Can you help me with some basic info?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2007
Can you help me with some basic info?
10
Tue, 05-18-2010 - 8:49pm

Hello all,

I hope you don't mind my asking but I am looking for some general/basic information on the process of IVF and I'm having difficulty finding information on the internet.

A friend is off work this week for her IVF treatments (I'm not sure if that is the right word). She asked that we not talk about it before because every time someone asked her about it it made her more nervous. Her family was not sympathetic to this so I really tried to be. The problem now is I don't really know what happens or the timeline. When she comes back to work next week, will she know if it has worked, will she be waiting for weeks to have a test, etc.

I don't want to say the wrong thing to her when I see her and I am trying to be extra careful about anything I say because I am due in September and really want the same success for her.

Can you give me an idea of where she will be at when I see her?

I appreciate any information you can give me. Thank you.

I am sorry this is so long but have to add one more line to wish all of you the best of luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2009
Tue, 05-18-2010 - 9:47pm

Hi,


It is great that you are thinking of your friend...you know her better than I do, but I am not sure I would say anything.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2007
Tue, 05-18-2010 - 10:10pm

That's the thing, Erica. I don't want to ask her any questions, I just want to know the timeline so that I can watch for signs of good or negative news. Not that I would ask her but just so that I can make sure I'm around and/or available at the critical times in case she needs me.

This is her first time at this and although I have no experience in this regard I did suffer 4 pregnancy losses prior to this one (fingers crossed at 21 weeks) and even though I didn't want to talk about them (more so with each one) it helped to have friends around.

I'm not sure that made much sense.

Lisa

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2005
Tue, 05-18-2010 - 11:02pm

Lisa,

It sounds like your friend is lucky to have such a good friend. Basically IVF is a lot of waiting, waiting to start, waiting for your eggs to grow, waiting for embryos to develop, waiting for pregnancy test results. The process for each cycle is at least a couple of months. I would guess that your friend either had her embryos removed to fertilize and/or had the fertilized embryos implanted into her uterus. Those are kind of the two big times besides the pregnancy test. If my assumption is correct, most likely she won't know the results for probably about 10 days, which will seem like eternity. I would simply just ask her how she is doing and if she wants to talk about anything. I am guessing it could vary day by day. Maybe just let her know you are available to talk? I have a friend at work that I talk to and she asks me how things are going. Some days I am annoyed that she asks and other days I am glad, it just kind of depends. Sometimes she is a little too peppy and that makes me mad too, but honestly she can't win. I think you can relate because of your losses and you understand that it can be hard to talk about. I think it depends on how open the person is in general too, some people really like to share stuff and others keep quiet. Her husband might not want her to talk about it or something, you just never know. Maybe you could invite her out to lunch sometime next week and see if it comes up? Once you get people out of the office they open up more. I hope your friend has good news!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2007
Tue, 05-18-2010 - 11:11pm

Hi Lisa, how are you?
First, let me tell you how much I appreciate your concern for your friend. I WISH I had friends like that, even co workers. I am going through my third IVF and it is not easy. The first time, I told a lot of people and it was the stupidest thing I could have ever done. The 2nd time, and this time only my boss knows - and its perfect because I can go on with my life and not feel like everytime I talk to someone they are wanting to know whats going on with me. Its hard enough to deal with, trust me I don't want to talk about it.


Everyone's cycle is different, so its hard to give you a timeline. It will vary greatly depending on the protocol and her hormone levels during her cycle. But just so you get an idea of the timeline, these are some of the typical phases.


Step 1: Some clinics put you on Birth Control Pills (BCPs) for 28 days to regulate your cycle


Step 2: A few days after her period she will

TTC#1 since Jul 2005; 3 IVF's, 5 IUIs and now making 1 beautiful baby!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2009
Wed, 05-19-2010 - 2:10am

Lisa,


That did make sense, and it is great that you will be there for her...ditto on what the pp's said...


GL with the rest of your pregnancy...;)

Erica


My IF and SIF blog:

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2007
Wed, 05-19-2010 - 9:33pm

Thank you for your reply. I really appreciate the information and from what I know so far I think I can guess what stage she is in.

I will try not to say anything if I can. I know what it is like to wait for that test. And then to wait and see if it holds. And I know all too well what it is like when it doesn't work. I don't know what it is like for IVF but I suspect the emotional roller coaster is similar to that of miscarriages.

I agree with you on the 3 months time line. One of my losses was early in the second trimester but the rest have been in the first. The last couple of tries my husband and I simply agreed that I "might" be pregnant up until a successful 12 week u/s. Although, with each pregnancy we each told one person. That way, if things went badly, we each had someone we could talk to about it. Sometimes we found it hard to talk to each other about it.

I really do wish you the best of luck. If you are successful and really want (are bursting) to tell someone you can always tell me. I can be a sounding board without all that pressure of actually knowing me. You can message me through this or find me in the September club.

Lisa

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2010
Sat, 05-22-2010 - 11:23pm

sorry, I am learning the terminology, I hope you don't mind me asking:


* what's a super o cycle?


* what's fresh cycle?


* what does it mean to be resistant to Clomid?


Vicky, 32 - PCOS and need IVF w/PGD / IXCI

Married (in 2003) to DH, 35

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2009
Wed, 05-26-2010 - 6:14pm

No prob...


I will start with this one:

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2009
Wed, 05-26-2010 - 6:21pm

I think it's great that you are supportive of your friend.


If she is off this week for the egg retrieval and the embryo transfer then she would still have 2 weeks to wait to see if the procedure was successful (same as the 2ww after ovulation).


I agree, let her come to you and talk to you.

Susan L.



Robert Edward Xavier Lin - Born July 31, 2010 at 5:56AM, 6 pounds 4 ounces and 19 inches long. He spent 2 weeks in the NICU but he's doing great now!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2010
Wed, 05-26-2010 - 7:33pm

Erica,


Vicky, 32 - PCOS and need IVF w/PGD / IXCI

Married (in 2003) to DH, 35