know when you o'd? I don't think menopause typically goes from ultra-regular to all of sudden no period, so I wouldn't worry about that at all just based on being 3 days late. I believe most if not all go through perimenopause first, and while fertility is reduced turning perimenopause some women can and do get pg then. The biggest concern at your age is egg quality, and while age is predictive, there are individual variations in that as well. Women of all ages can miss an O or have a funky cycle on occassion, and it doesn't necessarily mean anything at all. Most likely you either o'd late, didn't o this cycle (that does not mean you are in menopause), or are pg :). Take a pregnancy test and good luck!

-Jenna

- Jenna
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2007
Mon, 08-27-2007 - 3:15pm

Jenna, you are truly a GodSend!! I really appreciate your comforting words!

Unfortunately, I didn't get my first OPK until last Thursday, August 23rd, the same day that I saw my OB/GYN, and I haven't been tracking my cycle other than menstruation ever (until this month when I started using the fertility calendar on this site). I figured I would start tracking 'everything' with this cd1, and now look at me!

I did get a chance to email my Dr. a little while ago - I am not sure how she gets/responds to emails during the day, but maybe she can shed some light, and check to see if the FSH was properly tested and recorded (even though it wasn't cd3), and respond to me as to what to do.

One thing I did forget to mention is that she told me that I was spotting a bit when she did my pap on Thursday. I told her that was normal, since my period was supposed to start the next day. I didn't even know that I was spotting, but she probed, etc... and saw blood, and yet still I haven't started menstruating.

I don't know what is going on, but I gain great comfort knowing that I am not alone in this. Thank you so much - I only hope I can return the favor some day -- at the very least I can 'pay it forward' to someone else, as needed.

You remain in my thoughts and prayers!
Julie

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-19-2004
Mon, 08-27-2007 - 3:43pm

Julie, Most women ovulate the day after a pos OPK, and have a luteal phase or around 12-14 days (though this may vary from person to person, it usually stays consistent for an individual. The spotting you had may have just been ovulation spotting- actually a good fertility sign and nothing to worry about. Luteal phases less than 10 days may require treatment with progesterone to lengthen). So it looks like you had a delayed ovulation this month and are going to have a long cycle. Expect your period 12-14 days after the Aug 24th. It would be too early for a pg test to show a pregnancy if the OPK was accurate in predicting ovulation. I wouldn't worry too much about one long wacky cycle, this can happen occassionally to women of any age and doesn't indicate any problem if it's just one. If it becomes a pattern, then I'd look into it, as long cycles and greatly delayed ovulation can be a problem.

Good luck and relax, it may be awhile before AF shows.

- Jenna