crisis mode

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2007
crisis mode
9
Thu, 02-02-2012 - 1:53am

ok i need a little clarity here.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2011
In reply to: hotiguana
Fri, 02-03-2012 - 7:20pm
Jen, sounds like your decision is made but just wanted to send some support your way. From your first post it seemed as though you were leaning toward Korea and the FET idea sounds like it might be a good option! Let us know what your RE says!
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2011
In reply to: hotiguana
Thu, 02-02-2012 - 7:50pm

FYI...depending on the grade and quality of the embies....in General...FET carries a 40-45% success rate at our age range. Fresh....AGAIN...depending on Egg Quality/Grade/ etc....is about 50-55%.

I was always caustiously optimistic.....but expected to fail. My AMH wasn't AWFUL....about 2.3-2.5. I got 17 eggs at each ET...not bad for a 37yo (IVF 1) and 39yo (2nd IVF)..... but I miscarried the second IVF due to the crusty nature of my eggs! LOL. That's when I paid my sister to give me HER eggs for IVF #3!!! LOL. I have 9 on ice..in the vent that this PG does not progress well...... and was told by my RE that the quality of the eggs gives me a 40-45% FET success rate.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2007
In reply to: hotiguana
Thu, 02-02-2012 - 2:00pm

thank y;all so much. i really neede that. the decision is made, he is going to korea in august. i am going to talk to the RE about freezing all the embies and we will go from there..

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2008
In reply to: hotiguana
Thu, 02-02-2012 - 1:24pm
What a hard decision! I just wanted to let you know that a good friend of mine got pregnant naturally a month before they found out her DH would be sent to Iraq. She had the babe in July and he just came home in November. It was hard for her (she has a toddler too), but the baby immediately bonded with her daddy. He says it is like he was there the whole time. As a teacher, I know how resilant children are. Honestly, the year will go by quickly as opposed to 2.5 years. I would go with Korea and just know that you and DH have a great bond that may only change for the better. Most of us pursuing ivf have been with our dhs for longer than most couples before children. Even going through ivf bonds couples closer than they even thought possible. Yes, you will do so much alone, but as a female dr, I am sure you are no stranger to strength (my girlfriends that are drs have had some difficult dealings with male drs or male professors and just the process of becoming a dr in general takes perserverance!!!). I wish you the best and renewed clarity. I think that you will regret not trying one cycle with your own eggs. Donor eggs are a great choice too, but you may regret that you never tried your own at least once. I was 34 when my ivf cycle worked, and I was an old pregnancy. And my body definitely felt old pregnant, so I agree with the other girl that the sooner, the better. Good luck and I know it will work out for you the way it is meant to :)
About me: Sheri 35, DH 42, happily married 16 years, 3 furbabies TTC#1 since forever, MFI (complications from Type 1 Diabetes) December, February IUIs cancelled. One thing after another. March IVF stopped for uterine polyps (my turn to have something
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2008
In reply to: hotiguana
Thu, 02-02-2012 - 12:56pm
Oh Jen, so many big questions!!! I think the PP has a great idea with going through with this cycle and getting the eggs out of you at the earliest age possible and then freezing for a FET at a later point. That way you could go tour asia with your DH and go through FETs about 5-6 months before he's scheduled to be home. That way he'd be home for the 3rd trimester and could enjoy the pregnancy with you. Best of both worlds =)

Good luck!
Caryn
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2007
In reply to: hotiguana
Thu, 02-02-2012 - 12:23pm

Lyndsay,

He would go In August for a year.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2011
In reply to: hotiguana
Thu, 02-02-2012 - 12:16pm

WHat a predicament you must feel like you are in. Either way, both options have drawbacks...and benefits. I am a "The time is Now' Gal. I'm a few years older than you.....But I will say that at age 37..when we did our first IVF...I knew here was NO putting this off. If everyone waited until the timing and circumstances were "perfect"...we would never acomplish what we set out to do...or by the time we did..it might be too late. I agree with you..that if the IVF does NOT work...Korea would be a much more interesting option to "visit" than plain old AZ...LOL. BUT..if it DOES work (The IVF)....I would personally prefer 2.5 years of weekends/holidays/leaves with my husband

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2007
In reply to: hotiguana
Thu, 02-02-2012 - 12:09pm

cilla,

i actually thought about that about 1 am last night. i think it is an interesting possibility. i will talk to DH and RE about that. I will look at his stats, but do you know success rates for FETs? Thanks for taking the time to respond. i am sick about this.

jen

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-29-2000
In reply to: hotiguana
Thu, 02-02-2012 - 11:57am
Jen,

I don't really have any experience making a decision like this, so I am not sure what I would do in your shoes.

I did want to ask if you had thought about going through with the cycle and then just freezing all the embryos. You could do an FET when your DH is due to return, then. And it would give you an chance to try your own eggs. You could do donor afterward, if necessary.

I have to say, some men do get attached. My DH was! He went to every prenatal appt, every well baby appt. He held our son and rocked him. Would have done feedings, except I exclusively BFed. About the only thing he didn't do for our son was change diapers. LOL, he did it once or twice, but he was so squeamish about it, that I didn't push him into having to do it more.

And, it does change the 'us' of just the two of you when you have kids. There are a lot of adjustments that you do have to make. It doesn't have to be a bad change, but it does change your relationship. In some ways, I love him more for seeing how much he loves our son and what a wonderful father he is. But we don't have as much 'couple' time anymore. We were just the two of us for a long time before our son arrived, and it takes some adjustment, but it's totally worth it.

Talk to your husband, to your RE. Find out what all your options are and, if you are religious, pray about it. You will find the right path to follow.