Devastated - 29 yrs, AFC 11 and strong family history of POF

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2006
Devastated - 29 yrs, AFC 11 and strong family history of POF
Fri, 03-11-2011 - 1:31pm

Hi all - I'm having a horrible week.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2008

I am so sorry...I so know what you are going through..My story is similar.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2008

People just do not understand how lucky it is for them to conceive naturally, and how unnatural/freakish it feels not to have that luxury. Sorry for your new membership to this club. Hopefully we will all move on. I am relatively new here myself and am preparing for April IVF after a mini-surgery on Monday to deal with uterine polyps (surprise to me as it is MF we are dealing with). Though I am new here, I have known for the last fifteen years that my husband and I could most likely not conceive naturally due to complications from his type one diabetes. So in essence, it was not that huge a surprise for me to be on this board, though it has been an agonizing 15 years of hoping to see a BFP at any moment. So I feel your heartbreak. And just this process in general -- the waiting and testing and not-knowing -- is maddening!

I too, do not have the money for IVF, nor does my insurance or the state I am in, cover any cost what-so-ever. We were told originally -- much to our surprise and delight -- that they could do an IUI and the price for all would be $800. Well, after more tests revealed that it would not work, we are scheduled for IVF. I think I have gone mad already waiting and figuring and hustling. I had to ask my folks -- who are the most practical people in the world and think that everyone should have $100,000 saved up before even attempting a family. They are not wealthy by any means, but have been smart with their money (a teacher and a cop -- both retired). I am a teacher and our current generation is not quite as lucky as theirs regarding cost of living, etc. I live in LA, which is not a cheap city, particularly for a teacher. Long story short: I felt awful asking, but my therapist (yes, a good idea if you do not have one already) told me that parents make their children's wishes come true or at least try. She told me to ask them. She told me that she would do that for her child. Though my parents initially were not warm and fuzzy about it all and my mother occasionally complains or seems anxious about finances, they are excited to be grandparents again (my sister has two). We bought a package with ARC, and I got my meds covered by Compassionate Care for free (check into it if you haven't -- they are great!). There are grants out there too. For us, we have to have MESA/TESE as well, so the cost just keeps piling ($4000 extra for my DH's surgery and each time if it is fresh). This new little bump on the road -- the uterine polyps -- cost another $1500. I am paying for the little stuff, but the big enchilada -- the ARC package ($22,800 -- 2 fresh 2 frozen with ICSI) is what my parents covered. I would have had to finance otherwise and the interest is a b**ch. However, if that was my only option, I would. I hope you can find a way. I think your parents or families would be willing to make a few sacrifices -- even a home loan -- to help you achieve your dream of a family. After all, it costs about the price of a new car yet -- to be cliche -- it is priceless.

About me: Sheri 35, DH 42, happily married 16 years, 3 furbabies TTC#1 since forever, MFI (complications from Type 1 Diabetes) December, February IUIs cancelled. One thing after another. March IVF stopped for uterine polyps (my turn to have something
Avatar for trinigirl2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2010

Hello, I'm sorry you had to join us here. I know how devastating it is to be told that you cannot conceive naturally. I cannot answer your questions but I just wanted to offer some support. I can remember when the RE's office called and told

Me - (Amanda 27) My dh-- 26 We have been ttc # 1 for 3yrs 5mths My dh has severe oligospermia, Ivf with icsi is our only option. Ivf # 1--- failed Ivf # 2--- failed Ivf # 3-- hopefully in March 2013 at a new clinic!